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clueless

by loveissourgrapes


there was a girl,

funny as a clown and sweet as a pearl

she was beautiful, fun and fearless

she thought she knew everything

but she was clueless

she was prom queen once

with two perfect shaped buns

she wore a tight mini black dress

but the night still felt like a mess

young and beautiful,

popular and youthful,

she had good deeds for everyone

she wanted them to be happy and have fun

but then, one night

she was lonely, and cried with fright

"i did everything good with all my might,

but am i doing this right?"

i'm good, but things don't feel good

i want love, a boyfriend, at least a normal dude

someone to remind me who i am

and would hold my hand

but i'm clueless,

i know nothing about love, such foolishness

i helped people fall in love

like they fell out of heaven above

but me, i don't know anything

but people want me to be their everything

it's funny how i'm beautiful

but thinking of loving someone is pitiful

because i am clueless


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Tue Sep 12, 2023 12:53 am
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

I enjoyed reading this poem! I think writing a poem based on a film is pretty cool, and I'm impressed by how much you've been able to capture here.

One thing that I thought was very clear was the narrative you presented here. I'm only vaguely familiar with the plot of Clueless--- I know it takes inspiration from Jane Austen's Emma, though, and I have seen an adaptation of that! However, in your poem, you do a great job of tracing the plight of the subject, a girl who outwardly appears very content in her position as a very popular girl who gets enjoyment out of setting up others, but within longs for a relationship of her own. Really nice work conveying that.

One thing I did wonder is if this poem could maybe benefit from stanzas. I felt like it was a little hard to get into the rhythm because it was just one large stanza, and the line breaks felt a little out of place. I wasn't sure if that was what you were going for, but I think you could do something cool with the stanzas since you've got the repeated "clueless" motif throughout, either having the stanzas start or end with the word, especially since throughout some of the times you use the word don't have associated rhymes.

Specifics

she wore a tight mini black dress

but the night still felt like a mess


I thought the contrast here was really nice. The tight mini black dress is something that definitely feels like a symbol for sophistication and control, and the fact that the night was a mess was a subtle way of implying that even though she tried to project an outward air of coolness, in truth, she's actually got this inner turmoil.

Overall: nice work! I like the idea of writing a poem based on a movie, and I think this is a great example of one! I hope to read more of your poetry soon! Until next time!

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loveissourgrapes says...


thank you for this review!



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Mon Sep 11, 2023 11:04 pm
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ariah347 wrote a review...



Hey there! First off, this movie is classic. I love it when movies, music, art, etc. inspire writing! It showcases how anything can be an inspiration, and connecting the dots between things can add to the overall picture of life! The beginning is from the third person, but switching to first-person through Cher's perspective was neat. You did that well! The word "dude" made me laugh because of that word and because it sounded exactly like her! Overall, I found this very cute. It encompasses the movie. I loved the title's repetition, and each time it was repeated, it seemed to take on a new meaning. Great job! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world. <3




loveissourgrapes says...


yes, I watched the movie for the first time and then, suddenly I thought of a poem.



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Sat Sep 09, 2023 10:59 pm
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momonster wrote a review...



hello! momo here with a review :)

i really enjoyed this poem! i haven't seen the movie clueless, but this poem still made sense even though i hadn't and was very well-written. i also think this can be very relatable for some people, in the aspect of giving relationship advice, but not taking it yourself. i have a few notes, so let's dive in!

funny as clown and sweet as a pearl

it should be funny as a clown here. and sweet as a pearl doesn't make much sense, since pearls don't taste good.

someone to remind me who i am

and would be close to my fam

fam seems like an awkward rhyme here, maybe try and would hold my hand or something similar.

but thinking of loving someone is pityful

that should be pitiful here.

i also noticed the only punctuation you use are commas. i think that if you're going to use some punctuation, you should go the whole nine yards, with periods and commas and semicolons galore. that's a personal preference, so do whatever you want.

that's all! i'm sorry if i came across as rude in this review, that was not my intention. stay safe and keep writing!
momo




loveissourgrapes says...


thank you for a review! I will fix those words too



loveissourgrapes says...


you weren't rude, I think the review was great<33




If it wasn't for poetry, I couldn't express myself.
— Rosendorn