My wet bolster and lap complain of my cries
The air of London city complains of my sighs
As my cries make an oasis, the desert sand clears
So beguiling mirages complain of my tears
I am in the prison of your obsession, so dark and grey
The bars and chains complain of my stay
In the thought of her, I beat my head till it cracks
My brain complains of my hand and its smacks
I shame the dewy rain with my eyes, soaking the floor
The morning rain complains of my downpour
I cry blood from her memory, lying within
Even in death, the soil complains of my coffin
“O wind, bring the scent of her tresses as they fall!”
The fresh forenoon wind complains of my call
I travel and travel with a heart sorrowful
Soon, I am complained of by my own camel
I, a madman, am crying all day: Where is Layla’s tent?
The sun and the moon complain of my lament
The black of my heart, and the black of this wine, fits
The wine merchant is tired and complains of my visits
From my lament, the temple and mosque brims
I am complained of by both pagans and muslims!
I cry by the prayer niche, all day, like the saints
But even sages and saints complain of my complaints!
Her love drives me mad, it is clear to see!
Across this whole nation they complain of me!
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It’s nice to read/review another one of your poems!
The frequent usage of the word "complain" contributes to the obsessive circularity of the whole poem, fitting the theme of complete occupation with his yearning for Layla perfectly.
What made me particularly interested in this poem was the following imagery:
There is a striking image formed by the contrast of the desert and the tears of the speaker, which makes the sorrow of the latter feel so immense that it transforms the surroundings.
It is interesting how the repetition of this word grows in the course of the poem. While at first, only the objects and nature complain about his crying, soon even his camel, places of worship, sages, saints and, in the end, all his nation are tired of his sorrows.
And although the speaker is sad, this increasing repetition gives the poem some humorous flavor.
The references to both the temple and mosque are another element I found interesting. They give his complaint much bigger dimensions, almost like his sorrow spread across the entire surroundings.
One of the things that should be considered is that you could vary your wording related to "complain" occasionally. I do understand that the repetition is deliberate, but changing it even in two-three places will make the repeating "complain" more effective.
Another thing I liked is the exaggeration of the speaker's sorrow. So obsessed with his sorrows does he become that all those around him are tired of them.
I find that the poem has a very distinct voice thanks to the repetition, dramatic imagery and a bit of humor.