Heya, 1st of all, I really hope you're alright. My PM's are always open as well as my email if you want it. Let's get into this then,
"A smile,
Just as simple as that.
Can hide,
the real impact."
This line hits so hard, I love the way you seperated each line. It almost interrupts the rhythm, which feels like your breath when you are stuck inside your feelings all alone...the dreaded feeling of overwhelming fear and worry engulf you as if it were something much bigger, scarier. It shows me the pure and daily discomfort that the writer feels on a regular basis. It's short and grabs the reader and gives them a suspenseful and curious mood to see what simply happened.
"People hide things,
that's just the way we are"
These two lines give me a few different ideas! Maybe the author knows that people hide things, however also knows that this is extreme and is something they can't hide anymore. Or maybe it could be used to suggest that you are trying to reassure yourself that it's not a big deal "people hide things anyway so what's the big deal?"
"But there's nothing I can do
to run away from the madness.
So I just hide
my overwhelming sadness."
This stanza hits so hard, due to my personal experiences. It is a feeling of constant downfall and pressure, until you go to your room at home and you just can't cope with it all...it all comes spilling out when you are alone in your 'comfort space' You really capture these scenes and memories in these lines and I really appreciate the pure picture you create with it. There is no confusion and goes straight to the sad point of the reality of feeling this way. You can't shake it off, you can't forget about it and you most certainly can't hide it...
"Not even my closest friends know,
when a smile is real, or just made of gold."
These two lines (OMG JUST BEAUTIFULLY EXECUTED) are wonderfully presented. It really shows how hard it is to speak out and tell someone just how broken you are. Again, you present it really nicely!
Overall this is amazing, you really captured the reality and the harsh fear that people feel when there is 'no way out'. It makes the reader think and sticks with them...I loved it and the mood that it creates ; I feel like this a lot so it was very easy to imagine the lines which I like a lot.
Stay safe and keep writing,
Love Rubes x
Points: 226
Reviews: 58
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