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140,799 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Hey! I am Asma and i'll be reviewing your amazing poem today!
So First of all, i loved your concept- the way the hero dies on an unimportant day...that's actually the reality, you see.
I also really liked the way you described the grief of the mother.
It was good time reading this and i really look forward for more of these.
Keep writing and all the best for your next writings!
Demtry here to review you! So first off, I really liked your poem; I absolutely loved your line, "dies on an unimportant Tuesday."
.x
I would suggest in the first stanza, when you're giving three examples of heroes, to perhaps change either soldier or air marshal because they're both military related, or make them all military related.
And just another thought (not something you should necessarily consider changing, just something interesting) but maybe in the second stanza, you could make it even more detached by exchanging "his" with "the," like "the mother" instead of "his mother" to give it an even more ambiguous feel.
Overall, amazing poem - your line breaks are spectacular and I love, love the ending