You and I we are the same
but what exactly are we?
We do not belong to reality
but are found in the deepest corners of hopes dreams and wishes.
We live in rhymes,
We strive in rhythm.
We do not forget
nor are forgotten.
We are everywhere,
In minds,in thoughts,in books.
We are the creators of extraordinary things,
We are Poets...
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139,646 Literary Works • 672,640 Reviews
Hello there July,
I really enjoyed your poem. It was deep, simple, to the point and easy to understand. I am not big on poetry myself, probably because I can not write it. Although I do not like it very much I admire people who can write a beautiful poem such as this. I love the fact that it did not just relate to you and a few other poets. It relates to all poets since you are adressing everyone. You did a wonderful job. The only thing I could suggest to you, although I may be wrong since I know SQUAT about poetry, maybe think off a more original title for your poem. Maybe something like Where the Beauty Lies or Why We are Poets.
Hi, July Ruby!
and I think that you can do a much better job. Instead of narrating this to us in the same "casual" language that people generally use in every day speech, why not get creative with the words, and use words we don't always use, or use the ones we do use often in a new way?
Given the nature of this poem, I think you have a lot of room to reach beyond what you've covered here, and expand this idea, because, in my opinion, I think you've only covered a minimum of what you could do with this poem, dear.
To start, because you're talking about poets, the possibilities of word play are nearly endless here. Here, you've kind of narrated this pretty... blatantly, to say the least,
We do not belong to reality -- how do we not belong? Do we live on stars and wish on houses, or live upside down? Show us what you mean by these things you speak of, and incorporate images, too, because poetry is all about painting images with words, dear.
Lastly, I didn't find this very poetic, not only because it didn't have too much imagery or metaphor, but it also lacked a lot of standard devices, such as meter, or rhyme or any of that, and not to say that poetry cannot be freestyle, but it was a little bit too freestyle for a poem of its caliber, dear, and I think it could benefit from a touch of structure.
Keep it up!
June
Hey Hi Hello! This was quite an awesome poem! I enjoyed reading this very much. But in my opinion there was one thing that wasn't bad, but could possibly be changed.
Perhaps you could move the word but down to the beginning of the first line. I don't find it to be that big of a deal, but it would just make it a little nicer, because reality rhymes with the previous line and the word but starts the next line, so I suggest you move it down. Other than that great work!
Hey July,
Your grammar was good. Your flow was a bit off in some places. I didn't really get any imagery. I understood the poem (That's a first.) It was a nice read. It made me want to become a poet lol. I really liked it and it wasn't too long or too short.
Keep Writing.
Anger~:D