Young Writers Society

I also really enjoyed this piece.

july4ruby wrote:I wish I could write
but I cant define

the feelings inside
roaming in my mind

I really liked your poem because I could relate to it, and somehow feel emotions by reading your poems. It was fantastique.

I really like this poem! You told the readers when you don't feel so great, you look at the moon.

But the only thing I'll add to it is description. Give a little more feel to it. You know what I mean? Then the reader would probably feel like you, enjoying the moonlight. I, as your reader, felt a little of what you would've felt. Here's an example:

When the stars shine
under the moonlight

When the stars shine #FF0000 ">When the twinkling stars "smile"
under the moonlight

This is a nice poem, and has a great idea. It is maybe a little to simple for my taste, and quite literal, but this is your poetry, so I can not complain. Overall I thought it was good and touching. Very Nice

And about the punctuation I am not very good at it but I will try to work it out.

thanx for the support ill try to improve my works .i just started and am kinda getting a hang of it.

Welcome july, i love this poem of yours to much that am not going to critique anything.
All i will say is keep writing

July! Welcome to YWS! =D
I hope you have fun here. ^^

Now, I have to tell you- I don't know anything about poems. I'm a story kind of person, but I will give you what I can.

When the stars shine
under the moonlight