Rocks

Chilow again for another review

Thank you so much for turning me on to this poem as well! I was not wrong in saying that I was sure your other poetry would be just as good as "9:00."

You seem to somehow know me personally (xD) as both of your works that I read so far have related directly to me! First with 9:00, and now with this; I picked up on the habit of collecting rocks from my mother, so it's definitely a relatable base.

"I am a thief.

A thief of memories.

A thief of rocks.

I steal one on every adventure"

^^ I love these lines in the first stanza, maybe because of the way you make your memories stolen from another, a way you can remember them and the experiences you shared. I think WannabeWriter down below put it quite well about how your poem also really delved into how many people just don't or can't appreciate how beautiful the things are/ can be around them, and how even things one might not consider beautiful at all can hold a beautiful /meaning/.

Sorry I can't share more thoughts, I don't think I'm anywhere near on your level and thus I am not qualified to make judgements xD All I can say is that /I/ enjoy your works, and that you should keep up the good work!

P.S. If you had time I'd love your feedback on my own (poor, sad, awful, etc.) attempt at poetry, titled The Power of Words.

Heya, TheColoroftheSky! Casanova(Your favorite reviewer you gotta admit!) Is here for ANOTHER review! How I've done so many I have no clue.. I figured I would be burnt out by now. Anyway- with my ADHD brain I can't keep my thought process long enough to do the good, great, the amazing and the bad, worst, terrible thing. So bear with me, this might become a little skewed.
Okay, to the review! Haha!
Anyway- the first thing I noticed was there was nothing to break apart the stanza's- so I read it as one and it didn't flow /that/ well. But, hey, but a,"~," between the stanza's and I won't do that again! Style preferences, ya know?
The next thing I noticed was the imagery. It was there. It was good. But that's about it. It wasn't the best thing of yours that I had read, but it definitely wasn't the worst. Really, you are a good writer and I love your descriptions, but this one wasn't one I would read over a few times. It's one that had it's moment- but then kind of just stayed there if you know what I'm saying.
Examples:
"When I go on walks with you,

down the infinite trails,

I am a thief."
Not only does the flow seem choppy even with the comma, the,"infinite trails," part seems so over used. Yeah yeah, we get it. It's forever. But try to describe it in a way that isn't so cliche! In a way that makes us jump with wonder!

"I chose you as my favorite person.

The one I value the most.

So I collect these rocks,

to keep the feelings solid,

to keep them smooth or rough,

big or small,

Just as they were."
I love how the feelings are compared to rocks, honestly. The,"Solid," part really help pull it together, but I felt as if your flow is really changing from the beginning of the poem.


"The dark ones with depth,

the infused black and white ones.

The calmingly smooth red rocks,"
Calmingly isn't a word- I don't think.
Plus I felt as if the colours were supposed to mean something- but I can't be sure if it's that or just more description. WHAT DO THEY MEAN MAN? EMOTIONS? PURITY? INNOCENCE? WHAT?
Anyway- I love what you're doing for the most part. You have an idea, and you're not stretching it out too far. You're doing exactly what you should do with it- nothing more and nothing less. It's impressive.
One other thing- "Repetition impresses facts upon dull minds."
I'm sure that I don't have to tell you what that means by now- but give it a shot!
Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.
Your friend- Matthew Casanova Aaron.

Beautiful. This was such a nice poem to read. I love how you have taken the object of rocks, and object which most of us don't appreciate, and turned it into a story of love and romance. For me, this poem is quite abstract, which I really like because sometimes I'm not sure whether you're sad, happy etc. This is okay though, because abstract poetry is one of my favourites. I love how you've described the rocks, and the line of the last stanza is so poignant and beautiful. It is something that everyone would find wonderful to read.

Thank you for writing this!

This was sweet. The way you began the poem really captured my attention. You talk about being a thief of rocks and compare it to the way this other person stole your heart.

I only have one suggestion for this, but it's kind of broad. The poem is long, considering that it lacks a lot of substance. You talk a lot about the same things repeatedly. You communicate your message clearly, just as you did in "Ode to those with Mental Illness". The difference is that this poem doesn't do much else. It doesn't make me feel connected with the writer (you). Maybe that's not your intention. But I think that if you make it your intention to connect with your reader and work with that, this piece could improve a lot.

Stanza one and stanza two seem relatively the same. Maybe instead of reminding the reader that you steal the rocks because they remind you of your time with the other person, you can touch on specific experiences you and the other person had together. Talk about why you chose this other person, or give us more imagery of the trails you're walking on (which can be one in the same thing, I guess). Right now, you remind me of my high school chemistry teacher in the way that you write. He was so smart that he taught us like we knew everything that he knew. Keep in mind that the reader doesn't know anything about your relationship with this person. They can only really be connected to what you're writing if they have a sense of what it's like to be you.

Thanks for writing

-JC

This poem is a good example of somebody looking at the simple things in life and showing how important they truly can be. Look at the beauty in life and don't doubt the simple things and how important they are. Memories can come from many different things, whether it's an souvenir from a vacation or a rock taken from the road while on a walk with somebody you love. This is very well written and I loved it!
~WannabeWriter112

I'll always love the way poets can make something that looks insignificant into an entire lifetime of beautiful stories and emotion. The rocks are a perfect example of that.

Your poem was beautiful, the rhythm was very good,it flowed nicely in the readers mind. I know some people don't like long sentences in a poem but I found yours to be perfectly placed! The way you described things made it all the better.

This is a beautiful poem, i'm glad I got to read it.

Hi thecolorofthesky, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day.

Title: I think the title Rocks was a perfect title to your poem. It was simple and yet said everything. It was interesting and ties to your poem wonderfully.

Theme: I really liked the rock theme that you had going through out the poem (that sounded better in my head. ) I also liked the representation of the person telling the story being a thief and that they steal rocks that represent memories. It just makes the poem really interesting and fun to read.

Description: Instead of just say rocks, you went to a whole new level and described the rocks with colours and texture. You gave me a picture of each of them even the boring grey ones and made them seem important. It was almost like you gave them personalities instead of them just being rocks.

Rhythm: Your rhythm was also really good. Some of the lines were a little long like this one

and bring them back in my pockets to put on my shelf.

I'm really glad you turned me on to this one too and I can say that It's 9:00 on a Saturday Night was not just a lucky break in terms of fantastic work! This one really touched me and even though I said I wouldn't get all mushy in my last review I'm gonna have to admit that my eyes are pretty close to overflowing at the moment.

Poems like this really are simply what I live for that kinda show melancholy has more of a scale than a single emotion. What I feel when I read works like this is very much melancholy but on the top of that scale because it's a good melancholy. That probably wasn't the best way to explain it, but I think that's as close as I can really get to describing it. Bittersweet, somber, pensive, really whatever you want to call it remains one of my favorite emotions (and words) and this poem just gave me a much needed reminded that it is indeed a good emotion.

Ok, that's enough mushy ranting from me, onto the poem itself! I think this one is really relatable as well with memories and what certain things can mean for what we remember. People say that all good things must end, but that doesn't necessarily need to be true. Even if the event or series of events must at some point come to a close, memories and mementos will always be there to remind us of the good times. Moving forwards is key in life, but what we do as we move forwards will always be influenced by how we look at our pasts. A positive (or mixed [MELANCHOLY]) outlook is key to be able to let go and keep moving.

Huh. This turned more into a really bad motivational speech instead of a review. I hope that reading what your work is capable of doing to people and their emotions is review enough Again, keep up the good work, and I look forwards to crying while I read more of your work in future!