Hi there mintyleaf! I'm here for a quick review on your poem
Since this is such a short poem, I'm going to go through line by line and give you my comments/suggestions/impressions.
ribcage of thorns
This is by far my favourite line! I like how unique the imagery is, it paints a vivid picture in my mind.
holds a wilted
I think that you could choose a stronger word than "wilted" - a wilted flower is a bit of a cliche idea, and in a poem with only 11 words, each word counts. Two possible substitutions could be "withered" or "waning" - but there are definitely lots of other words that would work as well!
heart
with
I like your use of line breaks for how you separated "holds a wilted/heart". I'd suggest changing the following two lines a bit, to match, something like "with a lolling/head". That's because right now, "with" is an accented word, but I personally think "head" would make more sense to emphasize.
a lolling head.
This isn't necessarily a critique, but I'm not sure what "a lolling head" is exactly referring to? The heart and ribcage are both part of the abdomen, but the head isn't, so I don't see a clear connection there - unless you could be referring to the "head" of the flower (aka the wilting heart). Right now how it's phrased, it sounds to me like the ribcage is holding both the heart and the head -> I'd either suggest specifying what type of head you're talking about, or specifying the relationship between the head and the heart. Hopefully that makes sense, but if not, feel free to ask for clarification!
Overall, I really like the imagery you're using, and I think the simplicity works really well for this poem. Two little suggestions would be word choice and line breaks, but my main one is expanding/clarifying how the head connects to the rest of the poem!
I hope this review is helpful <3 Keep writing!
whatcha
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