everything's okay

I believe that this poem could have been a lot stronger, and I also believe that better word choice would improve it greatly. Refrain from using the word 'cause' instead of 'because' because often people can misinterpret this for 'cause' like cause and effect. The word cause makes your poem seem less serious, and makes the angst seem more casual than I think you want it to seem. This poem has some potential though.

Hello.

This poem strikes me as something like a teen angst poem.

First: The beginning of your poem is very weak. The start of the poem needs something in it that will draw the reader in to your poem. However, the repetition and the very vague descriptions you have used in the start don't draw a reader in. You need something more vivid to describe how you just submit to the hurt and pretend that nothing is wrong. Instead of telling us how you feel, you have to make us feel it too.

The rest of your poem follows in the same way as the first. There is hardly a vivid description in it. Although it gets better in the second to the There you speak of tears and heartbreak and not just about being sad.

I'm sorry. I don't think I'm making much sense but simply, I think this poem needs to be more vivid.

Hope that helped.

Good luck and keep writing.

--Knightly