i heard two songbirds through the window last night,
notes ringing out through the panes of glass,
breaching the vaccuum between us.
~
a wistful cacophony flowing over my body,
drenching my pores and seeping into my bones.
~
memories of primordial existence rushing back,
of a time before we stained the ground with blood
and let sooty smears sink into the landscape.
~
i heard two songbirds through the window last night,
like a call to prayer, aan's flutes,
a siren intoxicating me, drawing me
to a time where once again
songbirds sing and beeches bourgeon
and out of the ashes of a world laid bare,
desolate, decimated,
rises humanity like a great tsunami.
~
and as we crash down upon this ground we call our home,
we bring not death and destruction
but rebirth, regeneration.
~
a resistance against the throngs that came before,
bearing chainsaws and factories and plastic bags.
~
we will come bearing their mistakes and their regret.
~
we will bury them, nurture them, watch them flourish.
~
let the rains fall, wash into the soil,
saturate the earth between our toes,
rivulets snaking down our backs
until our skin is slick to touch
but the seeds are nourished.
~
they've started germinating and they will not be halted.
~
from the rubble of a world decimated by corporate greed,
we rebuild a world centred on its own merits.
~
we may bear the burden of ancestors but we bear too their gifts.
~
i heard two songbirds through the window last night,
signing their lamentations,
their funeral dirges.
~
and i grieved for the ruthlessness of man,
and the songbirds, of course,
but i grieved too joyously,
because i was grieving the end of an era,
and marking the dawn of a new one.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
ello ello another review :]
i like this contradictions since sound/vibrations can't travel through a vacuum :3
i like this imagery.
this contradiction is cool too! the birth & rise of life characterised as a destructive force.
i don't know if it's intentional? but i'm personally not a fan of all the tildes, i feel that it might disrupt the flow of the poem a little too much. basically i feel like switching between these ideas are a little jarring and they aren't as fleshed out as they could be.
i like the imagery and the alliteration here.
i feel like this idea of corporate greed is something that could be explored a little more. i get the idea of destruction in
but i think it could be linked to the aforementioned corporate greed line.
yep that's it cool poem :]
Hi there, Ellie-Mae here for a quick review!
I’ll give honest feedback, but nothing at all is intended to hurt or discourage you in any way at all! <3 So, without waiting any longer, let’s get right into it and digest the spectabulous piece of literary work!
Wishing you a happy day/evening/morning/night/whatever is applicable to your part of the world! First off, please remember that my reviews are my own opinions
I love the repetition used- it is very powerful and adds to this poem a lot. I really enjoyed reading! it is beautiful. you are so magically descriptive, that it blows me away <3!!!!
Ellie-Mae
I enjoyed this poem.I loved the message of how life can be reborn from the ashes and destruction of only we helped the world out.My favorite parts were these lines:”We may bare the burden of ancestors,but we bare too their gifts.” This tells us that we can can fix our past mistakes.Overall,I thought this was a cool poem.Good Job and have a lovely day!