The Man I Loved

I loved this poem!!

The way you use sass in the dialogue is perfect for the context.

I really liked metaphors and similes,\.

Though in this part I agree with ErikaHale

You should use more classical or extravagant words, a little fancy touch.

Not a lot just one or two, maximum three.

Overall I loved your poem and can't wait for more.

Keep it up!

~P.W

Wonderful poem! I adore how you balance the predictable lover's dialogue with sassy comments. Because love is like that. A mixture of sappy compliments and heart stabbing insults. And of course I adore the metaphors and similes. My only suggestion is that, the next time you write a poem like this, add some old fashioned words like 'beseech' or 'treacherous'. Not a lot of them, just a few. Then again, excellent poem. Beautiful flow. No matter what they say, keep on writing!

Absolutely beautiful! I feel like Sam Hunt or someone could sing/rap this and it would be incredible- my mind was feeling the rhythm- excellent job!

Great job. Awesome flow. I love the ending. I have no way to improve upon this.

Before I get into my review, I want to share an unnecessary story that might be slightly necessary.

I fell in love with my sweetheart when I was 15, even before I knew what love was (what does a high school freshman know about love?). I had just met him and was pretty scared of the feelings but soon, we were dating and learning more new things about each other. Around our third year in our relationship, we were going though this super hard rocky patch that was threatening to tumble. At one point, we had the biggest argument and called it off. Throughout our breakup, I have been in a state of emotional pain. Even though I was still young, I have completely forgotten what I used to do before I met him. Throughout our breakup, all I did was thought about everything we've gone through and everything he is. Although he never lied to me, he was (and still is) everything to me.

I connected with this poem in a deep emotional level. Reading this poem has brought many memories for me. The fact that this relates to many others out there is a great way for you to know that you are doing something with your writing right. I mean, the best kind of writing are the ones where you can relate to.

Your flow and grammar usage is great and I have no comments or critiques to give you about them. Your rhyme scheme is impeccable and I believe you are a talented writer.

Overall, you did a superb job and I sincerely hope to read more work of yours in the near future.

Great poem! That is why I love poetry, one can write about anything and anyone. I sometimes think that poems are my best friends, okay now I am injecting personal stuff to a review
Once more I like it. The descriptions are great. I think the lines

I loved his scent,
the smell of apples,

I loved his scent:
the smell of apples,

I like this poem

Hey this is EverWinter! Imma review this, if ya don't mind.

So to start off, great poem. You describe him well. But there were a few things that I wanted to say.

"The smell of apples" sounds redundant because you said scent before. So maybe describe the apples. "Fresh, ripe green apples" Or something. Just so its not repetitive. You could also go through and remove some filler words like "and" and such. Also, you are really close to having a good flow. Some words throw it off, like I have already mentioned, but I think all will be well once you tweak it a bit. (I hope this doesn't offend you, I bet you've already spent a long time on this...)

I liked your descriptions and imagery in this and I think you did a good job!

Ever