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It ended at Midnight -Chapter 11

by myjaspercat

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.


The second I stepped outside I could smell the freshness of the world around me. It must have rained recently because the grass under my feet was damp and it wasn’t until now that I realized I wasn’t wearing any shoes. Curling my toes into the earth beneath them I took a deep breath in. It was nice. I had been cooped up in that house for far too long and it was almost freeing to be outside. For a split second the thought of taking off running crossed my mind. I wasn’t positive how far behind me the man was but I was pretty sure I could at least make it to the tree line before he was out here with me. At least if I made it there I could try and find somewhere to hide before he caught up to me.

“It’s a dumb decision Melody.”

I gasped, the sound barely making it past my lips as I took a step back. I forgot for a minute that I had completely lost my fucking mind the night of my birthday. The voice wrapped itself around the edges of my mind gently and I tried desperately to untangle it.

“We’ve been over this Melody, you’re not crazy my child. Now stop thinking such ridiculous things.”

“Who are you?” I asked, taking another step closer to the tree line. My legs felt weaker with every step I took and it caused me to back up a little. Whatever happened to me on my birthday was happening again and it made me scared. First I go crazy, then I run into a stranger in the middle of nowhere at night and he takes me back to wherever the hell this is and now I’m going crazy again. What the ever living fuck.

“Melody, child please. Turn around now, our mate is coming.” The voice caressed my brain, her sweetness tickling my mind.

“Mate, what the hell do you mean mate. Why does everyone seem to be throwing around that damn word all of a sudden.”

“Uh Melody, who are you talking to my dear?”

I spun around on the balls of my feet, startled. Again I let this man just come up behind me without realizing it and I internally scolded myself. I used to be so good at being aware of my surroundings. Something about being here was really starting to fuck up my brain. The man stood just outside the door to the hallway where the office and my room had been located and he looked nervous. His weight shifted from one foot to the other and he tucked his hands into the pockets of his admittedly well fitting jeans. I just stared at him trying to fully size him up. There was no way I would be able to make it to the tree line now with him there. I could still smell that warm chocolatey pine scent that seemed to follow him everywhere but it was lessened by the fresh air. Part of me wanted to ask him what kind of cologne it was but I refrained. It was a stupid question.

“You said you wanted to talk.” I said in an attempt to distract myself from his smell. “So talk. I’m listening.”

The man took a couple steps towards me then stopped. I couldn’t tell if he was debating how to approach the subject or not but it was starting to drive me a little crazy. I wanted answers. I wanted to know why he brought me out here. I wanted more than what he was giving me and I think he knew that too somehow because right when I was about to say something more he spoke.

“I know this is going to sound crazy but that voice inside your head is your wolf. She’s trying to speak to you, you just have to let her in. I have one too, all of us in BlueHaven have one. It’s what makes us werewolves, it’s how we communicate.”

I choked a little while I stifled a laugh. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “What do you mean werewolves? Werewolves aren’t real.”

“They are, we are. We live our lives out here in the middle of the Bone Forest as far away from your tiny human town as possible in order to avoid detection but I can assure you Melody we are real. You are one of us.”

“One of you? How can I be one of you? I have no idea what you are freaking talking about.”

“That night in the forest, I could smell your wolf Melody. I don’t know why you can’t sense it but you’re just like me. Hell you’re destined to be my Goddess given mate, it’s how I knew your name. It’s how I was able to stop my wolf from ripping your throat out.” The man grumbled the last line and part of me was left wondering if I heard him correctly. “Listen Melody, I know this all seems rather crazy but-”

“Crazy? You’re damn right it sounds crazy.” I choked back a scream as my voice rose. I couldn’t be hearing him right, there was no way he just said what I thought he said. Werewolves. Yeah right, as if.

“I don’t know how you didn’t already know all of this, seeing as you’re one of us but Melody please calm down. You look like you’re going to faint.”

I could feel heat rush to my face and I turned around so I could try and catch my breath without him staring at me. This couldn’t be happening to me. All of this had to be some kind of big cosmic joke. I mean Veronica literally was just laughing in my face about my obsession with Twilight. I bet she had hired this dude to abduct me and get her point across. For god sake this was the real world. I knew that everything I read was pure fantasy, no way I was stupid enough to believe it. But he looked serious when he told me everything. Maybe he was crazy too.

“Look, uh whatever your name is-”

“Jack. My name is Jack.”

“Yeah ok whatever. Look Jack, I appreciate the fact that you didn’t let me like freeze to death or anything the other night but I can’t be a part of this,” I stopped and threw my arms up. “Whatever this is. I just want to go home okay.”

I watched him run his fingers through his hair, a groan escaping his lips. I could tell I was frustrating him, hell he was frustrating me. I left my arms up in an attempt to get my point across yet he still didn’t see what I was saying. Didn’t or wouldn’t I couldn’t quite tell. I sighed, taking a couple steps towards him. This seemed to get his attention because his eyes shot to mine and we held each other's gaze for a few moments before he spoke again.

“Melody please. I know this is difficult to understand and I’m really trying to make it as simple as possible but you have to listen to me.” He pleaded, his eyes searching mine.

“Listen to you, why would I ever listen to someone who sounds so damn ridiculous. I don’t know what kinda drugs you’re taking out here in the middle of the woods but I’m tired of this childish run around.” I replied as I tried to take a step around him. I had to get out of here and back to my own crazy family.

He stopped me however, his hand curling around my arm and gently tugging me back. That one action sent me spiraling. I could feel the same anger I felt on my birthday rise up inside me and make my vision blur a little. How dare he grab me. Kidnap me under the guise that it was for my own good fine. Spin a tale of werewolves and mates and whatever bullshit he wanted to I could deal with but I refused to sit here and let him jerk me around anymore. Without thinking I spun on the balls of my feet, raised a fist in the air and let go. My hand connected with the side of his face in a loud thwap and I was pretty sure I broke a couple bones.

The air grew heavy around us as I watched Jack try to regain his composure, his face turning a million different shades of red.

“I brought you here because you’re my damn mate!” He inhumanly roared, his body shaking. For the briefest moment I swore his eyes gleamed a brighter shade of yellow. Causing me to flinch back in fear. “Now I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt you but I swear to the Goddess Melody if you ever do something like that again I don’t think I could hold him back anymore.”

Tears started to threaten their way out the corners of my eyes and I cradled my throbbing hand. The anger that seeped from him now burned me as if I could feel its heat as clearly as one could feel fire lick at their skin. I cowered where I stood, too afraid to try and leave again. He just looked at me, his eyes fading back to their original dark green and even further to black before he turned around and walked away himself. Leaving me there in the middle of the clearing all alone. 

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659 Reviews

Points: 82352
Reviews: 659

Mon Mar 13, 2023 1:50 pm
RandomTalks wrote a review...


RandomTalks here with a short review!

General impressions:

Well, I guess that went as well as could be expected under the circumstances. And here I had been hoping that Jack would handle this interaction a little more senitively than their previous ones, especially since a lot is riding on whether Melody decides to believe him or not. I guess we all have our own shortcomings.

Narration and Description:

Despite the disastrous conversation between the two of them, I surprisingly enjoyed this chapter very much! It felt perfectly balanced to me in terms of narration, plot and character evolution (even though Jack's growth kind of detoriated here). I enjoyed the description in the beginning and the narration near the end. Your inclusion of Melody's random thoughts made us feel more connected to the story and in turn, more connected to her. For example:

It must have rained recently because the grass under my feet was damp and it wasn’t until now that I realized I wasn’t wearing any shoes.

Here, realizing that she wasn't wearing shoes was a rather random discovery. But the thought connects with the description, helps establish a setting and gives us a glimpse of Melody's easy connection with nature. It also implies that after everything that has happened, shoes are a very trivial matter and Melody cannot concern herself with such trivial matters at the moment. It can also be seen as Melody embracing her own nature and desire for freedom without realizing it.

Part of me wanted to ask him what kind of cologne it was but I refrained. It was a stupid question.

This was another random and weird thought to have in that moment, especially considering that she knew they were going to have an important discussion that would finally provide her with some answers. Yet, thoughts and observations like these make the narration feel more personal and at the same time, they make us realize that she is only a teenager and is not used to all of this. Therefore, instead of coming across as weird, it made me smile stupidly because, well, it was a stupid thing to wonder about in that moment.


Coming to the characters, I really liked Melody in this chapter. I like how almost all her extreme reactions (like her punching Jack when he grabbed her) are guided by the disturbing relationhip she shares with her family. Her anger, her insecurities - all arise from there and I really like the fact that you keep acknowledging it in every chapter. Her actions and reactions here were very believable and I enjoyed watching her take charge of her life once again. Despite all the confusion and the extraordinary circumstances , we got a glimpse of her previous fire and it made us empathize with her even more. I don't think I would have reacted any differently had I been in her situation.

Now, Jack really messed up in this chapter. He was insensitive and kind of arrogant and impossible to deal with. And yet, at the same time, I can understand where he is coming from. He is a leader - he is used to issuing orders and people simply following them because of his status. He is not used to explaining his actions or showing patience and understanding - its a shortcoming that has been glaringly evident in the last two chapters. Therefore, when it came to Melody, he just knew that he wanted her on her side and did not care about how he would achieve that or whether she would even want to be on his side. He is looking after his own interests and is forgetting that all of this is ridiculously absurd to Melody, just as it would be for anyone who is not one of their own.

Therefore, info dumping on Melody or dropping in the fact that she is his mate and is a werewolf herself was probably not the way to warm her up to the truth of her identity. And expecting her to react in any other way after handling the situation so callously was a rather ridiculous on his part. He was frustrated, but mostly because he was not getting his way and his ending comment really infuriated me. He did not act his age in this chapter, and I am really interested to see how he makes up for it.


This was an intense and entertaining chapter. I felt as though I was with the charcaters at all points and it made for a genuinely good reading experience. I especially loved the ending where we could feel Melody's overwhelming emotions, the hurt and anger and confusion she felt - great writing in that part! I am excited to see where the characters go from here!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!

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461 Reviews

Points: 6251
Reviews: 461

Sun Jan 29, 2023 5:09 pm
Horisun wrote a review...

Hello, and Happy Review Day!

I'm not exactly surprised at how horribly their first interaction went, but I must admit, I am disappointed in Jacks conduct here. If he's going to redeem himself, he needs some sense knocked into him, stat!

Currently, I really like Melody. She's been through so much crap already, and she isn't going to take anymore! I hope she continues to maintain her agency in later chapters.

However, while I once suspected there to be a romance between the two, I'm worried that Jack is veering towards a level of unlikable that he can't pull back from. I would recommend toning down his anger and righteousness. This line rubbed me the wrong way-

(...)if you ever do something like that again I don’t think I could hold him back anymore.

-like, he's literally threatening her! I get that she punched him, but sheesh, not a good way to kick off a relationship!

I say all this under the assumption that your intention is to have them get together, because right now, I'm cheering for Melody to get away from him. I think Melody is a great character, and deserves better than this dude.

All in all though, this was a very solid chapter. As always, you use great descriptive language that invokes emotion. I particularly liked how you described the setting in the opening introduction-

It must have rained recently because the grass under my feet was damp and it wasn’t until now that I realized I wasn’t wearing any shoes. Curling my toes into the earth beneath them I took a deep breath in.

-I also really liked how you described Melody's emotions in the final paragraph-

Tears started to threaten their way out the corners of my eyes and I cradled my throbbing hand. The anger that seeped from him now burned me as if I could feel its heat as clearly as one could feel fire lick at their skin.

All this is to say, you're a great writer! I just hope to see Jack get his just deserts in the coming chapters.

So, keep on writing, and Happy Review Day! :D

My one true aspiration in life is to make it into the quote gen.
— avianwings47