The story takes place in a world much like our own was in the dark ages, in a village surrounded by a forest. Unlike our dark ages this world is inhabited by monsters as well that out number humans a thousand to one, some peaceful some not.
It was a hot summers day when Kevin woke up to his mother and father screaming for him to wake up, or at least that's what he thought. He opened his eyes to his room on fire and they barely made it out. After being examined by the village herb master they were cleared to go.
"Kevin how does this keep happening what is going on?" His worried mother asked.
"Mom if I knew I would have said so, I have no idea." But he lied knowing pretty well how.
Later that day when he met up with his 3 friends in their usual place just outside the village in an old shack they found last year, they started talking about how they all woke up that way this time. "Clearly trying to suppress our magic isn't a good idea Megan. One of these days we will kill our parents on accident" hitomi said.
"Yes I already realized that. Our magic is getting stronger, how I don't know but if we don't learn to control it soon then that will happen." Megan said.
"So can we go with my suggestion kill a couple wolves, or bears, or crab demons?" Yukio asked.
"No, I think just trying to learn how to use it at will as much as possible is best. Id we pick a fight with monsters that could be bad if we lose our focus or panic because our magic might go out of control or not work at all." Megan said.
"Kevin what do you think? You haven't said anything in a while since we started discussing this stuff." Hitomi asked.
"Hmm? Oh sorry I wasn't paying attention. I agree with yukio, and Megan both. We need to be sure we can use it endlessly or when under stress, but I think the only way to figure it out for sure is to put ourselves in a difficult situation. Both were a good point, one has a interesting risk, the other is safer. I will just go with whatever you 3 vote in majority for I liked both suggestions." Kevin said.
Megan said "I vote safety."
Yukio and hitomi both said "interesting risk." Smiling at Kevin.
It was no secret in there village all 3 liked him a lot and he liked them back but was fair in not playing favorites. He liked Yukio and Megan most but he never let it show.
"Well I'm not risking anything just to be powerful, that's how our king killed our former ruler. By being power hungry and slaying a fair and just leader." Megan said in frustration.
Hitomi and Yukio sighed and walked for the door "stubborn as usual."
"You two go ahead we will catch up in a bit." Kevin said looking at them with a face of disappointment.
"fine by us, bur if we can you two smooching or something we will freeze you and zap you until you say sorry" they said in unison.
"Oh now I'm terrified, I will have to find a private shack to kiss her in now" Kevin said teasing them. "We will find you soon enough hopefully."
And with that the door was closed. "I know you don't want to but haven't we always done everything together? We are all scared of what might happen but the best way to prevent that is to learn to control the magic we are cursed with, if we learn to control it we can suppress it a lot easier and a lot better don't you think?" Kevin asked.
She turned towards him and looked up smiling and with tears in her eyes. "It's not just that, I'm actually really scared I am afraid of battles. I'm also afraid of losing you." Megan said fighting her tears.
"I think I can fix that I will be right back." He came back with a few flowers for her hair as a gift and a sharpened wooden dagger he spent months on and wanted to test out. "Here something for a beautiful warrior going into her first fight."
"Oh thank you my knight is tattered cloth" she giggled and ran up to him kissing him on his cheek.
"Oh um uh your um... your very welcome" he said feeling nervous. When suddenly he heard a scream coming from the direction of the river. "YUKIO!" He burst through the door running as fast ad he could and saw a dozen or more crab demons at the river chasing them.
"Kevin we only hit one but suddenly there was a ton of them." They screamed running towards him when they got cut off and surrounded. He panicked screaming in anger as much as fear for his friends when both his arms suddenly ignited and he bolted towards them with more and more of his body igniting.
"Back away from them, and fight me" the closest one went to turn around and Yukio and hitomi saw him punch it when a huge beam of fire ripped through it and hit 4 others on the other side. Megan caught up just in time to see the punch and gasped in fear of the way he looked and was suddenly acting. Kevin ran towards the next closest crab demons now completely covered in fire and burning blueish. Hit hit the closest but created another beam of fire twice as wide. Then turned towards the last ones ran straight for them now burning purple and creating an ana sort of flaming aura around him. He punched it from both sides creating a wall of fire that destroyed the rest and rose sky high. "He turned towards Hitomi and Yukio asking if they are alright but with an unusual deep tone and panting from exhaustion. He saw Megan with a terrified look and noticed an usually large bear behind her running straight at her claws out.
"NOOOOOOOO" he screamed and the fire turned black, then suddenly he was right behind her before she could blink and he was choking the bear with such a strong grip it couldn't move.
"KEVIN!" They all screamed running for him when the bear suddenly died and he passed out. With a glimpse of them running at him screaming his name.
They carried him back to the shack knowing someone in the village defiantly saw the wall of fire and made it just in time for the door to close when suddenly the village soldiers ran by. They were all crying and looking in his direction. He woke up a few hours later feeling different but couldn't quite figure out how. When he sat up he noticed they were staring at him a little afraid.
"Um do I something on my face" he asked checking his cheek.
"No, but you went crazy and we aren't sure what to ask first." Megan spoke first.
"How did you summon up so much fire and how did you get it to cover you without killing you?" Yukio asked.
"How did you do that?" Hitomi asked at the same time.
"I don't know, I know that when I hit the first time I started to feel like I lost myself and was controlled by someone or something else. During the fourth hit I could no longer control my body. And during the last hit I wasn't even conscious I felt like a monster with endless rage. Not to scare you all but something feels off still too." He looked around and noticed Megan cowering in a corner.
"It's alright I'm me again, I'm not a monster" he said walking towards her. She ran behind a couch and hid.
"Hitomi and Yukio would you mind going home early today it's probably best I calm her down" Kevin asked.
"Sure thing lover boy" Yukio said with a jealous tone.
"If you two smooch your fire won't save you" Hitomi said a bit irritated the that he asked to be with just her twice in a day.
"The nerve of him" he heard them say as they walked off. When he was sure they were gone he sat down at his bed and threw himself back with a big sigh. He heard Megan looking over the couch but pretended not to notice because he was sure she was still too afraid to talk. He layed there for a half hour and was about to take a nap when he felt someone sit on his bed. He opened his eyes too see her staring at the wall on the far side of the room. When she said "your magic scares me. Please don't use it in a fight again until you can control it better." Megan said.
"I can agree to that" he sat up looking into her eyes. "I'm also sure of a few other things. First of them, apparently enough stress makes our magic stronger but at the risk we might turn on friends as well, not worth the risk. Second thing I'm sure of, I think I might have gotten more control over it than I had this morning, and am less likely for that to happen again by accident no matter what happens. The last thing I'm sure of is I want a hug" he smiled. She gave him a hug and walked to the door smiling and asked "you ready to head home?"
"Sure, by the way look under the pillow of your bed tomorrow before we go home, I have another present. That should be ready by then." She smiled and grabbed his hand eager to find out what it was tomorrow.
When they all got home that not they got a long lecture about leaving the village anymore because of a fight that happened. Their parents knew they left the village but assumed they stayed close enough to be safe.
The next day soldiers sealed off the village entrances expecting war. They used a secret exit in the village walls were the wooden boards are loose. Kevin got to their shack first and snuck a note under Megan's pillow on her bed in their small 3 room shack. He just barely got to the couch when Yukio and Hitomi walked in looking tired. "Lecture and blockade at the entrances?"
"Uh huh" they answered. "This is good he thought they will be to tired to hassle me." He thought.
Just then Megan walked in smiling. "What has you so happy, lover boy propose or something."Yukio asked. Kevin almost laughed.
"He seems happier to actually, Kevin what did you two do?" Hitomi pointed out.
"Do I?" He asked teasing them back smiling now. "Hmm I just don't know, we will see how the day ends I guess." Kevin tilted back his head over the back of the couch to see Megan reading the note. "Not now you bookworm if they see we are both going to have a REALLY bad day" he thought to himself.
She looked up at him and yelled "YAY!" Giving a barely noticeable nod yes.
"Yay what?" They looked up at her and saw the note.
"Yay her dad is back from the castle probably" he said quickly to make them disregard the note.
"Oh um yes, yay he is back. When did you find out I haven't mentioned it yet?" Megan said playing along.
"Saw him last night pretty sure he ordered the town sealed up, as the only soldier loyal to his people he cares about the village. And as the only soldier here who worked in the castle or fought in wars he ranks above our guards I believe." Kevin said.
Megan realized he was actually not just making it up for her sake.
"He is what any honest and loyal soldier should try to be." Kevin said.
"By the way do we have any food left in the shack I'm hungry?" Megan asked.
"We got to get more" Kevin said.
Yukio and Hitomi grunted and plopped down on their beds.
"That's a change, seeing you two so exhausted, Megan should we go hunt a couple wolves for food?"
"Sure, lets leave the dead weight behind" she looked at Hitomi and Yukio.
"I'll show you dead weight" Yukio said and tripped halfway to them.
"Hate to point it out but your not focused enough and lack the energy right now." Kevin said "You two rest a bit we will be back soon."
Kevin walked out with Megan ready to hunt and when they got a just out of sight of the shack Megan pushed him into a tree and started to wrestle around.
"Woah I thought you were hungry" he said confused.
"Of course not." She said waving his note in the air smiling and laughing.
"I figured that was why but didn't really mind. I thought you asking to hunt wolves sounded odd. She kissed him a couple times and dragged him up. "Nope I'm just glad you picked me, I was sure you would fall for Hitomi for her looks, or Yukio for that fighters spirit you both have."
"The mind is the most useful muscle. And the smart live longer than the skilled fighters. You got home the brains, and I think you're the prettiest." Kevin said looking for wolves.
"Oh really?" She said in disbelief.
"I think so anyway." He said still looking.
"Well you can't deny that fighters spirit you and Yukio have." Megan said.
They set off to find some wolves and accidentally stumbled into a den of wolves.
"Oh no, not again. Megan run, run fast, run far and don't stop until you get to the shack" Kevin said eyeing the wolves circling them.
"No!" She said angrily "I won't leave you here alone, I won't leave you alone ever." Megan said
"Then stay behind me," his arms ignited. "Don't worry I won't lose control again."
Immediately after she froze her fists over for a punch,l they both noticed it spread to her whole arm and stopped there. The wolves stopped circling and attacked not sure what to do. Kevin and Megan fought in perfect unison back to back and the wolves all ended up dead in minutes. The fire and ice on their arms went away as they started to try and scalp the dead wolves hides and the meat off their bones. When they got back they were carrying so much wolf hide and wolf meat it would make a ton of clothes and enough food for the village to feast a few days.
"I just realized how useful our magic is even out of battles" Kevin said.
"Oh?" All three said and looked at him.
Hand me some raw wolf meat. Yukio tossed a steak like piece towards him.
"Here you go, bookworm" Yukio said.
"Bookworm? I'll be a bookworm then" he said turn his attention to the slab of steak. He put a hand on both sides and ignited his hands. Within seconds it was done.
"Wow, you bookworm" Megan said teasing him. "That's actually a good idea."
They ate like royalty and went home stuffed that day.
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,830 Reviews
Hey dude! Amazing chapter, I really loved the characterization and speed. It kept flowing at an amazing pace. It made me want to keep reading. One of the things I would recommend you to do is to punctuate this properly. It actually has a wonderful start like a detective story or an action movie where the criminals 'silently' commit the crime at midnight. I like the idea of magic and fantasy, the story is wonderful however your surroundings and details are missed out. You come out easily as a more rational type of person than emotional. I loved the entire chapter a lot and it was enjoyable. Keep Writing on!
Yeah punctuation is not my strong area, nor describing things. But thank you for the review, some thing I left out because I felt they weren't necessary, some because I am bad at describing things, some because I wanted to avoid giving away too much too soon.
Hey,
first of all i have to say this was a great story it kept me intrested through the entire chapter.
now a few things i didn't enjoy.
first i think you should clarify what you meant when you said dark ages, its a pretty vague term since everyone has a different idea of what it looked like and chances are some veiws are diffrent to the one you have in mind.
another thing that bugged me was the first few paragraphs. There is no detail at all, how did kevin escape the fire and how they got to the herb master. It seemed like you were in a hurry to get to you're favourite part of the story.
Another thing is that you rarely describe the environment or 'show' the expression on a charecters face. A bit detail as to how a place can make alot of difference.
one last thing; i think this is just me but you have 2 charecters with english names and 2 charecters with asian ones, neither of which are really suited for a fantasy world, now im assuming they're based on real people but what you could've done was change some vowels and make the names suited for a fantasy world. But thats just a suggestion.
over all you have a great story here and i cant wait to read the rest.
Hello Kevin!
It was a fun read.
Most of the issues have already been covered by the other reviewers. The only other thing I noticed was that it reads more like a script for a movie than a book. You could cut down on dialogue by replacing it with action and having more of Kevin's thoughts so that his character comes out clearer. Perhaps a little more description of the scenes would not be a bad idea.
I look forward to reading Kevin's continuing escapades.
It's funny you should mention it coming out like a movie, I picture it with a movie type vibe when I started writing this story.
Hey I finally got a round to reading chapter 1.......love it man, and your boy Kev, man is a real lady killer....Got three of the villages strongest women want to be with him.....man that's a strong character. I did get confuse though when Yukio called Kevin a bookworm. Like why would she do that? Is cause Kevin is really smart???? If so I think you should portray that in chapter 1 more. Cause I get the fact that he is strong. That is portrayed very well, however his smarts isn't shown as much. Overall though I loved this story and I think I am going to followed it to the end
Kevin is based on me, I was always a bit of a nerd. His being a bookworm shows more in later chapters and when making plans or strategies.
OH OKAY
Kevin Megan Hitomi Yukio are all based on real people, the rest are made up. So I matched those 4 with the personality of the person they are based off of.
Hey I finally got a round to reading chapter 1.......love it man, and your boy Kev, man is a real lady killer....Got three of the villages strongest women want to be with him.....man that's a strong character. I did get confuse though when Yukio called Kevin a bookworm. Like why would she do that? Is cause Kevin is really smart???? If so I think you should portray that in chapter 1 more. Cause I get the fact that he is strong. That is portrayed very well, however his smarts isn't shown as much. Overall though I loved this story and I think I am going to followed it to the end
the first line"from the story takes place till dark ages"
I think you misread that, try reading it again.
really a very good story.well i liked your story but i was a little confused in the start.just make that correct otherwise the story is really good.i will give it 5 stars.
Thanks, which part at the start confused you?
Thanks, which part at the start confused you?
Hi! Cricket here for a review!
Sorry, for taking longer than I thought. Here goes.
Firstly, let's talk about your opening sentence.
When doing an opening sentence you should always keep in mind that this first sentence basically makes up your reader's mind about the book. It will either excite them and make them want to read more; it will confuse them and not be too sure about reading further; or it will downright bore them to death.
With your opening line I would have to say that I felt slightly bored and pretty confused. When you write an opening sentence it has to have the one purpose of exciting the reader, and making them want to just keep on reading and reading. With this, I would advise you to not start it off with a description. That's one way of starting a book off, that I've found bores a reader. Why not start it off with some bit of descriptive dialogue? Or perhaps some character development? Character thought and narration is an excellent way of starting it off as well. Some of the main reasons why readers read a book, is because of the characters that are being represented. So that would be a great way of starting it off. Just a suggestion. ^^
There is a problem when it comes to your dialogue punctuation and capitalization here.
1) Capitalization: After going into a dialogue tag a common noun is never capitalized. [b]She/b] shouldn't be caps in any case after a dialogue tag.
2) Punctuation: After a dialogue tag you don't have a period, but a comma. So after not there would be a comma instead of a period. Make sense? If not then please tell me, and I'll find some articles and explain it more if I can.
When writing numbers, you have to actually write them out. Like three instead of just 3.
Really, the main thing that needs to be worked on here are your commas and dialogue punctuation. Grammar isn't what makes a story of course, but it is definitely a HUGE deciding factor for it. A reader wouldn't want to read a story, and then stop every moment or so to study a sentence out because there's a grammatical error in it! That would ruin their enjoyment in the story.
Here's a great website that should help with grammar. It really helped me with my grammar, so hopefully it does help.
That's all that I'll mention for this chapter. I'll move onto the next chapter now, and hopefully I'll be able to help you out with that one as well. ^^
Keep writing!
~Cricket
Thanks for the review.
Yoo, I will be reviewing this later on, but where is Chapter two? I can see Chapter one and three.
Either something is wrong with the site or my profile is full of crap, it shows one two and three in my portfolio as published. Not sure how come it isn't displayed on the top right though. I noticed it wasn't when I published this. I will look over my publishing center again though.
okay, thanks. If you have any trouble with getting it to show up, then it might be best to contact a literary moderator.
Good point I will definitely do that next time. Site moderators have green and orange names right?
Site moderators have dark and light green names. The ones that have orange names are the retired global moderators. Generally, you don't go to them as they don't do much moderating anymore (hence they are called retired). I would try someone like TriSarahTops or megsug.
Alright will do thanks a ton for the help by the way.
No problem.
I can see Chapter two now, though. I think it fixed itself, or perhaps you did something?
Had republished two days ago.
Hey Kevin!
There's quite a few grammar and spelling errors--all drafts have them at one point--and a few set-up no-nos, but they can be easily fixed with a second draft, so... you're looking pretty good, especially given your typing arrangements!
Good luck!
You have an interesting story going here!
I'll go ahead and go through some select nitpicks...
I think a spell-checker in a word document like Microsoft Word, Open Office Docs, or even the Google Drive Docs should pick up on most spelling and grammar errors, like the accidental lower-cased names (I saw Hitomi's name not capitalized quite a bit in the beginning), the occasional dialogue mistake, and stuff like that, so I won't go over that too much.
I have to agree with Chaser and Eternal; one of the first things you learn as a writer--well, at least the first thing I learned--was to avoid info-dumps at all costs. I still manage to drop them down like bombs even now; they can be pretty hard to avoid when you need to get something said and out of the way as quickly as possible. The way you introduced the characters would have been fine for a movie or play script, but isn't such a good idea here. Whenever you get the time, I highly suggest you throw detail crumbs as you move along with the story. It can be anything from eyes locking, where you can list of two characters' eye colors, a character brushing back/tying back hair so you can slip in the color/texture/length, or simply hinting that a character has to look down on another, signifying that one is shorter/taller than the other. If you insert them right, it allows readers to build an image in their heads without realizing you're feeding them bits and pieces of info.
I also noticed a lack of commas and semicolons where they might have been needed all throughout the piece, which is mostly just a personal peeve of mine. Again, I imagine stopping every few seconds to switch to the spacing options--if I'm assuming your general phone model correctly--can get pretty irritating, so it's nothing a second draft won't patch up.
Um... landscape/timeline details! Definitely consider those.
I think that's all I had in my mental list...
Seriously, though, I really hope you keep refining this; once polished--even if you don't intend to publish it for profit or otherwise--this could become a pretty popular story. I had a little personal issue with ten year olds kissing, mostly because at ten, I thought dudes were gross and dudes thought I had cooties. The immaturity, I tell you... xD Then again, the Maximum Ride series had pretty-much-children... uh... yeah. So. Anyways. Just watch out how far you make their romantic feelings go... I know the way you were raised and the location you grew up in might affect your writing--it affects mine, at least--but a lot of people might tag this is 'not cool' or whatever, and things can get uncomfortable. Just a word of advice :3
I like the plot so far, though! You'll have to let me know when the second chapter is posted; I'll definitely read it in my free time! You have a good thing going here
Yeah I will probably take it out the first ten lines. I realized near the end I failed to capitalize Hitomi a lot in the beginning and was too lazy to fix all of them. But I was aware I did that. As for misspelling I didn't see anything while writing it but will fix it if I know where to look. (It feels weird to me to read my own stories, no idea why.)
So, allow me to state my thoughts.
First, your exposition is overwhelming, and not in the more pleasant manner. It's hard for readers to remember details if you just dump them out all at once. The way I try to give it a gentler touch is to explain each character bit by bit as they speak. Also, the words "dark ages" just don't quite give the reader a clear enough picture. I myself can only conjure a partial image. Your job is to bring the full setting to life. What the town looks like, for example.
Second, the dialogue. It's not bad in concept, but grammar is important to pick up on the playfulness between characters. Ending sentences that seem to showcase two different thoughts could be a start.
Third, the characters themselves. Kevin seems to be an overall great character, but that might be a bit of an issue. I myself can't picture being like that, so it may get in the way of a conflict that's easy to relate to. But that's just a personal opinion. Yukio and Hitomi seem to be a little too like-minded in what they say. If they have more distinguished personalities, dialogue is important for portraying that.
I really look forward to seeing how the magic and power conflicts escalate. Have fun, and good luck.
-Chaser
Hi, there.
So, there were several aspects to this story that just made me cringe. There were some parts that were fantastic, though!
All right, let's begin!
1) The start of your story - info dump. At the very beginning, you just blurted out what each of the people look like, what they do, etc. Adding on to this, I saw no flaws to your characters. I'm sure you'll add some later in the story, but as of now, when describing them, the biggest mistake you can make (besides the info dump-that's already mistake number one) is to create characters with no flaws.
2) Dialogue The main issue with your dialogue is the grammar. Here is an example out of your piece:
The correction is in blue.
Also, since we're at this one, for the last line, I would say 'teasingly' or 'Megan said in a teasing tone' instead of what you've got there.
This story has a awesome plot, and so love your characters, they're very interesting (add the flaws though
Please tell me when chapter 2 is out!
Have fun writing,
~ EternalRain ^.^
Was going to type it when I got home. I'm waiting on the train back home at the moment and to hungry and tired, had to walk back to the train station on an empty stomach from 5 miles away. When I get back I will type it up. I plan to release this one once a week probably because it's meant to be longer than this and will be. I plan to make this story book sized chapter length, 20 to 40 pages long. None of my characters are perfect, they all have shortcomings. They point I made when describing them you seemed to over look. For example Kevin are Yukio like fighting to push their limits. Megan is calm careful and logical. Hitomi is a people pleaser she teases but deep down wants everyone to be happy. They all have a flaw which is covered up by one of the others strengths. Like how in a rpg game mages have low hp and shitty defense, so they fight from a distance, while knight/warrior type has high hp and defense so they fight from the front. Like that example they each have a flaw, but one of the others has a strength to make the flaw less significant. Teamwork in essence basically, split up they have a lot of flaws, but with all of them together it doesn't show as much.
I already planned to emphasize this in chapter two or three.
Okay. Sorry if that part didn't help much... c:
I understand the explanation of them does seem kind of pointless but if they were the only magic users and Kevin only dates one of them his whole life how likely do you think it is for magic to make it more than a couple generations before dying out? Take the question part as a hint to where I plan to go with the story at some point. If possible I will try to pump out a chapter every 3 days, but I'm putting more effort into this story than my other and I really want this one to do well. So you're review was helpful. Personally I always thought it helps to know a characters personality but that is just me I guess. I might take it out later. I do plan to add parts when they get split up or found out or captured or something to make their flaws more obvious but haven't decided how. That will probably be chapter three or four. I don't want to add something like have someone get captured or discovered and arrested or something without first giving it a lot of thought. I have given it a lot but haven't yet decided how or when but it will happen by chapter 5 that I DO guarantee. Like you said it's lame to have perfect characters. I have the intention to point out each character and the flaws all about the same time. It might be chapter 3 or 4 but will happen for sure in 5 otherwise. Think of it like this, they recently started to control their magic powers at will. If they get captured or split up now they would probably be killed, nobody likes a main character dying early. If they can better control the magic though, they have a chance. I also have no intention of saying the magic is limitless , it has limits which will be emphasized later. Depending on how well they control it. Like when Kevin goes berserk against the crabs he wasn't in control he was aware of what was happening but similar to blacking out no longer in control of his body. After which he passed out completely because he used to much power and it was more than he could handle. Hence a limit based on the amount of control. But you made some good points. As for making you cringe I assume you mean the kisses? In which case I should mention when I was 5 or 6 I dated a girl named Megan, we kissed a lot. She is no longer alive which is probably what started my first time I was depressed. But Megan and Kevin in the story is reflected by how me and her were back then, nerdy 5 year olds that kissed a lot. I will opt to leave that out a lot. But that is why I put that in. To be specific I meant to say the characters were all 10 years old though. Megan who I was with when I was 5 died when her drunk useless piece of crap dad came home one day and decided to shoot her mother, then her, then he crashed into a pole down their street and barely survived. He is now serving a life sentence with no chance of parol and no option for bail. But that was why I decided to put it in anyway.
Ok. I simply meant that to make a good story, it's better to spread out your character's personalities throughout the story. You don't want to just tell the reader everything at the very beginning. It's better if you have them discover their traits.
As for the cringing part... Um, no, that's not what I meant... It was just for the points I told you about.
And if the characters are ten, I honestly don't know why they're kissing. 10 year olds don't kiss....
I am really sorry about your friend. I don't really know what to say about that, it must be extremely heartbreaking for you. I am sincerely sorry.
It must be an ohio thing, kids here usually get their first kiss in first grade or fifth here. People who get to middle school here and haven't are usually the ones who are simply ignored by everyone, or annoying people. I know in smith elementary school where I went more than 90% of the kids had their first kiss before they were 10. But that might just be us crazy Ohioans, either way I was mimicking what happened to me but that's something I didn't plan to have put in to much, I was hesitant to begin with. But when two people love each other, or are young and don't know better deciding they are old enough to be boyfriend and girlfriend they will kiss regardless of age. I know pretty much every guy in the school did not just me. Not saying it was ok or right, just saying stuff like that DOES happen even if you don't see it.
It must be an ohio thing, kids here usually get their first kiss in first grade or fifth here. People who get to middle school here and haven't are usually the ones who are simply ignored by everyone, or annoying people. I know in smith elementary school where I went more than 90% of the kids had their first kiss before they were 10. But that might just be us crazy Ohioans, either way I was mimicking what happened to me but that's something I didn't plan to have put in to much, I was hesitant to begin with. But when two people love each other, or are young and don't know better deciding they are old enough to be boyfriend and girlfriend they will kiss regardless of age. I know pretty much every guy in the school did not just me. Not saying it was ok or right, just saying stuff like that DOES happen even if you don't see it.
It must be an ohio thing, kids here usually get their first kiss in first grade or fifth here. People who get to middle school here and haven't are usually the ones who are simply ignored by everyone, or annoying people. I know in smith elementary school where I went more than 90% of the kids had their first kiss before they were 10. But that might just be us crazy Ohioans, either way I was mimicking what happened to me but that's something I didn't plan to have put in to much, I was hesitant to begin with. But when two people love each other, or are young and don't know better deciding they are old enough to be boyfriend and girlfriend they will kiss regardless of age. I know pretty much every guy in the school did not just me. Not saying it was ok or right, just saying stuff like that DOES happen even if you don't see it.
Okay! It probably was - and I understand the whole 5-6 year old thing, being too young to even understand.
Yeah it's something you don't usually see happen. But I imagine it's everywhere. Us Ohioans are crazy though, especially Clevelanders like me. Cleveland is the 5th most dangerous city in the country, and 3rd most gang active. You have to be tough, stupid, or lack a fear of death to live here. I grew up here, I'm usually a sweet talker or so I have been told, but I have a thug like side as well. Most gangs are too afraid to shoot when I am nearby two tried. A story I would happily go into anytime you want just pm asking about it. People usually turn around and walk away. If they see me and know who I am. I don't have to fight people here because most of our worst local criminals are crazy but know they would not last 10 seconds against me. Ask me about it sometime.