the dedication collection (updates with time)

by herb

Published November 21, 2023

In y) the myth of becoming - collections + poetry books

elaboration: What is the dedication collection?

Each poem will be an acrostic or some sort of hidden message hiding a YWS user's name! See if you can find each one. This will be labeled easy and hard. (and maybe extra hard)

also ill try to make them poetic and not just "Tea is timed"

okay maybe i made this because i find it fun

easy (you should be able to see who's in it.)

poem one

putting ink to paper would be harder

with no quill or pen to write with

with no paper or book to write on

with no human or brain to think with

with no memories or joys to think of

poem two

freshening and sweet

piercing spears through the heart

the scents overwhelming

and yet

a garden of hearts

some cooling and sweet

some burning and sour

the contrast may not feel right

but it always has been

it always will be

poem three

the graveyard of my mind

is one of much disdain

and while one says you are the best

and your talent exceeds

i hold on to the words they said

and the thoughts ingrained in my mind

because who am i if not

a mold formed by poor choices

a ghost of who i was

a boy who is forced to wander

a boy who is a shadow of himself

hard (maybe its a little harder to find them... or a lot.)

poem four

though you crawl 

and shimmy

and shine

i have to wonder

how you still have 

plumage

faith

hope

because those are all things i lost

yet you hold them

though the sea flows red

poem five

and though her companion may be small

and frail

and gray

and animal

he still rises above us all

nibbling each thing day after day

seeds and crumbs

cookies and corn

cores and beans

and anything else he'd see

all of the world looks like a snack to him

our dearest king
and his dearest companion in life

poem six

things like warm winter days
and cold summer nights

things like rabbits in spring

and theater in the fall

aren't they up your avenue

don't they light a spark

because if they do

why feel guilt about them?

MORE!!! MORE!!!

poem seven

and like a fish
the anchovy 

or the salmon

or the tuna

all of them can either fight

or flee

because if it's not animalistic

is it not human either?

poem eight

to hint and nudge

to push and shove

to feel joy and fear

to be sad and cheer

to not be human

is to not be subjective

is to not be yourself

is to not be who you strive to be

poem nine

being "creaturelike"

or being "primitive"

is neither old-fashioned

or featureless

it instead is just a new way

to be someone anew

to be the one that you looked up to

it is instead just a new way to look at oneself.


even MORE!!!

poem ten

elegant and graceful

yet prickly with thorns

a plant of hypocrisy

one that goes against what it should be
one that goes against what it would be

because when neither wilting or thriving

vines entangle the mind

leaving a trace of something more pungent than

a floral fragrance that frees you

poem eleven

yes spring may be a beautiful season

and sure, april may be the best month

and indubitably, the heart could be a stone

to place down and pick up

to spread joy and spark love

because in the end,

life is just cat and mouse

a never-ending chase

poem twelve

feelings of greed

grasping at envy

grasping at fear

all emotions cause

us to feel human

all feelings made

us who we are

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
herb
Comment
Stickied · herb commented Comment · Nov 21, 2023

just gonna...

Spoiler
@Quillfeather @Spearmint @GengarIsBestBoy @LuminescentAnt @KaiaJersaga @AilahEvelynMae @creaturefeature @OrabellaAvenue @alliyah @BluesClues @envy @Rose



and more... perhaps?

aw omg I love this collection!! :D

I love this too oh my gosh!!!! You nailed mine; I absolutely love it!!!! (I love all of them so much!!!) <33333333

I am truly honoured to be part of your beautiful dedication collection! You have an extraordinary talent for poetry!

Kaia replied · Dec 9, 2023

Hey, teatiime!
I have finally arrived and wow did you give me a hard assignment here. Each poem is so unique and beautiful in its own special way. For the YWSers I am most acquainted with the little hints were perfect. I especially loved how you slipped in words that we closely associate with each person described. Like for example, using anchovies for alliyah and then also carefully choosing to place avenue in Orabella's. These word choices were so subtle but easily suggested the person you were describing.

Like I may have mentioned, I'm not well acquainted with some of the members described, but I'm sure their poems match them well, but I can't critique those honestly :) but the members I know did really fit the descriptions. I missed Ellie's but then when I reread it I saw stone and it instantly made sense. :)

I'm not great at critiquing poetry as I don't do much on my own, so I won't really leave any criticisms except that (and this might be your style or be there for a reason) but I noticed that "heart" was spelled "hart" in poem 2.

Aside from that, it was a nice piece of freestyle poetry :)

Hope you have a wonderful day,
-Kaia

User avatar
herb
Comment
Stickied · herb commented Comment · Nov 21, 2023

answers:

Spoiler
poem one: Quillfeather! poem two: Spearmint poem three: GengarIsBestBoy! poem four: LuminescentAnt.

herb replied · Nov 21, 2023

Spoiler
five: Kaia! six:OrabellaAvenue!

herb replied · Nov 21, 2023

Spoiler
seven: alliyah eight: bluesclues nine:creaturefeature

herb replied · Nov 22, 2023

Spoiler
ten:Rose eleven:ellie >:3 twelve:envy

User avatar
DreamyAlice
Review
DreamyAlice wrote a review Review · Mar 9, 2024

Hey there!

Now herb, that is one of the most unique works in the green room I have ever seen so none of my review templates feel fitting, so let me just get into this! I got the quilly one and mint's. For everyone else, I kinda sneaked hehe. Now all of these poems are so beautiful on their own, and to get a poem written for you is always a really joyful thing that makes someone's day. You are awesome herb<3 You have such a beautiful presence on yws. When I'm struggling with writer's block or lack of inspiration, I find that writing about people is an excellent way to get the creative juices flowing.

The poems are short, so I understand that you couldn't enhance on few of the imagery that could be developed further. All of your poems have repetition in them and the same kind of flow and structure, you can try a few different styles, the repetition I felt was a little overdone. But I like the choice of freestyle and small-cased letters, it feels appropriate for this work.

Yeah, nothing else. It is a beautiful collection mentioning some beautiful members of the site. I am sure you wrote it for fun, and it made many of the people you wrote about smile. It's wonderful!

Keep Writing👍
~Alice

User avatar
Hijinks
Review
Hijinks wrote a review Review · Feb 21, 2024

Hi herbalhour! I noticed this poem (collection) has been sitting in the green room for a while, so I thought I'd stop by with a quick review for you.

General Impressions
I think this is such a cute idea. Poetry can be really personal and individual, or it can also be interactive and connecting - but I don't always see so much of the latter! Using people's names as inspo for short poems is a great example of using poetry to connect (and also?? a great idea for crushing writer's block).

I do notice, looking through these poems, that a lot of lines tend to start with repeated words. For example, Poem 4 starts four lines with "with". Poem 5 starts four lines with "and". Poem 8 starts five lines with "to" and three lines with "is". Repetition can be a valuable technique to use in a poem, but as with most things, it's better in moderation! A lot of repetition can sometimes lose the reader's engagement. And, in poetry, every single word is super important - so if you're choosing to use the same word over and over, it's good to think about what effect you want it to have. If you're trying to convey mundanity, or numbness, or something along those lines, I think it can make a lot of sense! In any case,,, I don't mean to go on a long rant about repetition. My point is, sometimes less is more and it's good to think about what your intended effect may be.

Specific Things
A few of my favourite lines + images. :)

the heart could be a stone
to place down and pick up

^ I love the image being created here! There is something really poetic (romantic, even?) about imagining someone choosing to pick up someone else's heart over and over. Honestly I think this image or action could be explore in a whole other poem all on its own!
though the sea flows red

^ simple but effective.
the contrast may not feel right

^ I like this line because it intrigues me. I feel like this could also be a really interesting concept to explore further.

All in all, I think this is a really fun concept. We've had some hashtags on the People Tab similar to this (#freindshippoems, name acrostics, etc.) but I don't think I've seen this sort of thing in the Publishing Center!

Best,
~Hijinks

herb replied · Feb 21, 2024

did you know who's was who's

herb replied · Feb 21, 2024

boy are these old >.> when i was a wee lil poet



When one door closes, another one opens. If not, just take out your jackhammer and break through that wall.
— Toast F. Krestvwich