Young Writers Society

Hi there, hope you're having a great day! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
So this poem is super sweet - the gist of it that I understood was that the speaker has went through some big life things with their love (hurricanes, school etc) and now it's like all of time circles around these moments shared together so they express their love in saying, whatever they go through good / bad they hope to spend it with their love.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
One of the most exciting moments this couple seems to have shared together was going through a hurricane - though this is the only moment not really described / expanded upon - I'd definitely urge describing this one a bit more and maybe even bringing in those rain / hurricane descriptors to every stanza to add to the continuity. I think also the second to last stanza is going backwards in time, You might play around with how the stanzas are organized - have they always felt this love, or was there a moment of revelation?

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
I really appreciated the consistent form of the poem with the refrain and even stanzas - this made the poem feel very organized and clear. This can sometimes feel repetitive, but I think you did a good job of keeping each stanza different and engaging in telling the story of the relationship. I also really enjoyed your use of specific imagery throughout - instead of just generic references to events, you brought clarity and described them so the reader could start to construct the scene. My favorite stanza was the one about it raining, I love rain imagery!

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall this poem was almost formulaic with it's use of a consistent refrain and set-up, but it made it very easy to understand all the way through. I enjoyed the read and look forward to checking out more of your poems in the future!

alliyah

Hello! Ley here to review this delightful work for you. Today, I’ll be using my 'Autumn-Themed Review Template'! We’ll begin with my initial impressions, then delve into the aspects that stood out like the vibrant hues of fall, and then get into the critiques. I hope you find this review insightful, and that you're enjoying the cozy charm of autumn, wherever you are in the world! Let’s dive in!

The First Signs of Autumn
I'm a sucker for romantic/admiration poetry, so here I am. And I'm so glad I clicked on this piece. I love the metaphors you used in this poem, and if I were to read this (if I were on the receiving end of this poem), I'd probably cry. It's truly beautiful! Let's get into some specifics of what I loved about this piece.



A Golden Harvest

i don't know how to say

that your voice is like piano music.

gentle fingers pressing on ivory keys, please

keep talking, i need to feel calm again.

but i want to spend the rest of my life's natural disasters with you.