Hello! I'm here to leave a quick review. First of all, thanks for sharing this poem. Sometimes I like to see what other people are writing and how they approach poetry. I like the idea you've taken where you show moods as colors. It's a fascinating concept to me as well. Especially in specific instances, you have used certain colors to depict very specific emotions, such as gray for feeling down or lonely or sad, and black as a feeling of emptiness. The use of this correlation is great.
That being said, it would be nice if you went a little further into what each color represents. What exactly do the blue or yellow or violent depict as moods? Are the mix of colors meant to represent mixed feelings? Additional descriptive details would improve the overall feel of this poem.
It's cool how you personify the sunshine and give the reader insight into how it represents someone who makes the narrator happy. While this is a nice touch, it does seem to deviate a bit from the main theme of the poem. Yes, I see how it is still tied in by the idea of happiness and its overall correlation to the idea of moods in general, but there are no color descriptors used for the sunshine, so it's like you've kinda changed from the idea of colors as moods to a new idea of weather as moods. Both are great concepts and highly useful for poetic writing, but I would suggest throwing in some colors for the part about the sunshine, so it ties in with the rest of the piece better. Maybe think about using words like "golden" or even "white", or even simple adjectives like "bright" that give a more colorful visual than just the basic term "sunshine." That being said, I do see that you used the phrase "he brings light to my mood," so this is sort of what I'm getting at here. The bottom line, I think, is adding more visuals and more feeling.
You have a creative poem here, and it was easy to read. Hopefully something I've said might be helpful or give you some inspiration on how to make it even more impactful. But at the end of the day, the poem is yours, and you can do whatever you choose with it. Anyway, thanks again for sharing, and keep up the good work!
Points: 13763
Reviews: 218
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