Slit ch 3

by truealpha

Published March 24, 2014

12+

In there will be blood

I made it to my house as quickly as possible. I saw my father in the kitchen; he was eating a salad when he saw me.

“Hello son how was school today?” he asked looking at me with the same old expression he normally does

“Fine dad just fine, it’s always fine why do you keep asking me every day huh? Nothing interesting ever happened around me!” I stated with a slightly irritated tone

“… you alright Luke you seem to be a bit on edge, did something happen?” he asked raising an eyebrow

“No… no nothing happened dad NOTHING” I urged

“You know Luke you’re not good at keeping secrets” he responded crossing his arms as if he knew

“Well you’re not good at driving and I keep my mouth shut about that now don’t I?”

Now before he could open his mouth to respond to that his phone in his pocket rang. I toke that moment to quickly walk into my room. I sighed deeply and dropped my bag on the floor and sat on my bed. So I am a crossbreed… I somehow have attributes of lizards and if I don’t lay low the government with coming knocking at my door to put a bullet through my skull… well I might as well see what exactly I can do. I looked to my side to see the container that holds my bearded Lizard Thresh. I got up walked toward him and opened the lid on top put my arm through it so he can climb onto it.

“Hello Thresh how’s it handing buddy?” I asked him. He just looked at me with the same expression

“You know I learned something knew today at school it was astonishing. How was your day? I asked him as if I would get an answer. This time he kind of just ignored me and looked in another direction.

“You know Thresh I’ve had kind of a ruff day so can you at least look at me” I stated and at that moment he looked directly back at me.

“Well thank you” I said “you know man you’ve always been very obedient, I mean surprisingly obedient; ever since I met you you’ve always listened hmm” at that moment I remembered what Ryan said about certain animals and talking to them. I guess this would explain why Thresh always listened. Well I might as well test this right now. I opened my door and peeked outside to see my dad was still in the kitchen talking on the phone.

“Hey Thresh, I want you to go into the kitchen and see what my dad is talking about, when you find out come back and tell me” I commanded. Thresh then crawled down and from my arm onto the floor and toward the kitchen where my dad was. I let Thresh wonder the house from time to time so my dad wouldn’t pay no mind to him crawling around the kitchen. After about a minute of waiting Thresh came crawling back, he quickly made it up to my shoulder were he came close to my ear and I and opened his mouth with that he made a small sound in which I heard the words ‘he’s talking about you’ in that moment of pure shock I moved back quickly with that Thresh started to fall, before he could it the ground however I caught him before he could hit the ground.

“Sorry I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that I was just surprised okay just surprised… Okay let me think. So you can’t talk on your own will I know that when I was younger there was a time when I always asked you to speak to me and stuff I know That was stupid but I was ten okay TEN. Okay… can you repeat what you just said?” I asked as I put him up to my ear again where again he made noise where I head the words ‘he’s talking about you’ again.

“Okay…so I’m not insane… completely. Well good job Thresh, I think that’s enough excitement for you today” I said as I carefully put him back into his case, I then opened a drawer that had multiple bags of dead bugs I pulled one out then toke out five dead bugs and put it in front of him.

“you deserved that” I said to him as I closed his lid and sat on my bed. Well that happened… that seriously happened, there really is no avoiding it now Ryan was right. Okay just don’t think about this just don’t think about tit at all, you’ve hada long day Luke it’s time to just sleep this off. I closed my eyes in an effort to go to sleep but before I could even get comfortable my dad knocked on my door.

“hey Luke you actually have a visitor, he said he’s one of your friends” my dad said from behind the door

Friend? FRIEND? I don’t have any friends people avoid the guy with the weird slit eyes, sharp teeth and serial killer type hair. I DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. I came rushing out of my roompast my dad to the front door to see Ryan standing there in an awkward way.

“Hey how’s it going Luke can I come in?” he asked looking dead at me with a weird expression on his face

“um I don’t know about that Ryan I don’t think my dad would like people I just met in the house” I responded

“Oh no man if you’re a friend of Luke you’re welcome to visit us, I’m Mr. Harper Lukes father”

“cool to meet you sir, hey Luke can you show me to your room” he requested as he toke a step into the house and I noticed that he wasn’t wearing any shoes. I lead him into my room and closed it behind him. He looked around and noticed Thresh.

“Hey look a lizard” he said nonchalantly

“HOW DID YOU FIND OUT WHERE I LIVED?” I demanded in a somewhat over exaggerated fashion

“I told you I would find your house YOU need to LISTEN” he said that last word with emphasis

“Okay but how?” I persisted

“I followed your scent here. Since you’re a crossbreed you smell slightly different then the average person” Ryan explained

“Okay but that doesn’t explain WHY you’re here” I said knitting my brow

“I’m here to see what you’re doing and I see you haven’t gotten the fake contacts I said you needed!” Ryan screeched

“I just got home man I had to talk to Thresh my lizard. Give me brake” I stated

I understand that you had to talk to him but you need I mean NEED to hide your eyes.” He said as he started to rummage around his pocket and pulled out a contact lenses case and opened it to reveal green contact lenses “wear this”

“oh wow you got me contacts for me how sweet of you” I said sarcastically as I toke them and put them on and looked in the mirror, they were green “wow this is really how I would look with these eyes huh… I don’t like it” I said disappointingly

“I don’t like it either but it’s a must, now um Luke were you followed at all?” Ryan asked getting closer to me

“What… no I wasn’t followed” I said in a not so confidant tone

“Luke…” Ryan said

“Nobody followed me” I persisted

“Okay did any bunnies follow you?”

“Um well one did for a split sec-

“WHAT!?” Ryan bellowed

“Okay look calm down a white rabbit was following me in the park for a minute until I noticed it and-

“Punched it you punched it right?” Ryan questioned

“What? No I just picked it up and gave it to a little girl and-

“You picked it up?! NO you don’t do that it probably has a clear description of you now! and another thing: Why would you give a little girl a rabbit?! You don’t do that what if it was sick or something?” He questioned

“Okay screw you what did you want me to do? You made me paranoid okay! I just wanted it to get rid of it!” I said.

Ryan sighed and walked around for a bit he had his hand on his messy hair and he had his teeth clenched.

“Great… just great she knows what you look like now”

Comments & reviews · 3
TheCrimsonLady wrote a review Review · Mar 24, 2014

Hello, love!

Review time!

Alright, so I had a hard time getting past all the grammatical and spelling issues. Once I got past them, though, your story flowed nicely. The pacing was good, and the plot line intrigued me further.

Technicalites:

“Hello son how was school today?” he asked looking at me
“Hello son. How was school today?” he asked looking at me

“Fine dad just fine, it’s always fine why do you keep asking me every day huh? Nothing interesting ever happened around me!” I stated with a slightly irritated tone
“Fine dad, just fine. It’s always fine. Why do you keep asking me every day, huh? Nothing interesting ever happens around me!” I stated with a slightly irritated tone.

“… you alright Luke you seem to be a bit on edge, did something happen?” he asked raising an eyebrow
If this is on purpose, Luke should be thinking and not hear the first part.

The part where Luke freaked out about friends seemed really off to me....

ANyway, there are more gammmar and punctuation istakes so watch your run on sentences you tend to forget punctuation a lot.

But I love the story!!!

Evilly,
Aure

This review was only meant to be helpful

User avatar
TheCrimsonLady
Comment
TheCrimsonLady commented Comment · Mar 24, 2014

Hello, love!

Review time!

Alright, so I had a hard time getting past all the grammatical and spelling issues. Once I got past them, though, your story flowed nicely. The pacing was good, and the plot line intrigued me further.

Technicalites:

“Hello son how was school today?” he asked looking at me
“Hello son. How was school today?” he asked looking at me

“Fine dad just fine, it’s always fine why do you keep asking me every day huh? Nothing interesting ever happened around me!” I stated with a slightly irritated tone
“Fine dad, just fine. It’s always fine. Why do you keep asking me every day, huh? Nothing interesting ever happens around me!” I stated with a slightly irritated tone.

“… you alright Luke you seem to be a bit on edge, did something happen?” he asked raising an eyebrow

User avatar
IamTraunt
Review
IamTraunt wrote a review Review · Mar 24, 2014

Hey! IamTraunt here!
I love the relationship between son and father! Its really life like! Especially 'how was your day?' Loved it!

Somethings you need to adjust:
"Hello(,) son(.) How was school today?”
"he asked(,) looking at me with the same old expression he normally does(.)"
“Fine(,) dad(,) just fine, it’s always fine(!) Why do you keep asking me every day(,) huh? Nothing interesting ever happened around me!” I stated(,) with a slightly irritated tone(.)"
"(Are) you alright Luke(?) You seem to be a bit on edge, did something happen?” he asked raising an eyebrow(.)"
You missed out quite a lot of punctuation, I'm sure you can see from rereading it - but overall, it was great!



Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
— Jules de Gaultier