how was your day?

Hey!

I'd just like to begin with how good this poem is and the best thing is that I can really relate to this poem. The emotion and everything about it, and seeing as I've gone through rough times I know how it feels. This really was attention grabbing. I liked the title which obviously was what brought me in. I think it really gets down to the point instead of "sugar coating" it. I think that it just flows even though it isn't that long. But sometimes things are better when they aren't protracted.

Sarah24

Hi. This is kman134. i'm here to review your work.

"I told everyone to 'Fuck off' today because i was feeling vulnerable."

I can understand this. anyone insecure would lash out in hostility.

You lose yourself and find yourself broken. you try to put yourself back together with something sweet. however, no matter what you use, it won't put you back the same.

This was a really good poem. has a hint of magical realism to it. i hope you write more.

Damn. You write really good poetry, Marmalade! I love reading your newest and latest works you post. I see you've gotten a lot of likes, so you must be an awesome, talented young writer.

In this short poem, clearly there weren't misspelled words. The formatting style you used is a neat one, and really suits the mood. Perhaps you were in a bad mood when you wrote this? Whatever the case, thank you for posting. I can relate to it, haha. The entire seven lines seem to be so magically strung together, and it's like "#me" if I spoke it aloud.

Have a wonderful day! Thank you for sharing this beautiful and awesome poem with us

ZeldaIsShiek here for another review on realistic poetry! I think this is my third one in two days! Anyways, let's jump into it!

Now the first thing that caught your eye was the first line itself, but you probably intended for that to catch the reader's eye. This poem really didn't speak to me, and it was as you said in your description; a 'meh' poem. I don't really have that much to say to make it better because it is perfect in most ways, except it makes little sense to me and just doesn't stand out.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but this work may not be one of your finest works.
-Harrison

This is Kaos here for a review!

An interesting choice for the title of the poem and it does good at drawing in the reader. More specifically, it's why I clicked the poem, so I commend you on that. Further into the actual poem, I think that this got across what it needed to, but it didn't really go much further. I don't like the style that it was written in, which is what I think bugs me about the poem. It's very talky in that the speaker doesn't really do anything else but that. It seems like a normal poem for you with the imagery of tea and honey and talking about anger but I wanted more than just that.

I wanted more about the speaker being vulnerable and you could use that as some sort of imagery like a weak spot or a thin wall in some sort of clay house. Something else that provides us with this feeling because I didn't really get the emotion from the poem because there wasn't really any emotional impact. I have to give it to you on line 3 and 4, which are probably the strongest parts of the poem. The first two lines are the ones that get me and make me dislike the tone and voice of the poem because the speaker is just telling us this sort of thing instead of showing us. I don't think that all telling is bad, but I wanted more context and more insight to this.

How does telling someone those words go along with feeling vulnerable? I'm not saying that I disliked the poem as a whole, because I didn't and I love imagery with putting the pieces back together and everything of that sort, but that's all it does. Talk about something new that we haven't heard before like breaking a pencil and then trying to hold the two pieces together between finger and thumb. Get creative with this kind of thing and tell this message that's been done before (and that's okay) in a new way.

I hope I helped and have a great day!