z

Young Writers Society



nightingales

by lukekazey


i heard two songbirds through the window last night,

notes ringing out through the panes of glass,

breaching the vaccuum between us.

~

a wistful cacophony flowing over my body,

drenching my pores and seeping into my bones.

~

memories of primordial existence rushing back,

of a time before we stained the ground with blood

and let sooty smears sink into the landscape.

~

i heard two songbirds through the window last night,

like a call to prayer, aan's flutes,

a siren intoxicating me, drawing me

to a time where once again

songbirds sing and beeches bourgeon

and out of the ashes of a world laid bare,

desolate, decimated,

rises humanity like a great tsunami.

~

and as we crash down upon this ground we call our home,

we bring not death and destruction

but rebirth, regeneration.

~

a resistance against the throngs that came before,

bearing chainsaws and factories and plastic bags.

~

we will come bearing their mistakes and their regret.

~

we will bury them, nurture them, watch them flourish.

~

let the rains fall, wash into the soil,

saturate the earth between our toes,

rivulets snaking down our backs 

until our skin is slick to touch

but the seeds are nourished.

~

they've started germinating and they will not be halted.

~

from the rubble of a world decimated by corporate greed,

we rebuild a world centred on its own merits.

~

we may bear the burden of ancestors but we bear too their gifts.

~

i heard two songbirds through the window last night,

signing their lamentations, 

their funeral dirges.

~

and i grieved for the ruthlessness of man,

and the songbirds, of course,

but i grieved too joyously,

because i was grieving the end of an era,

and marking the dawn of a new one.


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12 Reviews


Points: 233
Reviews: 12

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Sun Oct 17, 2021 4:31 pm
cryptologenic wrote a review...



ello ello another review :]

notes ringing out through the panes of glass,

breaching the vaccuum between us.

i like this contradictions since sound/vibrations can't travel through a vacuum :3

songbirds sing and beeches bourgeon

and out of the ashes of a world laid bare,

desolate, decimated,

i like this imagery.

rises humanity like a great tsunami.

this contradiction is cool too! the birth & rise of life characterised as a destructive force.

i don't know if it's intentional? but i'm personally not a fan of all the tildes, i feel that it might disrupt the flow of the poem a little too much. basically i feel like switching between these ideas are a little jarring and they aren't as fleshed out as they could be.

memories of primordial existence rushing back,

of a time before we stained the ground with blood

and let sooty smears sink into the landscape.

i like the imagery and the alliteration here.

from the rubble of a world decimated by corporate greed,

i feel like this idea of corporate greed is something that could be explored a little more. i get the idea of destruction in
bearing chainsaws and factories and plastic bags.

but i think it could be linked to the aforementioned corporate greed line.

yep that's it cool poem :]




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208 Reviews


Points: 9965
Reviews: 208

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Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:07 am
EllieMae wrote a review...



Hi there, Ellie-Mae here for a quick review!

Wishing you a happy day/evening/morning/night/whatever is applicable to your part of the world! First off, please remember that my reviews are my own opinions :) I’ll give honest feedback, but nothing at all is intended to hurt or discourage you in any way at all! <3 So, without waiting any longer, let’s get right into it and digest the spectabulous piece of literary work!

I love the repetition used- it is very powerful and adds to this poem a lot. I really enjoyed reading! it is beautiful. you are so magically descriptive, that it blows me away <3!!!!

Ellie-Mae




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967 Reviews


Points: 97
Reviews: 967

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Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:20 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



I enjoyed this poem.I loved the message of how life can be reborn from the ashes and destruction of only we helped the world out.My favorite parts were these lines:”We may bare the burden of ancestors,but we bare too their gifts.” This tells us that we can can fix our past mistakes.Overall,I thought this was a cool poem.Good Job and have a lovely day!





These were autumn mornings, the time of year when kings of old went forth to conquest; and I, never stirring from my little corner in Calcutta, would let my mind wander over the whole world.
— Rabindranath Tagore, The Cabuliwallah