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Facing Fall

by niteowl

in september, you must bend
with the changing winds,
as some days are hotter than august
while others bring just a touch of frost.

in october, you must brave
the fears that green leaves covered
as you crunch the leaves on the forest trail.

in november, you must begin
to find the joy in darker nights
and keep your family close
when snow comes knocking down your door.

it is easy to dance in spring rains
and smile in the sun of summer,
but it is in autumn
where you learn to forgive.

A/N: This was a NaPo entry from 2017, inspired by this line from John Donne: No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.

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37 Reviews

Points: 221
Reviews: 37

Wed Oct 30, 2019 12:43 am
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Raelyn wrote a review...

Hello! I just wanted to say I really enjoyed reading this poem. I love how you took one simple topic like fall and let it grow into this beautiful piece of art. My favorite part of the poem is probably the part at the end. I don't know what it is exactly but "but it is in autumn
where you learn to forgive." is such ann alluring well-written line. I don't know why you would have to learn to forgive in autumn exactly, and yet I can relate and it makes so much sense. Sorry If I am being confused. I really look forward to reading more of your pieces. Keep up the poetic ways:)

niteowl says...

Thank you! :D With that line, I was thinking about the seasons of life, and how as you get older you have to make peace with parts of your past and forgive those who hurt you.

Raelyn says...

That is very true and would make a beautiful poem.

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209 Reviews

Points: 400
Reviews: 209

Tue Oct 29, 2019 6:24 pm
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EverLight wrote a review...

EverLight here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned- you may feel offended

First Impression
Ha. You reviewed my poem, and now it's my turn to pass along critique to yours!...but seriously. This was good.

Nitpicks & Grammar
You have no punctuation errors that I could see, however there is a lack of capitalization-I agree with WinnyWriter below-Poems look better when they are capitalized. Finally the names of your months should be capitalized.

Style & Flow
All good here.

In the end this was a pretty good poem. Keep it up!

niteowl says...

Thanks for the review! See my response to WinnyWriter for some great articles on capitalization and punctuation in poetry. It's a stylistic choice, but I concede that it may not fit this poem.

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100 Reviews

Points: 5531
Reviews: 100

Tue Oct 29, 2019 6:15 pm
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WinnyWriter wrote a review...

Hello! This is a nice poem. I noticed you focused on each autumn month and listed specific characteristics. That gives it a nice structure and organization. It's also perfect for this time of year. ;) I like how you've enshrouded each month with a touch of mystery and foreboding in addition to the pleasant descriptors which this poem boasts. I had conflicting feelings about the lines which read, "But it is in autumn where you learn to forgive." However, those conflicting feelings were not necessarily bad. It just makes me search my brain to find a parallel that can be drawn between the season and forgiveness.

Something else I like is how the initial ideas one might gather about this poem are different from those they might have when they conclude it. At first, the reader gets the idea that the writer is an admirer of fall above other seasons, but then the feelings turn to understanding that perhaps autumn is truly a season of solemn thoughts. You've chosen a good title, as well.

For future reference, you've done pretty well with your punctuation, but you have little to no capitalization. I see that a lot in people's works; is that "a thing" that I'm not aware of or something? I personally like to see capitalization utilized in its proper place. I think it gives your work a more professional appearance, as well as making it more readable.

Well, that's all for now. Keep writing!

niteowl says...

Hi there! Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I actually just came up with the title because I never did title the original draft.

Re: capitalization-no caps is indeed a thing. I highly recommend reading Capitalization in Poetry and its sister article Punctuation in Poetry to understand the different possibilities. I often use it for aesthetic reasons as well as to emphasize certain ideas (like if I'm writing about low self-esteem, I might leave "i" uncapitalized to show how the speaker thinks so little of themselves). So it's worth thinking about the possible choices rather than assuming only one way is "proper".

However, I think you might be right that it doesn't fit the structure of this work, and perhaps I will change it to sentence capitalization. I'm not sure, but I think I might have written it no-caps to contrast with the formal line-capitalization of the Donne line.

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48 Reviews

Points: 2888
Reviews: 48

Tue Oct 29, 2019 5:13 pm
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Stellarjay says...

This is a really good poem!

niteowl says...

Thank you! :)

It takes as much imagination to create debt as to create income.
— Leandro Orr