Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Love or lust, betrayal or trust?
Who knows between two what is must?
Love is born in eyes, bred in eyes
But it is what the cruel world defies,
Lust too develops by sight,
Lust when quenched shows a man’s might,
Marriage is the knot of love,
Yet lust makes the first move.
~
Love is the excuse, man woman both use,
The main reason is lust, then comes distrust,
Breaks all bodily bond which they were fond,
Man’s soul which was meant to have body hold,
Had got curbed under the body bold,
Heart was where love grows,
True love is what who actually knows,
Love or lust betrayal or trust?
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi Sagnik,
Lust is when you love only what you see. And love is when you lust what's inside.
'Love or Lust' is the theme of ages, you can find countless discussions, poems and quotes on it. But it never disappointed the writers and readers like the mysteries of the universe.
Yours was one of such piece of writings, you had touched the basics but left the mystery unsolved. The mystery is nothing but 'true love.'
I thought, at first sight, your poem is yet another distinguish between love and lust.
But here the twist of your poem,
that distinguish from others-- not all love is called love, sometimes it is fake, yet they call it also as love as an excuse to satisfy their lust...
These were my favourite lines of your poem. As an Indian, I could relate much well the knot with the marriage.
'bred' is a different tense than the rest of your poem.
The word 'two' seemed unclear to me as there is a comma after lust in the first line. Because the two might indicate 'between love and lust' or 'between betrayal and trust' or 'between 'love or lust' and 'betrayal or trust'.
Here I felt the rhyming is forced in these stanzas.
I hope the review helps you. Keep writing
We either marry out of love or out of lust. But only one of them stays for better and for worse.
Hello, Chips here with a review.
This was an interesting poem, love and lust are two things some may struggle to distinguish and your poem seemed to distinguish the difference between them yet also leaves room for the reader or narrative character to still question which one is which and which one they're experiencing. It read almost lyrically at some points.
There is always room for improvement, so I have a few suggestions which may be of help to you.
Firstly, I wouldn't have personally chosen to write the whole poem in italics, only the parts needed for emphasis, or maybe just the first and last line as they are repeated phrases.
The rhyme scheme in the poem worked for the most part, but at times it seemed forced and the rhyming wasn't consistent with each line, or every other line.
"Love or lust betrayal or trust?"
Your last line in the final stanza here, is missing a comma after the word, "lust".
"Marriage is the knot of love,
Yet lust makes the first move."
I found this point to be quite interesting, maybe elaborating on it.
"Love is the excuse, man woman both use,"
I think the word, "and" should be between "man woman" for greater punctuation and so that the sentence flows more.
Overall, I hope this review helped, well done and Keep writing!
--Chips