E - Everyone

Children Of Shadows Chapter Five Yggdrassil

Kevin starts by leaving a note in the shack on the table and one under Megan's pillow. He took a deep breath and let out a long sigh as he walked out. Not even two steps out the door he noticed he couldn't move and saw hi feet frozen to the ground up to his knees.

"What are you doing Megan." He looked around but didn't see her. He knew the clearing had no blind spots, and her crystals only formed at close range. Plus he knew she couldn't make it THIS solid. This wasn't hers, but then who was it. He saw at the tree line a girl stepping out from behind the closest tree. She was.maybe two years younger than Megan. But something was off, her skin was almost ghost white, her hair was white as snow, and she wore a white sundress that looked like it was made from some other world.

"You will die if you do it!" She said.

"Um who are you?" Kevin asked.

"Yggdrassil" she responded.

"As in the tree of the world?" Kevin asked.

"That's the one" she answered with a cheerful smile. "I'm glad you know the tale so many forget who and what gives them life these days." She sounded annoyed now.

"It's my favorite story, I would love to hear it's true version when I return but I'm in a bit of a hurry at the moment. So if you don't mind I really must be going." He said.

"Not yet you don't!" She pointed at him and the crystal instantly covered everything but his head. "If you go you will die, your too important because you're one of a handful of people who have the power to change the world for the better. I can't let you die just yet, I got to much riding on you."

He tried igniting to break out when she pointed at him and he felt a tornado like gust hit him. This girl is dangerous he thought. " I am! You're thinking this girl is dangerous, yes I am, very much so. It's why nobody has ever found me. As a tree I mean, that and one other reason I won't say. I told you, if you go you'll die, I can't afford to let that happen."

He just noticed it was as if time around him was frozen, a leaf nearby was even in stuck in thin air not moving. Then realized how time was frozen. "Look Yggdrassil, no offense but I'm going." "Oh" she cut him off. "How do you plan to escape me then?" She asked in curiosity.

"Well either you keep me here until I starve to death in which case you lose me anyways. Or you let me go and I chase the bandit who will lead me to the death I already expected and I assume you know how it will happen."

She broke her crystals, "fine since you're so stubborn I will come to. I'm curious about you anyway to be honest. But I am older than you think, this body isn't real, just way of interacting with humans. I Yggdrassil the tree am as old as the world itself as you know."

Kevin took not even two steps when lightning bolts shot at his feet. "Now she appears." Kevin sighed "Yukio what are you doing here?" He asked.

"Two things, first making sure you're ready for this, the other you have to win against me to find out." Yukio looked at Yggdrassil standing on the opposite side of him observing her with a "I'm unimpressed" sort of look. "And this is?"

"Yggdrassil tree of the world, and you are Yukio Shito born in the capital.." a fierce lighting bolt shot inches from Kevin before being deflected. "And your dead in you speak another word girl." Yggdrassil laughed and said "if you say so" then went back to observing.

"You're from the capital?" Kevin asked when two bolts just as fierce shot at him and were deflected by Yggdrassil. "You will never speak of that again."

"Fine by me, just never knew that. We all eventually have at least one secret we keep, I don't yet but will someday."

"Then prove you can beat me!" Yukio challenged.

He put up his hand and said "five seconds! You will be down in five seconds."

Suddenly a thousand or more bolts shot past him but he already moved out of the way and was completely covered in purple flames that got turned black as she shot a thousand or more a second time but missed again. In a panic realizing he was almost halfway she put a hand to the sky and the sky darkened with vicious lightning striking all over encircling her almost perfectly on all sides with a half meter around her that was safe. But when she looked he was no longer their, she felt his hand on her right shoulder. "And this makes five seconds, you lose." He removed his hands swept her legs and planted a light punch in her back just enough to make sure she was now completely off balance.

Kevin put her hand on Yukio's back. "You accidentally chipped a bone, she wouldn't feel it at the moment but give me a second." A green light came from Yggdrassil's hand. "It's been fixed. Be more careful in the future, you held back a lot against her but clearly not enough with the punch."

Yukio stood up and swung at Yggdrassil who vanished into the air. "I don't like her."

Yggdrassil appeared behind a tree nearby. "You missed, but in your defense. Nobody would succeed so it's not surprising."

"I know you don't like me but just tell him your other reason, I have delayed him enough."

Yukio stared at Yggdrassil irritated. "I got myself exiled for the same reason I purposely got caught by Flint, and requested to be sent with you." Yukio said staring at Yggdrassil the whole time.

"Good I guess three is better than two."

"No." Yggdrassil said "I said I would follow you because I find you interesting. Not to keep you alive. I disappear as a defense mechanism when I sense to much hostility at one time. I cannot participate in a battlefield even if I wanted to."

"So you're like a personal healer for us then? To heal us after a fight." Kevin asked.

"Nope, not unless it might alter your lifespan from my doing nothing. I'm here because I'm curious nothing more."

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Holiday30
Review

Hey, bro loved chapter five and I have to say.....I got a new favorite character. I love Yggdrasil, I think mostly because of her mysterious ways. You know what I mean it's like we don't know who the hell she is and yet she keeps us enter twine trying to figure out who she is. I do feel like she is going to play a big role thoe in this book. The only problem I had was minor things like I seen the word her or she but Kevin was the one performing the action or the one talking. But over all I did love this chapter and can not wait to read chapter 6

User avatar
Raindeer
Review

Hi, Kevin! Eternal back for a review on this series! :D Oh, and happy review day!

Let's get started..

It's more of a grammatical error - but one that still effects your story nonetheless - is when you switch tenses. Sometimes, you're in present,sometimes in past. This can make your story seem jumbled up and sometimes even hard to read, so when you're going back and editing this, try and catch those mistakes.

More grammar! (Fun...) I noticed you had many fewer grammar mistakes than last chapter. Awesome! That's great, and it really made it easier to read.

What sort of irked me (chapter wise, no more grammar) is the fact that this was only about Yggdrassil. Now, this is okay sometimes, but other times you want to be adding more things that go in in a chapter (at least this is what I think). Don't change it for this chapter, but perhaps keep it in mind for future chapters. :)

~ EternalRain - Team Ketchup

I have not switched tenses in any of the chapters, not sure where that misunderstanding is coming from. This chapter was originally longer but I reduced it when I took out certain parts I felt were added to soon and could be a lot better later. Other parts because I put them in the previous or following chapter. A handful or so I decided to remove all together because I just didn't think it fit the story at the moment. This was a lot shorter than intended but without being too short to make a good chapter. Introducing Yggdrassil was the focus of this chapter, although I originally had two things to do in the chapter.

User avatar
Tuesday
Review
Tuesday wrote a review · Sun Mar 29, 2015 2:01 pm

Hello Tuesday here for a review. i like to begin that i have never reviewed anything with chapters (or rather never really have the guts to do one). Anyway, throughout this chapter i was wondering; is Kevin telling a story then it transfers into that story then back to Kevin's P.O.V? I got a little confused there. Also the imagery in the story is nicely settled I mean, i can imagine the lighting bolts few feet from Kevin. Plus this is the third chapter, and I haven't read the rest of the other chapters to begin with.

There is a few changes that i think you could use in this chapter:

Yukio put her hand on Yukio's back.
I don't think you would need to say that the double names since you use a pronoun or something (like her back). Also maybe instead of Yukio, you might have meant Yggdrassil since later on in that same paragraph, i noticed that it states that a green light comes from Yggdrassil's hand.

There are some noticed capitalize mistakes at the beginning of some of speaking parts and sometimes writers do that to add an effect or sometimes they just forget that (which could be a common mistake in story or poems).

Also I think this chapter kinda like made me drop into a canyon, then after a while someone says me then after they have saved me, i fall again. (that is how most chapters in a novel are about since they have parts with boredom or sometimes they could have a dragon fighting a polar bear-- which we know who would win--)

But overall, from what I have read is that sometimes, i can't review the greatest stories, yet times after that I might in the nearby future. Also this chapter of this wonderful novel, with the mistakes needed to be fixed, could be a wonderful in itself and which could go for most chapters.

Anyway, I hope to review more work for you sometime.

Farewell,
Tuesday

This is chapter 5 it said it in the title. Didn't notice that Yukio mistake but I will fix it now.

This is chapter 5 it said it in the title. Didn't notice that Yukio mistake but I will fix it now.



A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.
— Markus Zusak, The Book Thief