The landscape is tended carefully around here,
rich with rainstorm-fueled grass
and trees with rainbow blossoms,
releasing enough pollen
to coat the city three times over.
If you let the pink and orange flowers catch
your eye, you almost won't see
the looming brick and glass tower
that holds the thousand failed experiments
of your dreams.
A/N: This is revised from the opening poem of NaPo 2016: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=406&t=104933#p1311901
Hey, THIS IS ADORABLE!!!! I love spring season and this poem reminds me of spring. The description is Fantasmagorical, while reading I felt like I am sitting in middle of a meadow full of flowers, in the lap of nature , feeling the beauty of spring.
I would like to point out, that the poem would sound better if the sentences would have been regular. Some sentences are too short and some are long,.
Overall this is really lovely.
Have a good day!
Hey, THIS IS ADORABLE!!!! I love spring season and this poem reminds me of spring. The description is Fantasmagorical, while reading I felt like I am sitting in middle of a meadow full of flowers, in the lap of nature , feeling the beauty of spring.
I would like to point out, that the poem would sound better if the sentences would have been regular. Some sentences are too short and some are long,.
Overall this is really lovely.
Have a good day!
Good work here. It flows clearly and leaves a pleasant feeling characteristic of satisfying poetry. The picture it paints is easy to envision in the mind's eye. I like how you've depicted the "disguise" mentioned in the title. Keep up the good work!
Even a somber work can be pleasant to me, because I enjoy the full spectrum of emotions in written work.Oh I love this!! It's so incredibly descriptive and every word is so clearly carefully chosen. I love the imagery and the ideas presented in this! Really really well written poem! I didn't really see anything wrong grammar or punctuation wise so I don't really have any suggestions. Awesome job!
~Mack
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