​Apparent are your sins quatrain

hello!! this poem is quite beautiful. the flow of the lines are structured formal, but still reads like a private, prayer that's intimate. each line is so visceral, that they're like a poem itself. they all flow lovely, and pack so much weight in its short length!!

Apparent are your sins as a mark on the skin

this line is a great hook to the overall themes in the poem about internalizing sin and shame!! what stood out to me is that the line does feel more clunkier to read in compared to the rest of the lines, which feel lighter. it's a contrast that brings an interest when reading the whole poem altogether, and still makes the experience reading the poem insanely great and unique!

Past your thick skin, lust made your blood thin

love the contrast between the descriptions "thick skin" and "blood thin" here! personally, it makes it even more interesting to interpret this line. not only that, but, the usage of this contrast does so well in portraying the complexities of the human's psyche without being too specific or saying too much - how one can be so guarded yet be vulnerable and bruised. the fact that thinning blood often results excessive bleeding and bruising does adds more to this line and what it means for this sinner the speaker commentates about!

Love a worthier sin, but the pain is verily great

for one to love a "worthier sin", yet the shame based on that sin is still there is very reminiscent of self-destructive behavior. trying to seek comfort or a sense of understanding, only to commit to another form of self-destructive behavior by seeking comfort about yourself through another who bears the same "sins" as you, which ends up not addressing the habit these "sins" you commit the first place (and why these sins may be comforting), is very complex, deep human behavior that this short line commentates on so well despite its length!

The pain of shame is the same so you take this sin.

this ending hits so much! like goodness, it's such an unfortunate one, but sadly a human one as well.

while the poem revolves around the speaker's commentary of who they're addressing with "you", bringing ambiguity on if the line between this being addressed to the speaker themselves or someone else is clear-cut or not (i lean towards that the speaker is mainly coming from experiences! and the usage of "you" could be a result of the speaker some-what distancing themself from, well, themself, as a coping mechanism), there still remains an intimacy throughout the poem that feels human and fair towards this "sinner".

for many people, there is so much weight to "sins" and "sinning" - that sometimes the discussion of "sinners" can be dehumanizing or condescending. so, i appreciate how sympathetic the poem is, even to the act / topic of sinning, while also holding this sinner some responsibility for being self-destructive and acknowledging the pain that makes one stuck in a cycle. and for this poem to pack so much in a tight rhythm scheme, let alone its short length, is very impressive. this was a great, lovely read!!! please, keep writing!!