They do not have straitjackets or jail cells
But I am neither psychopath nor criminal
They fear what they don't understand
The demons that are not visible
I remain unchanged by each word
But die with each fearful retraction
They forget I am just a girl
A girl defined by their overreaction
The howls of the wolf echo
Louder than the voice in my head
If they won't treat me as a human
I will become a beast instead
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Superb Man ! Loved your work
This is brilliant!! Superb job done by you. The words in poem seem like your heart is talking to the reader. This is the best poem I have ever come across. You have very efficiently mixed the emotions with the words. You have raised a good point in this poem and that is society will never understand a girl nor they are understanding. I am very inspired by this piece of writing
A little piece of advice for you is that if you split this poem in stanzas it will look more amazing !!
But overall it's fantastic. Keep writing like this.
The last couplet in your poem has just hit my brain hard
Good job.
Mahvash.
Greetings,
The writing in this piece is well thought out, that much is obvious. I appreciate the rhyme scheme, shortness, and the subject matter is interesting as well.
As the reader, I felt lost from the beginning due to not knowing who "they" were. There was no context or immediate clue to signify who that was. Along the way I attributed it to "society" I presume. It's difficult to connect to the poems message if the reader doesn't know what the opposition is. It's like a story without a villain. The poem seems to want to comment on the ideas "they" have of her, it doesn't achieve this affect as well as it could since there's never a focus on who or what "they" are.
I commend you on your diction. While not boring and bland, not over the top and complex. Writing that tries too hard tends to seem pretentious and too simplistic creates an almost childish style. You balanced this poem out well. My personal favorite part of the piece was the transformation of mindset right at the end. It was like a smack, which is a great way of ending a poem that reared its hand such as this one.
For improvements, the immediate recommendation is the title. The title is lackluster. I also can't correlate the connection. The poem seems to speak of being misunderstood and then a transformation at the end but the title suggests it's a question of what it is. The second piece of advice I have is to recognize that there are characters in your story and whether they have name or not they're relevant. In this case "they". Give them life and your writing will improve all the more.
You're a natural poet, your voice speaks through the medium. Let it be heard with all the life in you.