Despair.

I laugh and I cry
I love and I hate
I want and I give
I am like you Unlike the others, I like this line. If you read it correctly, it means, you are like everybody else.
But why am I suffering?
Why am I still hurting? The still throws the flow off
I lie here bleeding
I cry and shriek This is a bad line. It sounds too much like the beginning, and feels as if it should be placed in the beggining, or not at all
As the pain cuts through me
As the steady rhythm of my heart waversTake away "as"
And I whimper in agony
I wander through the dark streets
Enveloped in the dull gray clouds of reality
I cannot dwell on hopes
I cannot see the light anymore Anymore throws off the flow
An eternal darkness
Is all I see in my past
And all I have left for the future
Pain, anguish and despair.

Hello there ruby. I am here for the review. You poem has a good flow which makes it sound good while reading it out but i do have some nitpicks. So lets get down to it right away.

I laugh and I cry
I love and I hate
I want and I give
I am like you like you? Better try rewording this line.
But why am I suffering?
Why am I still hurting? Why is it still hurting? This would sound better.
I lie here bleeding
I cry and shriek cry and shriek are more or less the same thing
As the pain cuts through me
As the steady rhythm of my heart wavers Like this. Steady rhythm wavers? Good
And I whimper in agony
I wander through the dark streets This is a sudden change of scene. Doesn't quite fit in here.
Enveloped in the dull gray clouds of reality Good description of the clouds.
I cannot dwell on hopes
I cannot see the light anymore Does not sound good. Try rewriting it.
An eternal darkness Like it.
Is all I see in my past
And all I have left for the future
Pain, anguish and despair.

This is a really good poem. The flow of rhythm is really good and I loved the way you used the words. Keep it up.

july4ruby,
I really liked this poem! TThe rhythym flows really well, and the words work together quite nicely. The emotions are displayed very delicately and very strong - good combination!
Just a couple little nit-picks though....

july4ruby wrote:I laugh and I cry
I love and I hate
I want and I give
I am like you -you are like who? A description would be helpful.
But why am I suffering?
Why am I still hurting? -'still hurting" is confusing because the reader doesn't know why you were hurting in the first place.
I lie here bleeding
I cry and shriek
As the pain cuts through me
As the steady rhythm of my heart wavers -Oooh, good!
And I whimper in agony
I wander through the dark streets -i dont think this line fits, you've gone from pure emotion, to an action.
Enveloped in the dull gray clouds of reality -i like this line, but 'reality' sort of rhymes with 'agony' and it makes the rhythym falter just a smidge.
I cannot dwell on hopes
I cannot see the light anymore
An eternal darkness
Is all I see in my past
And all I have left for the future
Pain, anguish and despair. - Good ending, great way to sum up the piece, and tie in the title.