Undressed Young Lady

Hello again! Wow. This makes three poems of yours that I've reviewed tonight. It's kinda sad, really, considering this means no one else wanted to review your poems.

But I'm here to fix that, this lovely Review Day! Fear not!

I see him looking,
Looking at me.
I watch him watching,
Watching me move.

Hrm. I notice that you really like your repetition. And there's nothing wrong with that, or with repetition, except that that's a lot of repetition going on right in that small space there, and it's rather... repetitious. My thesaurus has failed me. Hopefully yours won't in the future.

I'd highly recommend using more varied vocabulary in your poems since simple language mixed heavily with repetition tends to come across as too, too repetitious, and people tend to avoid repetition overloads.

My dresses are shorter,
Shorter still by the breeze.

Now, this case of repetition here really works, so before you go thesaurusing the heck out of it to make it less repetitious, I'm going to tell you so.

Inexistent hips have decided,

"Inexistent" isn't a word. The one you want is "nonexistent".

Overall, out of all the poems of yours that I reviewed this crazy, crazy night, I liked this one the best. You've got some solid images here (like the nonexistent hips saying hello) that, if you were to elaborate on a bit more, could become very vivid and memorable. They're quite effective in their simple forms at the moment, so I can just imagine how delicious they'd be if you could refine and hone them.

This poem also really felt genuine, the last stanza in particular, like it was talking about an actual experience of yours, and that really added a lot to the piece. This piece has definitely got a lot of potential, and I really (truly, really) hope you come back to this and refine it so that potential can see the light of reality.

If you do revisit this piece, be sure to let me know and I'll happily drop it another review.