The seventh grade

Hello nightshadows and emivanz1!
I really like your guys' poem, and I love the way it's written.
It truly captures the essence of a middle school love story, and the struggle of trying to get over your first real crush. I know for sure that at least, my experience was very difficult, so it resonates deeply with me.
Your language was immaculate, and the rhythm seemed to drag me along as I was reading. It almost took the tone of a song, and one I'd add to my playlist and listen to on repeat.
Again, good job! Congrats on writing such a great piece!
-Addison

hey, nightshadows...

Again a very amazing poem........the way you started '"Life goes on

I will survive," is absolutely a perfect way to start .
I just noticed that you write a lot of poems.....so can you please suggest some topics on which I can also try writing? well I would be really thankful if u do so..

ok back to the poem......I love writings of romantic genre and this is exactly what i wanted to read. Your writing skills are really nice.......
I dont have anything else to say....

keep writing!

'Ello, you both! I haven't reviewed in a while, so consider me rusty :/

positives

I like the choice of using a rhyme scheme. The idea of a middle school boy and someone still having feelings after so long is a stronger topic, but the rhyme scheme works to add more flow and carelessness to emotion. I personally don't mind stronger topics in poetry because I write a lot of sad poems, so it doesn't change much of my actual thoughts.

I think the collaboration aspect is nice too. It's hard at first to share poetic feelings with another person and create a poem that feels connected in lines with two or more authors, so I always enjoy seeing collab works. The topic does seem difficult to pinpoint because it feels personal though, so that must've been hard.

I also really appreciate the usage of flowers and love being together. I tend to like any nature imagery with love, really, so I'll always love any similar images anywhere in writing. It's also an often used metaphor to describe a blooming type of love, but it's more rare to use the seasons and flowers to describe a withered love.

suggestions

In some stanzas, the topic feels disjointed. I've mentioned how I love the flower stanza, but it doesn't exactly follow what you were going for before. Following the same topic all throughout a poem is not needed, but there should be something that holds the minor ideas together and the major ideas together.

Here is an ordered list of all of the topics I see:
a. Life
b. Introducing the boy from seventh grade
c. Heartbreak
d. Understanding the heartbreak
e. Flowers and winter
f. More seasons
g. Back to the boy

The topics of a, b, c, and d all fit nicely together - they document what happens when someone goes through heartbreak or remembers the person who they consider "the one that got away." It's a strong, solid topic for most poetry because it has potential to be changed and reflected on by many people.

Then the disjointed feeling occurs when we're introduced to the seasonal side of the poem. I personally think seasons can describe romance in many ways, but there needs to be space in the timeline for all of that to happen.

This has great potential ~ good job, you two!

chi

Thank you so much Emivanz1 for collabing with this awesome poem!!!