A Break-Up Poem

Another beautiful, interesting, realistic poem.

The first poem of yours which I read was "Come back to me". This, "A break up poem" is the second.

First, when I saw the title of this poem, it reminded me of "Come back to me" because their titles sound similar in a sort of way. But when I started reading this poem, I realised, that, it is way different.

In the "Come back to me" poem it's like you want the person back, but in this one, it is the opposite. You don't want to see his face or hear his name.


You welcomed each stanza with a repetition (or may I say "emphasy"), which again, I like this style of yours. These emphasis, such as the words "pretend" , "forget", "you" make the poem sound like a song as well. And I think this style really matches with your username "lyricalrebel".

Again, I loved how you ended the poem:
"This a poem I'd like to impart
To all the people with broken hearts
Breaking up is a part of love
But it helps you realise if it'll make you smile or sob."

This ending is a sad one, but on the other hand, it is an encouraging one. It encourgaes people with broken hearts so they won't give up on life.

I love reading poems with rhyming verses or words.

Another reason I enjoyed reading the ending, because "impart," "hearts" and "love" all rhyme with each other.

But.. I have a small suggestion for you. The last word "sob"... - I expected another word instead of "sob," a word which would rhyme with "impart," "hearts" and "sob". For example, the word "time" would really rhyme

But on the whole, well done and keep on writing. You amaze me with your writing style.

Keep it up,
Kristina.

hey u have written a nice piece.....this poem tells every thing about break up. the starting of this poem is very touchy....i was feeling very connected with your poem while reading. you plot everything so nicely.....every stanza of your poem generating behemoth interest.....this poem gives a very beautiful lesson that.......in love you face everything.........but never back down........tomorrow is yours. i like this poem very much........and also hoping for some more nice-y heart touching poems from you. you are very good in this genre. one more reason that i want to share here is that your poem is very mellifluous........very soft......very emotional.......and very sweet.

over all good job.......nice work....! keep writing!

Hey lyrical rebel! What's up?
I'm hanorah and ill be reviewing your poem.

Hope that your enjoying young writers society!

Ok..

1. First of all nice poem, there is clear emotion in this and you described well.

2. The punctuation, I know this is hard for some writers but for the sake of some grammar nazis (I'm not one, but there is ALOT of them here in YWS, just for the heads up)

3. The flow. It was strong for most if the poem, but sometimes got weaker.

Anyway, I hope this helped, it was a great poem!
9/10
Bye! ;€
~keep writing

Heeeey man,

nice job on the poem, very real and heartbreaking. I sensed a lot of anger beneath the words. But emotion is what awesomises writing.

Good job.

Oh! I do have one criticism; there is literally no punctuation at all. So, for the sake of English language etiquette, pleas add in a few necessary commas or full stops.

Remer Strangelove here and I am here to write a review for your work.Entitled "A break-up poem", it captures how a person feels after a break up. What they say, what they do, how they feel. I have one word for this poem

Realistic.

Pros: It's realness. It is so real. Any average girl would do this, and it is so well done. I also love the examples and all that. It blew me away. I was floating away. That's how smooth the poem was. Let's say when something blows someone away, it would push them back. This is so smooth I floated away

Cons: Just one small small con. a teeny one. I always read love poems. I'm not exactly your audience for that. But that's it, nothing bad about your poem


Overall: I really enjoyed this. I thought it was fabulous. Great job!!
Well this is my 50th review, and I reviewed it on a good poem! You also get my BOOMSTICK of approval
Remer gives you....
8.8/10
Good job
Keep writing
Stay groovy

Gosh, nice poem. It's sounds intense at the last two-three stanza's. It seems like the narrator believes that only the other party will regret the break up as she tells him this. It's kind of harsh but but by what I've read he deserves it, the bastard. .v. The poem plays out a story that takes place in your head filling in the gaps starting from the break-up and going back to what leads up to it. The relationship sounded so nice in the beginning but wen tall wrong and so a poem to break up would only seem right (to me anyway). Poetic justice?!...