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It ended at Midnight -Chapter 14

by myjaspercat


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Jack

I stared at my mate in utter shock, I could not believe I just did that. Hell, I couldn't believe I said that to her. I looked at her cowering body as I tried to reel my wolf’s anger in. He was absolutely pissed that she hit us and so was I but at least I could empathize with her unlike him. When she hit us I was shocked but I understood where she was coming from. I never should have grabbed her the way I did but I didn’t think she was listening to what I was trying to say. I just wanted to keep her there a little longer so I could find a better way of explaining it. My wolf on the other hand was raging inside my mind, he wanted to show her how powerful we could actually be.

“How dare you let that little girl disrespect us like that.” He hissed, emphasizing ‘little girl.’

“She’s our mate.” I reasoned.

“Mate or not Jack, we’re the most feared Alpha around, it’s demeaning to be treated like such. We must show her that she is to fear us and respect us.”

“No.”

I clenched my hands into fists, pulling them as tight against my body as I could. I refused to let my wolf hurt her. She was already petrified based off of the looks she was giving me and I was pretty sure I could see tears in the corners of her eyes. My heart broke. How could I stand here and face her now and try to tell her that she was my absolute world. There was no way she would believe me. I had done the one thing I always promised I would never do when I found my mate. I let my wolf free. I could feel the anger lessen as I tried to steady my breathing. I needed to get out of here. I had to give her space. So without another word I turned around and walked away. It took everything in me to move my feet and I could feel the tether that signified our bond tremble.

As soon as I reached the treeline and I was sure I was out of sight of my mate I let the anger bubble back up inside me until it exploded and my wolf broke free. Goddess I really hoped she hadn’t tried to follow me, I didn’t want to scare her any more than I was sure I already did. My senses shifted with the change and everything became suddenly clearer. I could hear her crying back where I left her. Good, it was best she was there and I was here. In this state I don’t think I could hold my wolf back from harming her. I shook my head. I had to stop thinking about it before I involuntarily turned around and went back to her and let my wolf do what he was itching to do.

Instead I let myself stretch before breaking out into a sprint. Running in the opposite direction of my crying mate and as far from the pack house as I could get. The trees whipped around me and I let the fresh air fill my lungs as I ran as fast as I could. Everything was so complicated now, there was no way I would be able to ever get her to trust me. I wouldn’t be surprised at this point if she had run off by the time I got home. How could I have been so damn stupid.

“Stupid? Don’t be ridiculous Jack. She needs to know who we are. She needs to respect us, if you ask my opinion, you didn’t do half of what needed to be done back there.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t ask. Nor do I agree with it at this moment.”

I huffed. There was no getting through to my wolf and I knew it. He was as stubborn as I was, if not moreso. Instead I pushed him away enough until I could no longer hear his voice. I couldn’t deal with him right now. I had to clear my head so I could go home and talk to Melody and try to make things right. She needed to know how much I regretted snapping at her. It was then that I also decided to shut out the rest of my pack, I knew Luke and Morgan could handle things for a little while. I wanted to be absolutely distraction free. My paws pounded the earth as I sprinted deeper into the forest, leaving my emotions and thoughts behind me.

I don’t know when I made it back to the packhouse but it was late. The sun was beginning to set and the night air cooled my sweaty skin. Casually tugging on a pair of shorts as I walked back through the private entrance that serviced the guest quarters I took a deep breath. Part of me was really hoping to pick up Melody’s scent, maybe she would be back in my study enjoying her book. But I knew before I even walked through the door that she was no longer there. Her scent was faded and this part of the house felt cold and empty. I shook my head though as I hurried to the room I gave her, refusing to believe that she was actually gone. I knew I messed up badly but she had to be here. She had to have felt our bond, even if she truly didn’t know what it meant and stayed.

The second I reached her bedroom door I faltered, my hand resting shakily on the doorknob. She wasn’t there. I didn’t have to even look, but I did anyway. Nothing. It was empty like I had suspected. A growl escaped my throat as I stepped into the room frustrated. How could she do this to me? To us. Grabbing a pillow off the bed I shoved my nose into it in an attempt to inhale as much of her scent as I could. I wanted to stop the rage that was beginning to coarse through my blood again. My wolf scraped at my mind, I still had him blocked out and I could feel him trying to claw his way back to the surface. Frustrated I threw the pillow, admittedly harder than I intended, and watched as it knocked the vase of flowers off the dresser.

The sound of the glass shattering on the floor filled me with a sickened sense of satisfaction and I grabbed the closest thing I could find and threw it as hard as I could to the mirror. A loud crack and slowly I watched the clear image of myself distort into a million spiderwebbed pieces. Perfect. Now the rest of the world could see who I really was. Nothing but a broken man who fucked up. Another growl ripped from my throat and I fled the room before I could find something else to destroy. It was what I was good at, destruction. I had proved it too many times on the battlefield for my liking and now I destroyed the one thing that should never have been broken. Goddess save me.

My feet carried me to my room before I could realize where I was going. Locking the door behind me I made my way over to the bar cart in the corner, if I couldn’t talk to Melody and explain everything better then I may as well get drunk enough to forget her. My father taught me long ago that there was no use in dwelling on things that should be better off left alone and that’s what she was. She was a child who was better off without me. But that trembling tether of bond lingered in my mind and the whiskey only seemed to reinforce it, so like any man trying to avoid his actions I poured myself another glass. Then another, until I had emptied the bottle. Time moves quicker when you're drunk and when I looked out the window the moon had already started to arrange itself into the sky.

Getting off the floor where I had unknowingly settled myself I stumbled over to the bar cart looking for something else to drown myself into. Unfortunately I found nothing. Great, now I was truly alone with my thoughts. What the hell was happening to me, why couldn’t I get over myself. If she had been anyone else I would have let my wolf out so he could reestablish his dominance. But Melody, my sweet Melody, she made it so hard to reign him in and balance us out. I had to find her again. I needed to tell her I was sorry. The anger I felt earlier made me shudder. I clenched the glass so hard in my hands it shattered, glass lodging itself into the flesh of my palm. Damint. This girl was going to be the death of me, I thought as I let my wolf in just enough to start chucking things around the room. 


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Mon Jun 19, 2023 9:58 am
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Oof it's been a long old time since I read any of these chapters and quite honestly I can't remember where we got up to!

I just went back only to discover I'd only reviewed the first chapter, so I've just read all the others to catch me up to this point. I have many overall thoughts, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to cover most of them off in this review (and if not, I see you've posted two additional chapters so I'll get to those too).

The time jumps in this are a little confusing, and I can't quite follow the rationale for having two chapters in between this one and the one where Melody hit Jack. It does help to have a view of what else is going on (especially with Veronica and Elizabeth) but it meant that the start of this chapter was a bit disorientating, because it reads like we're right back in that scene again. Maybe Jack could be recalling it rather than us starting back there?

I'd also like a bit more consistency with the inner wolf voice. Am I right in thinking Melody's speaks in italics? I think that's a nice way to show it's a voice inside her head, and would be good to continue with for Jack too. As I write this I'm now thinking it might have just been the Goddess who spoke in italics, but I'm not clear on who she is vs the inner wolf voice xD

Also in terms of plot development, this seems pretty quick:

I had done the one thing I always promised I would never do when I found my mate.

They've had what, like three interactions? I'd like to see some earlier reference to Jack being angry but promising himself he'd never be like this with his mate to make this point seem a little more relevant.

How could she do this to me? To us.

This back and forth is a bit much. He wouldn't blame her for leaving, he needs to explain better and then he's mad when he thinks she has left because he doesn't know how she could do this to him? Does he think she feels the pull towards him as he does to her? That could explain why he can't understand her leaving, but it would be useful to have reference to this to help bring the reader on the journey.

I think mostly I'm just struggling to buy into his motivations. He swings back and forth between anger and love and whilst I get that it's an inherent part of him I can't help but feel that both ways the reactions to this situation are a bit excessive. I'd like to see him having had more interaction with Melody before he gets to this point so he has a more justifiable reason when he's spiraling out.

Hope this was helpful!

See you for chapter 15 :)

Icy




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Sun Jun 04, 2023 11:57 pm
MerleBlackbird wrote a review...



You have some great description, an excellent pace, and reasonable characters. Jack is pitiable. He has a violent personality that he tries (unsuccessfully) to control. Despite his violence and breaking of random things, I like his character because he genuinely wants to be different, however impossible that may be at the moment. I get the impression there is more to him deep down, and he has untapped potential to be a better werewolf.

Now here are some things you might consider working on:
1. This relationship-to-be is not very believable and not as compelling as it could be. From chapter 14, Jack is presented as out of control, violent, demeaning, and overly dominant. Aside from his status (one Melody does not seem particularly interested in) he has rather little to offer. Jack needs to try a little harder (and by that, I mean a lot) to be deserving of any kind of affectionate relationship at all. He has a long way to go, and until he gets there, I'm not buying into romance for Jack.

2. This is the only chapter I've read, and already this story seems full of cliches. Cliches are cliches for a reason of course (they work heh heh) so I would not avoid them just because, but you also don't want a story that seems like a serial copy. Here are some things I've seen a LOT of times in werewolf stories that you might consider avoiding: A. Bad tempered guy is cured by the girl/finds his gentle side through her B. Alpha-guy x low class citizen, alpha-guy is shocked/horrified when he finds out who his mate is C. Girl hates alpha-guy's guts until she is unwillingly charmed by him physically D. Alpha-guy first expresses "affection" by being overly protective/jealous/abusive E. That queen-bee stereotype who thinks she's destined for the alpha, has a following of minion-people, is awful to the female lead, and will eventually be humiliated F. First person writing with switching POVs every chapter

Take or leave as you please, and I'd be happy to answer any questions! Keep up the hard work! :)




myjaspercat says...


Thank you for the review!! I actually find it funny that you're one of the first people to actually bring up the cliche's following werewolf stories. Infact I originally started this novel as kind of a "parody" novel. I told my sister that I could write half as good and follow those tropes and people would still find it good. Unfortunately, I actually fell in love with the characters and the world I was creating so It's kind of become a passion project. I'm working on making it better as I continue and eventually I will go through and rewrite/edit the beginning to make it less cliche.




I say, in matters of the heart, treat yo' self.
— Donna, Parks & Rec