E - Everyone

Connection - 24

by Rook

~1057

“I don’t understand, Ms. Hope, why would anyone aboard that ship need a record like this?” The secretary was a supremely muscular woman whose bicep looked almost as big around as Kerra’s head. Kerra supposed it was her job to look intimidating and rebuff any requests the public made.

“They’re interested in the genetics of the last couple centuries because there’s a high probability that their own genetics will tend toward a similar outcome.”

“But we’ve seen no genetic indicators related to anomalies, why would it matter?”

“We haven’t seen any so far. The scientists on that ship are the best our society has ever seen. Maybe they just want to do research with a couple centuries of data.” Kerra threw her hands up into the air. “I don’t really know all of their reasons. I’m no scientist, I’m just a messenger. I was just asked to get it for them!”

“This is highly classified information, Ms. Hope. People are entitled to their privacy…”

“I realize this, but I believe I am an authorized governmental employee, able to look at whatever information the captain on the ship requires, and this is information she needs. I don’t see how people that are light-years away could possibly misuse this information. The only person who’s on this earth who needs to see it is me, and I have perfect clearance on a need-to-know basis. And I need to know. The documents, please.”

The secretary grudgingly handed over a tablet. “Fine. But don’t let this out of your sight. I can’t stress how highly classified the information is.”

Kerra took the tablet. “No one else will even see it. You have my word.”

--

It had all been a lie of course. Kerra felt supremely guilty as she scrolled through the tablet. It was a comprehensive database of all the people of Abyssia, and all of the information the government had about them. This included normal things like age, address, and occupation, but it also had some other interesting information such as family and friend connections, political leanings, cybernetic enhancements, and, what Kerra was looking for: information about anomalies.

She sorted the list by anomalies, removing citizens of Abyssia who had none or very common ones like webbed fingers or glowing eyes. Then she went through and picked off any that were clearly no help in breaking into an apartment without a trace, like sweat that smells like citrus, or insanely fast-growing hair. Most of the anomalies would be no help in breaking in, but there were a few that Kerra thought might help.

There were several people who had some various forms of “boneless,” which might allow them to get into Ruth’s house through the vents. There were also some very small people that this applied to as well. Then of course there were people like Kerra who had had to replace their skin. Some didn’t have genetic material in their cells at all. Some never lost skin or hair. There were a couple of people who could phase through walls or teleport, and one who could even manipulate time a little. There was one who could manipulate thoughts as well, though only with people they were looking at. Kerra didn’t see how that could have gotten the person through Ruth’s door or left no DNA evidence, but it might explain how it looked like Ruth had killed herself.

Going carefully through the long list of citizens and anomalies was tedious, but Kerra felt like she was learning about the citizens of Abyssia more deeply and intimately than she could otherwise. What would the everyday life of a person who had two mouths be like? Kerra couldn’t imagine it, but for thirty citizens of Abyssia, that was considered normal.

Kerra tried not to be nosy, but she couldn’t help but notice whenever the name of one of her friends was next. It surprised Kerra that most of them actually had anomalies that she was unaware of. Drigg, for example, had an extra set of small, nonfunctioning lungs in his chest. He’d never told Kerra about them before, but she’d never asked about his anomalies. It’s wasn’t exactly polite to ask.

When she got to her own name, curiosity drove her to expand all the details. It was kind of creepy how much they knew about her and how much accuracy they had. She had a special section that most people didn’t have about how she had been put into stasis. That section read like a human had wrote it, like it was a short biography, and Kerra wondered whose job it had been to write it.

She read through the part that listed her movements over the last few years. It had a general time table of her everyday schedule and the days that she had deviated from it significantly. It listed the night that she had gone to Shandi’s life celebration party as well as the day she had gone to the Heats. Kerra guessed that the government hadn’t actually cared she was down there after all.

She made it to the section that listed some of her most crucial likes and dislikes before she couldn’t read on. She hadn’t realized how accurately you could paint a picture of someone in just a few words. She collapsed the information about herself and moved on.

Eventually, she had narrowed down her list to several hundred candidates—or should she call them suspects? It had taken the better part of a week working practically nonstop, and now she had to work through these names at a deeper level, looking any other clues like motive or location.

What frustrated her was that many people had removed the identification chips that informed reported their location. Kerra had never thought twice about her own, knowing that she probably would never have a reason to remove it. Not only that, but if she removed it, it would be significantly more difficult to use the elevator systems and get into her apartment. She’d have to manually jury rig the front door to her apartment to open manually somehow.

But it was clear that some people didn’t like the government knowing their every move. For those people, the only thing under the “recorded movements” was “Identification chip likely removed” or “Identification chip destroyed” or “Identification chip inaccessible.”

(A/N: this chapter isn’t done but I’m outta time! Tune in next time for some more excel sheet sorting or whatever lol)

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User avatar
Que
Review
Que wrote a review · Sat Jan 12, 2019 12:22 am

Hey~ back here to review again. :)

The secretary was a supremely muscular woman whose bicep looked almost as big around as Kerra’s head.

The secretary to the council? It might help to be a bit more specific here, especially since we just came from an Everen chapter.

I realize this, but I believe I am an authorized governmental employee, able to look at whatever information the captain on the ship requires, and this is information she needs.

Dang, who knew Kerra could be such a good liar? She just rocked it. :)

There were several people who had some various forms of “boneless,” which might allow them to get into Ruth’s house through the vents. There were also some very small people that this applied to as well. Then of course there were people like Kerra who had had to replace their skin. Some didn’t have genetic material in their cells at all. Some never lost skin or hair. There were a couple of people who could phase through walls or teleport, and one who could even manipulate time a little.

Woah, that’s a ton of anomalies. Kerra is so self-conscious about herself that it always makes me think that everyone else is pretty much normal, except for maybe some of the gang members. But it seems much more like a large percent of the population has an interesting set of anomalies, so maybe Kerra isn’t really that alone? It’s also very interesting that they’re all kept track of so thoroughly. You’d think they would be a little bit more secretive.

She read through the part that listed her movements over the last few years. It had a general time table of her everyday schedule and the days that she had deviated from it significantly. It listed the night that she had gone to Shandi’s life celebration party as well as the day she had gone to the Heats. Kerra guessed that the government hadn’t actually cared she was down there after all.

More woah. The government keeps track of all these tiny details? Why and how? If there’s actually that much information, I would think it would have been even harder for Kerra to get access to it. Also, shouldn’t it be able to say where someone was at the time of Ruth’s death? That could be very helpful. And it seems like it wouldn’t matter if someone tried to hide the murder, since Kerra was recorded as going into the Heats.

What frustrated her was that many people had removed the identification chips that informed reported their location.

Okay, now I get it about how there is so much info on things--but some of the questions still stand. And it also might be good to bring this up a little earlier in the chapter? Just the idea of the chips in general, not necessarily the taking them out part. It might help with the information here.

Pretty cool chapter! Kerra is getting all edgy and lying like a professional, and there's all this neat database stuff that I love. I'm not sure it all logistically hangs together? But I'm also not sure your intentions with this stuff, so it's probably fine. I also dig the research and elimination approach to the mystery, and it goes along well with Everen's investigation--they're both parallel plots and different strategies, so that's just really fun to read. :)

This was fantastic! Happy writing.

-Q

User avatar
Shady
Review
Shady wrote a review · Sun Dec 30, 2018 9:09 pm

Heya fort,

Shady back again. I'm really running out of clever opening lines to these reviews, as you already know what to expect from my reviews and you already know that I'm on a Review Day rampage in the name of the Red Team. So, let's just hop right on in, shall we?

The secretary was a supremely muscular woman whose bicep looked almost as big around as Kerra’s head.


Hahaha, I love this. Gives us good visual images of the secretary, even though I don't know literally anything else about this woman.

Kerra felt supremely guilty as she scrolled through the tablet.


So this is a nitpick of supremely anal proportions. But "surpremely" isn't an overly common descriptor to use, and you've already described the secretary as "surpremely" muscular, so the repetition of the word here to describe Kerra's guilt stood out and feels a bit out of place. Perhaps you could look for a replacement word for one of them? It doesn't particularly matter which one, I suppose, but a personal opinion is that I would replace the second one, since I just really like the imagery that the supremely muscular vibes gave.

This included normal things like age, address, and occupation, but it also had some other interesting information such as family and friend connections, political leanings, cybernetic enhancements


Creeeeeepyyyy.

like sweat that smells like citrus


Your novel is so insanely creative and I just absolutely LOVE it.

It had a general time table of her everyday schedule and the days that she had deviated from it significantly. It listed the night that she had gone to Shandi’s life celebration party as well as the day she had gone to the Heats.


I guess this is a bit of an aside, but I am wondering how the government is able to keep such close tabs on people. Is it just her, since she's a government official? Or do they keep such close tabs on every citizen? How do they monitor that movement so accurately and so quickly? Do they just have people whose jobs are to keep those files updated? And what's the purpose of it? I mean obviously if she's like on a terrorist watchlist or something it would make sense to keep a close eye on her -- but why does the government care who goes to what party, you know? Just seems a bit odd to me.

What frustrated her was that many people had removed the identification chips that informed reported their location. Kerra had never thought twice about her own, knowing that she probably would never have a reason to remove it.


Ahh, perhaps I should keep reading before I complain about things not making sense. Whoops. Sorry.

~ ~ ~

Ack, I see your author's note and I resent it (though I fully understand... LMS is brutal, yo). Obviously you'll want to play around with your chapter division once you go through to revise, but I'm sure you're already planning on that, seeing as you said this chapter isn't done.

I enjoyed this chapter -- Kerra having to lie to get the information (which, in the few chapters I've been following, already seems like something uncharacteristic for her) and the sorting through it. It's fascinating to watch her on her own little detective mission to find justice for her mother.

I'm on to the next chapter!

Keep writing!

~Shady 8)

It sounds as if Kerra is a stubborn character who knows what is good for her!! Anyways, time for a quick review.... The thing that I notice a lot in your writing is that you use the word "she" when you should be either using her name, or finding a better way to say what you are trying to say. I'm not trying to imply that what you are writing is boring, but I think you could spice it up a little bit. I don't know... Try throwing in an unsuspected twist or a weird series of events. The best way to hook in more readers is to spice it up a bit. Make it have a suspense that will draw your readers into it. I do apologize if I sound brutal or rude in any way. I am not trying to. And please don't take it personal.. I enjoyed reading it, it put a smile on my face because it was different from everything else i have been reading. Anyways, keep writing! Don't give up. Happy writings, and great job!! Have a great day!! 'Tato out. :D :D :D :D



We all share half a braincell that bounces like a windows screensaver
— WeepingWisteria