z

Young Writers Society


12+

Within My Blood (Chapter 8)

by myjaspercat


Jasper blew past every car on the highway. He was tired and wanted to get back to the motel as soon as possible. He’d been gone for a little over a month now and still couldn’t remember the half of what he did during that time. Last night he woke up on the floor of his hotel bathroom, his clothes stuck to him in crisp, bloody layers. It startled him since he didn’t remember ever leaving the hotel that night and in a panic he stripped the fabric from his body and shoved it as far down into the trash can as it could go. Jasper checked his phone again, it was nearly dinner time and he was dying to eat a home cooked meal again. The a/c hummed all around him like a faint whisper and he tapped his fingers along to it.

Only a few more miles to go. He could already see the scattered pear orchards that were the crown glory of Bluehaven dot the landscape around him. People would start gathering like crazy soon enough in the town square and Jasper knew his brothers would be busy hunting once the festival started. The whole process was still a bit overwhelming for him. Nearly six years later and the idea of actually hunting people like animals made him a bit uncomfortable. Yet he couldn’t deny the logic in the thinking. When Lazarus had first taken him and Oliver on a run he told Jasper that it was a much smarter way to curb the need he felt. They convinced him that by doing it this way they could better control the outcome, clean up as they went and when he participated in his first kill he was hooked.

Japer could see the town now, the street lights turning on one by one while the sun started to sink below the tree tops. The old ‘Welcome to Bluehaven sign grew larger as he sped past it. He eased up on the gas, slowing down to an acceptable speed before he made his way closer to town. As much as he hated the mundane rules of society he made it a point to follow them. After everything he had done in the past he couldn’t afford getting in trouble. The most important part of all those lessons Lazarus had taught him was about keeping off the radar. No one could know who you truly were. The second you became a part of the system it controlled you. They went through so much effort all those years ago to erase all the evidence of Jasper from his hometown that he felt like he owed Lazarus and Ellie that much.

The drive down main street seemed to drag on as the five o’clock traffic spilled out onto the streets. Worst part about small towns, there was only one main road that led in and out. He looked out at the few businesses that made up the majority of downtown as he passed them. Jasper didn’t know why he thought that things would be different once he came back, Bluehaven never changed. When he had left he had hoped so desperately that he would never have to return but like all frivolous wishing, he was wrong. Sooner or later the small out amount of money he managed to scrape up slowly dried up and his blackouts grew at an alarming rate. At first he thought he could just power through, find ways to avoid his triggers, but when he started to dream about his father Jasper knew it was time to head home. After about ten minutes of stop and go traffic Jasper finally made the turn off that would lead him to Wolff’s Motel.

Thirty minutes later the old building came into his view, it’s neon ‘vacancy’ sign humming into the night. Jasper sighed and pulled into a parking spot closest to the maid’s entrance. They never had anyone actually working the motel, Ellie and Lazarus always assigned the chores to the rest of them, but the side door into the kitchen was the one they used the most. When he first came here he was confused why no one used the front entrance but after the first hunt he understood. It was easier to control. He let the car idle for a few minutes while he mentally prepared himself. Jasper never told anyone he was leaving and he hadn’t had any contact with his family for a few months now. The fear of their disappointment gnawed at him.

Before he had a chance to turn the car off the soft light of the kitchen spilled out into the night. Jasper looked up to see Ellie standing in the doorway with her hands tangled into her apron. For a brief second she looked shocked and then she yelled something behind her and started towards him, a warm smile spread across her face.

“Oh my sweet boy,” she cooed as Jasper stepped out of the car, meeting her open arms with some of his own. “I’ve been so worried about you.”

“Hey there Ellie. I missed you too.” Jasper kissed her cheek. He always felt a warmth radiate around him when he was in Ellie’s arms. She reminded him of his own mother, the bittersweet resemblance shooting daggers into his heart. He loved her, he really did, but she was always just a reminder of what he was never allowed to have.

“It’s ok now though baby, you’re home and that all that matters.” Ellie kissed Jasper’s cheek now as she pulled his face down to meet hers. “Your brothers are going to be excited to see you. They’ve been rather busy while you were gone and I think Christian is going to be happy to have his soccer partner back.”

As if on cue the two boys pushed their way through the doorway and stumbled onto the gravel drive. Ellie looked over at them and chuckled. Jasper let a small laugh escape too, he couldn’t deny that he missed them. They had become everything he had.

“Hey look who it is! Back so soon.” The older boy yelled as he pushed himself off the ground. “I thought ya died or something. Where’d ya run off to anyway.”

“I uh… I just had to get away for a little bit.” Jasper mumbled as he followed Ellie over towards them.

“Well you could have said something.” The other boy said as he threw his arms around Jasper’s shoulders. “It would have been nice to know you weren’t going to be there for poker night.”

“Yeah, Christian could have used another person to take his money.”

“Shut up Xander I let you win.” Christian huffed.

“Oh yeah, like ya do every time.”

Jasper watched Christian lunge at Xander, the two of them falling to the ground again in a fit of laughter. He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. He never had brothers growing up and he wouldn’t trade them now for anything in the world.

“Come on dear, dinner’s just about done and the boys have someone downstairs. Why don’t you come in and bring her a plate while I finish up.”

The soft touch on his shoulder caused him to jump a little, but when he saw Ellie looking up at him warmly Jasper slowed the racing in his chest.

“Yes ma’am.” He said, following her into the motel.



--------------

Guinevere looked up from where she was sitting on the basement floor, tears streamed down her face. Her clothing was disheveled and she was starting to smell like absolute hell. It was beginning to darken outside, the light in the small room was fading quickly and the shadows grew larger making the space even more eerie than it was before. There was a chill in the room, a lingering cold that seeped deep into her bones. Somewhere in the distance she could hear the faint ticking of a clock and Guinevere tried to count along with the seconds. She couldn’t remember how long she’d been down here. Originally they had kept her strapped to the chair in the middle of the room but at some point a quiet older woman came down here and let her out. She was kind and soft spoken, profusely apologizing for the behavior of her family as she undid the wrist straps. Guinevere couldn’t quite imagine why she would untie her, it really didn’t make sense. People like this tended to keep their victims locked up or at least that’s what she was taught back in school.

Power seekers, that’s what they were called. The people who methodically planned out their rituals, they enjoyed watching their victims suffer, reveled in their pain. Guinevere kept trying to remember one of the cases they studied, any of them really, hoping that somehow if she could recall those details it could help her out of the situation she was in. But nothing came to her, all she could focus on was the faint trickle of water that seeped through the floorboards. She still hadn’t gotten used to the mildew and lingering aroma of bleach. It made her head spin and perfectly complemented the raging headache she’d had for the past few nights.

She eyed the basement steps again, afraid to hear the growingly familiar creak that followed heavy footsteps on the wooden boards. Someone was bound to come down any second now, every night after the sun had begun to set she was always brought a small plate of food. Tonight Guinevere hoped that it would be the kind older woman, she wanted to ask her all of the questions that kept racing through her head. She had only seen her that one night but the hope still struck every time the creaking started, yet it never was. It confused her a bit. The whole food thing. Unlike everything else about these people it was the only thing about them that showed kindness. That little ounce of compassion meant a lot to her, it gave her hope. Told whatever gut feeling she continued to listen to that somehow she might actually make it out of this alive. The distant ticking stopped and in the distance the clock chimed.

“One, two, three, four, five, six.” Guinevere counted out loud, her voice filling the emptiness around her.

As if on cue the stairs creaked, straining against the weight of the person coming down the steps. Guinevere’s heart started pounding the same way it did every time. Shrinking as far back against the wall as she could possibly go she stared at the bottom of the staircase waiting. A couple times she thought about grabbing one of the many tools that lay scattered around the table in the far back of the room but she was never able to gather enough courage to get up. Afraid of getting caught and strapped back into that chair that always sat sinisterly in the middle of the floor as if it was beckoning for her to even try. It wasn’t long, maybe only a few seconds had passed, but suddenly the room filled with a soft glow and the shadows that were crawling their way towards her retreated back into their hiding places.

Blinking back the darkness for a few moments Guinevere let her eyes adjust. It always alarmed her how small the room actually was. Does everything else feel so vast and endless in the dark she thought to herself, realizing that the idea never crossed her mind before. How could she not have noticed the immeasurable distance the pitch black brought until now. The time when everything grew further away than they were in reality, when everything including herself was swallowed up. When the spottiness in her vision completely disappeared Guinevere looked up at the man who stood maybe fifteen feet away from her at the base of the steps. She knew that she hadn’t seen him before but something was gnawing away at her subconscious. Maybe it was just the dim light of the room playing tricks on her but she was pretty sure she recognized him from somewhere.

Guinevere continued studying the man. Her eyes scanned him up and down and slowly the recognition crept up her spine. It can’t be. She leaned forwards, her eyes narrowing as she looked even closer at his face. As much as she wished that what she saw was true she knew that it couldn’t possibly be. It couldn’t be him, he had to be an illusion, something her mind created to protect her from the trauma she had experienced. Maybe her memory was failing her. But the man in front of her never changed. His face didn’t melt away and morph into the few she had grown used to, instead its hardness softened in recognition as he also stared back at her.

----------

The plate Jasper was holding fell to the floor and shattered while he tried to slow his breathing. He thought about bending down to pick up the ceramic pieces but his body wouldn’t move, too afraid that if he did he would look up and she’d be gone. She looked the way she did all those years ago and for a second Jasper thought he was staring back at the remnants of a memory but the subtle changes in her appearance were enough to tell him that this was real. She was real. Electric shivers rolled down his spine as he leaned back against the wall for support.

When he had heard that Christian and Alexander had brought back another girl he figured that it was just a random tourist they managed to lure in with the promise of a good time. The annual pear festival had been bumped up this year and Bluehaven was already crawling with people ready to enjoy the festivities. What he didn’t expect was to see her down here. Hell he never expected to see her again. Jasper tried to take deeper breaths before he blacked out. That wasn’t an option at this moment. He had to clear his mind before he did something he would regret later. Yet just the sight of her kept trying to send him over the edge.

He thought about going back upstairs and let the others know that he refused to come back down, but every time he tried to move his body refused to budge. The girl relaxed a bit and she slowly started to pick herself up off the floor. Jasper noticed how dirty she was now and he could feel his anger bubble up in the pit of his stomach. Something about seeing her so disheveled made him so mad. She didn’t deserve this. How could they allow her to look like this, he thought. The voice inside his head kept trying to remind him that they didn’t know her like he did, kept telling him that to them she was just another kill. But the anger he was desperately pushing down boiled over his surface and for a brief moment he felt all his rage leave his body. Everything around him exploded in brilliant white and the last thing he remembered seeing before he passed out was her beautiful face twisted in panic.


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Sat Oct 17, 2020 5:19 pm
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ok so it's been a while since I've read any of this so apologies as I think I've probably forgotten some key plot points. I went back just now and reread chapter seven so I'm up to date to review this one but I'm struggling a bit with working out which character is which.

Is Guinevere supposed to be Ashley? Or was she introduced before and I've just forgotten who she is? A short summary of what's just happened might be a good thing to put at the beginning of your posts because then whoever is reviewing has a bit of backstory :)

Anyway, onto the review of the actual chapter!

He could already see the scattered pear orchards that were the crown glory of Bluehaven dot the landscape around him.

I found this a bit clunky so maybe reshuffle the sentence?

clean up as they went and when he participated in his first kill he was hooked.

I think I'm finding it hard to understand how Jasper feels about the hunting people thing. In the previous sentence you say he's uncomfortable, but he understands and also he's addicted? I think it would be good to make his thoughts/feelings around this a bit clearer.

When he had left he had hoped so desperately that he would never have to return but like all frivolous wishing, he was wrong. Sooner or later the small out amount of money he managed to scrape up slowly dried up and his blackouts grew at an alarming rate. At first he thought he could just power through, find ways to avoid his triggers, but when he started to dream about his father Jasper knew it was time to head home. After about ten minutes of stop and go traffic Jasper finally made the turn off that would lead him to Wolff’s Motel.

You have a lot of big chunks of information in the first section of this chapter - maybe you could spread them out a little bit ore so the reader gets nuggets of information as they go rather than risk them being a bit overwhelmed at the start. Presumably you have a while to tell Jasper's story (unless you're planning on getting rid of him) so you can tell it as you go :)

Tonight Guinevere hoped that it would be the kind older woman, she wanted to ask her all of the questions that kept racing through her head.
Can she really think of her as kind if she's involved in locking her up? Kinder than the others perhaps, but surely still not kind?

How could they allow her to look like this, he thought.

This should be a question. It also might make it clearer to put his thoughts in italics... like this:
How could they allow her to look like this?


Anyway, that's all from me! Jasper certainly is an enigma of a character and I hope we find out more about him in the coming chapters. He doesn't seem to quite fit in here, and he's clearly upset over Guinevere so I wonder what he's going to do about it!

Hope this helped

Icy




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Wed Sep 23, 2020 7:26 pm
xArrows wrote a review...



Arrow here with a review!

wOw this is an interesting story. I really love how you wrote this! It's very detailed and it gives the reader a good picture of what's going on. Everything flows together very well and there was clearly a lot of time, thought and effort put into this.

The very beginning of this chapter captivated me immediately and I was instantly hooked. It was a really interesting start to the chapter, and I love how you wrote it so the reader would be hooked almost in an instant.

I don't see anything wrong with this chapter. I only ask that you keep up the great work!

This was a very, very well written chapter and it's amazing.

I can't wait to see more of your work!

With pawfuls of love,
xArrows




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Tue Sep 15, 2020 4:47 am
EM8650 says...



Hey there.
After reading this i can defiantly say that you have a lot of potential as a writer.
I love the way you both started and ended the chapter. It is a reall good way to keep readers interested and hooked into the story.
Overall well done.





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