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Anti-sonnet

by mordax


Man writes sonnets about love
Calls passion, poetry
Words freed like a wedding dove
Look closer, and it's bigotry

We're told it's love, it's truly lust
Sweet words of superficiality
We crave and label desire a "must"
A need for sensuality

I refuse to write a sonnet of love
For does such poetry exist?
I strive to rise above
The lust poetry insists

I wrote hoping to cut through frivolity
But this is a sonnet, so I suppose I fell into homogeny


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2243 Reviews


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Fri Sep 03, 2021 12:04 pm
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!! Just a quick disclaimer, I don't usually review poetry, this is for the checklist challenge so, I'm going to try my best to interpret this as I see it and tell you how I felt reading it. :D

Anyway let's get right to it,

Man writes sonnets about love
Calls passion, poetry
Words freed like a wedding dove
Look closer, and it's bigotry


Okay...wow that looks to be straight up calling out the people who write sonnets about love and I suppose more specifically the ones that men tend to write about the beauty of woman and such...and it looks like here you state that that's something that can be concerned bigotry...definitely not the kind of twist you expect to see and it certainly made me laugh here.

We're told it's love, it's truly lust
Sweet words of superficiality
We crave and label desire a "must"
A need for sensuality


Hmm, well we're continuing on that same point here, it seems to very clearly label those sonnets for what they're truly meant to according to this person and honestly I wouldn't exactly argue with that point either, I'm totally agreeing here.

I refuse to write a sonnet of love
For does such poetry exist?
I strive to rise above
The lust poetry insists


And so it looks like this person refuses to write such a sonnet, although I suppose not sonnets by themselves, mostly because this poem itself is supposed to be a sonnet, it looks like one certainly, I've no idea what the exact syllable counts are meant to be though.

I wrote hoping to cut through frivolity
But this is a sonnet, so I suppose I fell into homogeny


Okay...so I suppose this is the part why this one falls into the humor category. That is pretty much a punchline right there as this person realizes the irony of the fact that their attempt to cut through the prevalence of those other sonnets is being done through one of those sonnets.

Well this was a pretty fun poem here, not only does it manage to be funny, it also is a bit though provoking, two qualities that I think are great for a poem to have. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Wed Sep 01, 2021 8:05 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Mordax!

I am certainly not the best when it comes to reviewing poetry, so bear with me through this.

I think this was a really amazing poem with a really amazing concept. First of all, I agree with you one hundred percent. Poems are often romanticized to an extent that the line between love and lust becomes not only blurry, but also non existent after a point of time. We often exaggerate in poetry to bring the right emotion so that the readers can take that and wonder over it for a while, but if we are really honest, I don't think we have ever felt half of the things that we claim we have felt in poetry. Much of it is a simple play of words that we use to our strength.

Romance is not always beautiful and heartbreak is not always so painful. Some people do learn to move on. Thank you for bringing this up.

Keep up the good work and have a great day!




mordax says...


Thank you so much!!



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Mon Aug 02, 2021 12:08 pm
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RealSadhours296 wrote a review...



Yeah, I can't agree with you more. Not just sonnets, but many love poems come across as typical and romanticize aesthetic attraction and lust rather than love.

I'm not good at judging poetry, but I think you've wrote an excellent one here! I do agree with the below reviewer about the use of bigotry, upon second reading, but I also see the way you meant to use it and see how it fits.

My favorite stanza is the second one, especially the last two lines "We crave and label desire a 'must,' a need for sensuality." Because it perfectly displays the true meaning behind most typical love poems and sonnets. It also just flows so, so well.

Keep up the good work!




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Sat Jul 31, 2021 3:18 am
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anneonomus wrote a review...



Hi! I really like the concept of this poem, and I definitely agree with a lot of the message of it. Plenty of sonnets do come across as overly flowery and superficial, which I think you addressed in a really cool way!
I did want to make a couple of notes though, starting with the form. You've followed the basic line parameters and rhyme scheme of a traditional Shakespearian sonnet, but it doesn't seem like there's any formalized structure to your syllable count. (Shakespearian sonnets generally tend to have ten syllables in each line.) While that might be too much work for what you're going for, I think it could be interesting to try playing around with the traditional syllable structure to give your sonnet a more uniform flow. It would also fit with the themes of uniformity and tradition that you both reject and accept in the poem.
My second note is a much smaller one on word choice, specifically in the line:

Look closer, and it's bigotry

The use of "bigotry" doesn't quite seem to fit here, as the word has a lot of negative connotations that detract from the main point of the poem. I might suggest instead reworking the line to end in a different word. One I found that might fit is the word "coquetry," which means "flirtatious behavior or a flirtatious manner".
Overall, though, I think this is a solid poem with a clear message! I really enjoy sonnets, and I enjoy sonnets that invert or challenge the status quo even more. I'm excited to see where this poem goes!




mordax says...


Thank you!! I kind of meant the bigotry part as the inherent sexism I often see in old sonnets where women are sexualized. But I definitely like your suggestion and agree with it!




Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
— Homer Simpson