z

Young Writers Society


18+ Violence Mature Content

Within my Blood (Chapter 6)

by myjaspercat


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for violence and mature content.

Her hands shook as she picked up the bottle of bourbon that lay half spilled out at her side. She was greedy tonight; sitting upright, she ran her fingers through her tangled hair. Everything about her was a mess, from the brown rats-nest that lay atop her head down to the chipped red toe nail polish. And as her eyes continued to travel over the length of her body, she smirked slightly. Casey was a call girl, plain and simple; her only goal in life was to make money and if she had to let drunken men stumble their way into her pants then she would. It was all she was good at.

Taking another swig of bourbon, Casey flung her legs over the side of the bed, letting them dangle. With each swish back and forth she created a soft breeze that lightened the stuffiness of the motel air. A soft sigh escaped her lips and her chest rose steadily with every breath. Sometimes she wished she didn’t drop out of school and that she went to college. But it was only a dream and like her mother always said ‘dreams are what they are but they can’t change the future.’ Besides, when the money started rolling in and Casey got a taste of it, she was hooked. Now, this job was like a drug to her and she savored it.

A simple knock on the door caused Casey to jolt upright. Odd. There wasn’t supposed to be another customer till later that night. Standing up, Casey stumbled for the bathrobe that lay across one of the dining chairs and fumbled around as she put it on. Another impatient knock. ‘Hold on, my God,’ she exhaled, opening her room door.

“Hey sexy, what can I do for you?” She flicked a lock of hair from her face and purred seductively while leaning against the door jam.

He pushed her slightly, only enough to give room for the door to shut behind them. “Baby, what can I do for you?” Casey asked again, nervously.

But he didn’t reply, only looked at her through the pair of sunglasses that masked his face. Reaching out to her, he stroked her skin, curving his fingers behind an ear. Casey only moved closer, thin-delicate fingers stumbling to unbutton his dark dress shirt. She slid it off his shoulders, slowly, revealing the smoothness of his chest.

-----

She looked at the clock, tapped her foot and looked back down. 11:58, only two more minutes till the bell rang, which meant there were only two minutes until she gave up her dignity for good. That’s ok, it was the last day of school and after today she never planned on seeing any of them again. Especially him.

“Hey Ash, you ok?”

“What, oh yeah. I’m fine.”

“Ok well I was trying to ask what you were doing after school but you seemed pretty spaced out.”

“Sorry, I guess I have a lot on my mind.”

Ashley looked at the clock again and sucked in, 11:59. It was time to do it, her final chance. By this point people had already started to gather their things and crowded the door. It was the last day for seniors, and Ashley wanted to make a point not only to her friends but also to herself. Gathering her things together as well, she slung her bag over her shoulder and pushed her way to the front of the room, where he stood talking with friends.

“Jasper, can I say something to you really quick?”

The room fell silent, people turned their heads to look at the soft spoken girl who laughed too often at the wrong times. The girl who tended to keep to herself until her friends forced her out of her shell, the kind of girl who would never talk to someone like Jasper.

Ashley stood straighter and looked him in the eyes. He was watching her, an amused smile playing on the corner of his lips.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you since the first week of school and since I don’t plan on ever seeing you again after today I feel like it’s the perfect time to tell you,” she bit her lip cutting off the word vomit she knew was spewing out of her mouth. It was a nervous habit she’d tried to break multiple times over and yet could never seem to get a grip on, “well um…” she continued a little less confidently than before.

Everyone was watching her now. In-fact a few people had even pulled out a couple cell phones here and there. No doubt recording the tragically embarrassing scene that was about to go down.

“See like, you’re fairly attractive… or well, very attractive, and um I’m aware that you’re close to being in a relationship with this other girl but-”Ashley stopped and took a deep breath in. Her heart was pounding, she felt like she was going to vomit and yet she started to feel this fire burn its way through her body. “I’ve had this thing for you all year and I couldn’t graduate and leave without telling you because I knew if I did it would leave this emptiness inside me.”

Taking another breath in, Ashley continued, “that said, there’s also something that I wanna do and before you go and get mad I just want to-”

Suddenly Ashley felt the pressure of someone else’s lips on hers and in shock she shot her arm out, her fist connecting squarely with Jasper’s chest. With an oof she could feel the soft tickle of his breath on her neck as he kissed her, equally as startled to the sudden punch in the gut. Yet he continued to kiss her, softly at first but then with a great need, and she kissed him back. When he pulled away, her face resembled her feelings that were slowly turning inside her.

“I-I-I- I don’t know what to say,” she stammered.

Heat had already rushed to her face and dusted her cheeks in subtle pink. Then, out of nowhere, she felt this urge inside her, guiding her. Slowly she stood straighter and crossed her arms over her chest. A coy smile tugged at her lips and she looked Jasper in the eyes.

“You know that’s what I was supposed to do.” She whined, releasing an exasperated sigh. “I mean come on, you took away the whole punchline, no pun intended.”

She looked at her fist which was back at the same spot on his chest that she struck moments before. “See I had this whole cliché plan of confessing my undying love for you then I’d kiss you and walk out of the door, leaving you to eat my dust, but you had to go and ruin the entire thing with your -your impatience.”

Ashley stopped talking and stood there waiting, one fist still on Jasper’s chest and the other wrapped carefully around her waist. Jasper just watched her until she stopped talking and then he chuckled softly and met her eyes.

“You know,” he said, “if you really want to, you could go through that little rant again and kiss me and I’d promise to act like I never expected it coming,” he teased.

The heat returned to her cheeks and Ashley looked down. “Nope. I’m good.”

“Awe how come?” Pretend hurt filling Jasper’s voice.

“Because I’m a salty bitch.” She mumbled back.

Carefully, Jasper reached one hand up and cupped the bottom of Ashley’s chin, lifting her face to meet her eyes. Leaning in until they were only a mere inch or two apart. Jasper spoke softly, his eyes never leaving hers, “well, then I guess it’s a good thing I like a little salt,” he whispered before closing the distance between them.

This time the kiss didn’t start off soft, it was deep and rough and filled with all the desire, patience and want that the two had kept bottled in for so long. Her fist unclenched until her hand rested gently on his chest and they kissed each other until they had to break away for air. It was like all time had stopped and they were the only two left in the world.

-----

His fingers explored her body, hovering very slightly up and down her naked skin until they stopped above her trembling stomach. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned forward and kissed her, with soft little kisses that made the hair on the back of her neck stand at attention. A chill ran down her spine and she arched her back from the cold pressing herself against the rough fabric of his jeans. He smiled, happy to know that he got some form of reaction out of her. It was easy, and he knew it, women only really wanted one thing. His kisses started to travel north, moving ever so slightly up her front until his lips locked with her left nipple. There he rested, flicking his tongue back and forth.

The whore underneath him started to moan, her breath reeking of alcohol. He couldn’t quite understand why he continued to put up with these women, they were always the same and they sickened him equally, but he knew that if he didn’t get his fix he would continue to crave. Jasper moved his hands down her body again, caressing her skin with his fingertips. He really wanted to get up and wash his hands because touching her made him feel so dirty.

“Mmm, baby let me please you.” The whore moaned, pushing herself up so she was face to face with him.

Jasper just shrugged, rolling over until he was laying on the motel bed. The whore climbed on top of him, her tits in his face. She giggled as she shimmed her way down his body, her fingers fumbling with the buttons on his pants. He just watched her, his eyes lingering on the bare skin of her throat. Her skin was soft, he knew that much, but her throat glistened with beads of sweat and he ached to feel his hands around it. Without realizing it Jasper grabbed her hips, his fingernails digging into her skin. He pulled her body closer to his and leaned forwards just enough to burrow his nose into the crook of her neck. Breathing in he could smell the dirt on her skin and the cologne of the other men she had slept with. He inhaled again, closing his eyes, this time catching the slightest hint of shampoo. How sweet it was to smell her.

“Are you having a good time baby?”

Jasper looked at the whore. She was staring at him now, fluttering her eyelids and licking her bottom lip as if it was somehow supposed to entice him. He looked back at her neck, the glisten of her sweat still pulling him in.

“Yes, I’m having a wonderful time,” he grumbled. Kissing her on the lips to hopefully avoid any more distracting questions.

It seemed to work well enough because next thing he knew she was moving her way down to his groin again and he had settled his gaze back to her neck. He moved his hands up her body, the tips of his middle fingers brushing her skin softly while his nails grazed behind. Looking down at her head bent over his body he moved his hands around her neck, thumbs pressing into the softness of the skin around her larynx. Jasper could feel her heartbeat now, the repetitive thumping melting into the palms of his hands. His own heartbeat was beginning to speed up now. Grip tightening Jasper pulled the whore closer to him, gagging her. She looked up at him eyes wide as she released him from her mouth, drool dripping down her chin.

“Oww baby you’re hurting me,” she whined trying to flutter her eyelids at him again.

“Shut up whore.”

Jasper let go of her neck with one hand and struck her, a clear outline of his hand staining her cheek with a loud wallop. The whore cried, grabbing her face and scrambling off of him. She stumbled her way towards the motel room door, her ass jiggling in her haste. Jasper got up off the bed, pulling his pants up and buttoning them. He moved between her and the door, pushing the whore back against the bed. Watching her, a cruel smile crept its way across his lips, pulling back over his teeth.

Casey held her face as she desperately shuffled her way away from the man who was blocking her only means of escape. Her skin stung terribly and she could already feel her face starting to swell from the sudden impact. Casey’s heart raced against her ribcage and she could feel tears lump up in the corners of her eyes. She scanned the room looking for something she could use as a weapon. Yet all there was around her were dirty clothes and empty liquor bottles. Fucking great. Casey looked back at the man who now started moving towards her, his smile twisted her stomach even more. He looked almost feline, predatory, and it awakened a fear in her that she didn’t even know she had.

“Why are you doing this? Please stop, you don’t even have to pay me for tonight, just please stop.” Casey tried to beg the man but something inside of her told her that her begging was pointless.

“I said shut up!”The man roared, balling his hands into fists.

He took another step towards her before he reached down and grabbed her hair in his hands. With an abrupt yank Casey was standing on her feet. Tears rolled down her cheeks abundantly now and she started to claw her way out of the man’s grip. Nails gripped flesh and Casey scratched at the man’s arms as she started to scream as loudly as she could. She just needed to draw attention. It was pointless though and she knew that. This particular motel was well known for its after hours services and most people just turned a blind eye. God why was she so stupid. She knew she wasn’t supposed to get another john until later in the evening so why did she have to open that damn door.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did ok, just let me fucking go,” she screamed. Her nails dug deeper into his skin and by now Casey could feel his blood bubble up around her fingers.

“You know what you did! You taint the streets every night with your harrowing practice and now you must be cleansed of your sins.”

With one swift jerk Casey found herself flying through the air and into the dresser across the room. Her breath was knocked from her lungs and her entire body screamed in pain. She coughed, blood speckleing the inside of her mouth. The man walked over towards her again and this time leaned in, his fingers finding their original position on her neck. Casey kicked. She kicked until she could no longer kick and then she just lay there, her heart racing and vision growing foggy. She could feel her breathing slow down and every muscle in her body grew ten times as heavy.

“Please,” she tried to whisper before everything went dark.

Jasper looked down at the whore. She was covered in scrapes from the broken dresser and her eyes were bloodshot from the lack of oxygen. He sat back on the heels of his feet and admired his handy work. Her naked body already started to turn a slight shade of gray. She was beautiful, he could see that now but he didn’t let that fact get to him, he did what was right. She was a whore and she only continued to poison the streets with her unholy acts. Reaching up Jasper brushed the clumps of sweaty hair from her face, his fingers tracing the curves of her cheeks and her lips. He leaned down and kissed her, his lips trembling against hers. This was always his favorite part and he wanted to cherish this moment for however long he could.

Quietly he stood up and went to his bag that he had tossed on the table when he first pushed his way into the motel. It was only luck that he happened to stumble upon her and her last client earlier in the evening and after following her to this run-down piece of shit he knew that she was the one. Rummaging inside for a second he found what he was looking for. Walking back over to the whore Jasper whispered a quiet prayer to himself, the blade of his knife glistening in the moonlight. By this time it had started to rain, a soft pitter-patter falling softly all around him outside.

He brushed her hair again, letting his fingers wander past her face and to her breasts. One palm down he leaned over her body before plunging the knife into the center of her chest. Blood instantly began to pool itself, it’s warmth already subdued due to the lack of a beating heart. He stabbed her again, this time much harder. Every ounce of anger he had released into the final object of his obsession. He had to get it out of her. It was the only way she could ever be redeemed for her sins. 

[A/N: I'm aware that this content for the chapter is a bit more mature, that's why I gave it the rating I did. If you ignore the rating and read this chapter and then complain about the content of the chapter then I'm not going to pay attention. I appreciate all constructive criticism I get but I did let people know about the mature content and I really don't want to read about how that is an issue.]


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Fri Jun 19, 2020 1:52 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi,

Did I miss chapter 5? I was looking for it under your related items but can't see it there...
I'm going to treat this as a continuation from the previous chapter, but please forgive me if that isn't the case!

I do get a little confused with all the new characters you introduce in these chapters. Maybe you could title each section with their name in bold, so it's clear to the reader and makes it easier to follow. That would also solve the issue where you switch between characters without warning, and help to segment the story a little!

This is super dark though, perhaps put your warning at the beginning rather than the end.

A simple knock on the door caused Casey to jolt upright. Odd. There wasn’t supposed to be another customer till later that night. Standing up, Casey stumbled for the bathrobe that lay across one of the dining chairs and fumbled around as she put it on. Another impatient knock. ‘Hold on, my God,’ she exhaled, opening her room door.

I feel like this is rather abrupt, and perhaps you could lengthen the introduction to Casey a little. This would make it even more shocking as to what happens to her in this chapter because the reader is more likely to be invested in her as a character.

She looked at the clock, tapped her foot and looked back down. 11:58, only two more minutes till the bell rang, which meant there were only two minutes until she gave up her dignity for good. That’s ok, it was the last day of school and after today she never planned on seeing any of them again. Especially him.

Again, this is where I think the naming the character who is speaking would help. But it really helps that you've separated the sections out this time :)

She whined, releasing an exasperated sigh. “I mean come on, you took away the whole punchline, no pun intended.”

I'm not sure what the pun is supposed to be here...

Hmm, I wonder what happened to Ashley! She and Jasper seem happy but clearly things did not work out or he wouldn't' be where he is at the end of the chapter...

The gore and violence still isn't my thing, but I can appreciate that you've done it well here. I think the big thing you may have issues with going forward is the amount of jumping between characters that happens, with not much space in between. It can create a bit of a jarring feel and means it's harder to really get into the story. It's not too much of an issue when reading one chapter on its own, but I can imagine that it would get tiring if reading bigger chunks of the novel.


Hope this review was of some help! Have a great weekend :)

Icy




myjaspercat says...


Thank you so much for your reviews!! No you didn't miss anything. Chapter 5 currently does not exist in my world, rip. I've rewrote it so many times I decided it was time for a break. However when I do end up writing it I will let you know. I appreciate all the time you spent!



IcyFlame says...


Ah ok, thanks for clarifying, I didn't want to skip anything



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Mon Jun 08, 2020 6:33 am
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keystrings wrote a review...



Hello! I figured I would keep reading this story, but this chapter was definitely in its own league of dark/creepy themes. Having more of Jasper makes me a bit confused as previously the reader had only been getting his backstories as "flashbacks" since they were formatted with italics, but I'll get more into that later.

Wow, this was an unexpected chapter, starting with the fact that it starts with another new character, Casey. I find her view a curious one, as it's rather short, but tells a decent amount of who she is - turning towards the "call girl" profession, as she describes it, and always being ready to meeting with a customer, even if a stranger shows up at her room in-between the correct or expected time. I haven't read too many horror/murder stories, but I do suggest that giving view points of someone who is going to die in the same chapter might not be the best way to connect with your readers.

I'm now even more interested and confused a bit by the inner section of this, between Ash and Jasper, as it seems like this is back in high school, but we're still not given much information at all about how many years separate the past and the future. They seem kind of like cute teenagers here though, and seem more innocently in love/like with each other and not the murdery kind that we see later in this chapter with Jasper. Just what happens with these two, or at least what happens to this guy to turn into someone so seemingly uncaring towards others? Hm.

The ending is what I expected, and it was violent, but the details fit the tone of this story so far and fit the warnings. Yikes to Jasper gladly killing someone simply doing their job, and he claimed he was doing the right thing. That is a chilling character description for someone, and I'm looking forward to seeing what else happens with him and the other murder family.





And then, as if written by the hand of a bad novelist, an incredible thing happened.
— Bartimaeus of Uruk