ello ello another review :]
notes ringing out through the panes of glass,
breaching the vaccuum between us.
i like this contradictions since sound/vibrations can't travel through a vacuum :3
songbirds sing and beeches bourgeon
and out of the ashes of a world laid bare,
desolate, decimated,
i like this imagery.
rises humanity like a great tsunami.
this contradiction is cool too! the birth & rise of life characterised as a destructive force.
i don't know if it's intentional? but i'm personally not a fan of all the tildes, i feel that it might disrupt the flow of the poem a little too much. basically i feel like switching between these ideas are a little jarring and they aren't as fleshed out as they could be.
memories of primordial existence rushing back,
of a time before we stained the ground with blood
and let sooty smears sink into the landscape.
i like the imagery and the alliteration here.
from the rubble of a world decimated by corporate greed,
i feel like this idea of corporate greed is something that could be explored a little more. i get the idea of destruction in
bearing chainsaws and factories and plastic bags.
but i think it could be linked to the aforementioned corporate greed line.
yep that's it cool poem :]
Points: 233
Reviews: 12
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