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137,630 Literary Works • 672,054 Reviews
IcyFlame here for a review that looks as if it's not going to have any nitpicks!
There isn't much here that I can pick apart; your characters are strong and so is your plot line and it looks as though you have clear ideas in your head and are easily putting them onto paper.
This post is a good length too as it holds just the right amount of information to keep me hooked. I love the character's name incidentally, although I'm not too sure how important that is. If you had written about a Theophillius I'm sure I would like him just as much.
Keep typing!
StoryWeaver, back for more, and no less happy than the first time. *Liked
By this point I can't even find many faults, and I love that, because that means that I can just like this and talk about why I like it so much instead of picking this to pieces. Your story so far has very unique and strong characters, although I would like to know a little more about Dakota personally. Your MC really fascinates me, I guess in a way because I can relate to him. And I think a lot of people will. And I definitely like Naomi, who seems to manage balancing out the guys who've definitely got their conflicts. Your plot seems beyond solid, and I just want to keep knowing more about this mysterious nightshade. My one complaint? I wish it was longer.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver