Young Writers Society

Hey mavisknightely, here for a Review Day review,

Positives:Your formatting is straight lined and clean, which is always good in poetry because it can be hard when it's jumbled around and broken up, or all just smashed together into one big pile. Clean is good.

On the camera, you were a god.

Black and white clung to your skin

like lingerie

on a model.

Hi! I'm PenPacifist here for a review.

As a fellow lover of golden age cinema and movie stars, I saw the title of this poem and was delighted. The imagery in this poem was fantastic. My favorite line was at the beginning where you compared Marlon Brando clinging to the camera like lingerie on a model. It seemed fitting for the kind of person Brando was and the personas he played. I rarely find poems about real people I actually like, but I enjoyed this one very much. It was like a story. Marlon Brando was already an extremely interesting figure in our cinematic history, and this poem was a lovely tribute.

I love this. Keep writing! I would love to see you take on writing about other famous historical figures.

This is Kaos here for a review!

So, this poem interested me in the fact that it was based on an actual person and I usually don't enjoy things that are written about other people or other things, but even though I don't know particularly too much about Marlon Brando, I liked the idea of this. I want you to focus on that you're kind of telling the story and life of Marlon Brando but at the same time adding your own spin to this, which is just what it needed. It's a poem about someone else, but don't make it like it's anonymous, put more of your own style and voice into this.

Put your own thoughts into this while at the same time telling about this actor and person. That's something that I would have liked to see more emphasis on, that this is a person and and actor and kind of describing the dual feelings and emotions about that. Give us how the actor is perceived in terms of acting which you kind of did with people thinking that he's a great actor and then give us his more personal life that you started to do.

In some parts of the poem I felt there was a lack of punctuation, so I suggest you go through and work through the kinks in the flow or the lack of punctuation in some places, because I think it would benefit the poem. I like the sort of narrative you start to tell with this and I think that's something that you could focus on which is telling this life but at the same time, I would have liked to see more imagery throughout the poem in more detail, because there wasn't a ton of it. Overall, with editing for neatness and other things of that sort I think this would make an interesting poem.

I hope I helped and have a great day!