Author’s note to any reader who may jump into this chapter without reading the last one: I didn’t end the last chapter in a good spot, so this one is starting up in the middle of a conversation.
~1123 words
“Not if I can help it,” Kerra said with a laugh. “Although, as my sister pointed out, they could hardly fire me.”
“Then you’ve got to tell us!” Maru said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
Kerra had met Maru within a week of being brought out of stasis. Kerra had been looking for a good bookshop because one of her favorite book series had been totally completed (and the author had died, of course) while she had been in stasis.
Kerra loved reading physical books best, and she wanted to get her hands on any of that series that might exist, which is how she had found Dark Lake and its somewhat sketchy print shop. She’d met Maru that day and they’d talked for hours.
Maru had known quite a bit about the topics that were relevant during Kerra’s life before stasis. Most people Kerra’s age didn’t care about history hundreds of years in the past. Maru was practically old enough where those events were almost recent when she was in school.
Maru loved history and enjoyed writing about it based on researching in other books, so when she’d met Kerra, she was ecstatic. She’d interview Kerra about this or that technology or political move, and while admitted she didn’t understand a lot of what happened in her day, her answers always seemed to satisfy Maru.
“Please Kerra,” Drigg begged. “I haven’t heard anything interesting in this place all day.”
“Drigg, you’re surrounded by books. There is no place in Abyssia that is more filled with physically interesting things than Dark Lake.”
Drigg was Maru’s grandson who’d come to work for her when he was just ten years old. Maru’s daughter had passed away due to anomaly-related complications, and Drigg didn’t have anyone else but Maru to go to.
“It’s clear that she’s never going to tell us, Drigg. I guess she doesn’t care about us and our poor, wasted minds, slaving away in this bookshop day after day, surrounded by false stories and never able to live one ourselves or even hear our friends’ who live for us. What ever shall we do?” Maru put a hand to her head as if she was in the uttermost depths of despair.
Kerra rolled her eyes, but said, “Fine. But you actually can’t repeat this, okay? There’s more people than just me at risk, and unlike me, some of them aren’t irreplaceable.”
“At their jobs?” Drigg asked.
“No, as in, if this story gets back to the authorities, perhaps some people will get in big trouble and maybe even be locked up or worse,” Kerra clarified grimly. “I doubt that would happen, but just in case.”
Drigg paled a little. “Alright then. I won’t tell a soul.”
Kerra cleared her throat awkwardly, unsure of how to begin. “Um, so you know my sister’s in like, a gang, right?”
Drigg and Maru both nodded.
“Well, I was talking about how much I’ve always wanted to visit the greenhouses down in the Heats.” Kerra figured that if her skin could allow her to blush, she would have. It was such a strange dream to have. “And they said they could get me down there. And so we went.”
They stared at her. “And?” Drigg demanded.
“We saw a big room of basil and it smelled like heaven and tasted so fresh, and then we saw tomatoes, but they weren’t ripe yet, but Blast… I mean, one of my friends found a big crate of ripe ones. And then we saw a room full of lily-of-the-valley! It was amazing I loved it so much.”
There was another moment of silence before Maru said, “Well, that’s all very well and nice dear, but what did you do?”
“What do you mean?” Kerra asked. “That’s it. We saw the greenhouses. Tasted some veggies, smelled some flowers…”
“That’s it? That’s your big illegal story?” Drigg asked incredulously.
Maru also looked unimpressed. “My dear, I’ve done far more illegal things than that. You didn’t even deface the place?”
Kerra was taken aback. “Of course not! Why would I?”
Drigg scoffed. “Who’s going to get in trouble from breaking into the greenhouses? Why all your secrecy? Maybe they’d fine you for the tomatoes and maybe for trespassing, but I bet people go down there all the time! We run an illegal printing press and the authorities haven’t cared whatsoever. You made it sound like what you were doing was an atrocity worthy of death.”
Kerra folded her arms. “I’ll have you know that we hotwired an elevator just to get down there!”
“Of course you did dear,” Maru said, “What else would you have done? Jumped?”
Kerra was beginning to feel hot as the wiring in her skin tried to keep up with the electrical signals her defensive brain was sending. “You know we did other stuff. That I hadn’t planned. My sister’s gang took stuff they weren’t supposed to take.”
Maru considered this, but Drigg rolled his eyes. “Just call it stealing. And what, did they kidnap a droid? Take a bucket full of algae with them? There’s not much mischief you can get into down there. And here you are worried we’re gonna tell someone and get your friends thrown in prison. This story’s boring. Not worth telling to anyone.”
“Hey, you wanted to hear it so bad! I don’t do this kind of thing very often. And they didn’t take algae,” she sneered. “They took a bunch of fertilizer. Seventy bags of it. I’ve been keeping it for them in my apartment. That’s right, harboring wrongfully obtained goods.”
Maru had stiffened at the mention of fertilizer. “And potentially dangerous goods at that,” she said carefully.
“Oh,” Kerra said quickly, “they’re not going to like, make a bomb or anything. Don’t worry.”
“Then why would they need that much fertilizer? I can’t imagine that they’re planning on starting a farm!” A smile crept into Maru’s voice but she still looked extremely worried.
So Kerra, seeing no way around it, explained everything, from why Shandi was leaving to Ruth’s reaction. By the end of it, Maru looked deeply sad and Drigg looked shaken.
“Godspeed,” Maru murmured when Kerra had finished. “I don’t know how she’ll make it, but I pray she will.”
And that was something else about Maru Kerra loved. Religion had almost completely died before Kerra had gone into stais, but Maru kept hers close and personal and ever-present. The only other religious people Kerra knew of now was Numbers’s parents, who, he had said were Muslim. And maybe that one guy who shouted about the end of the world near the government levels. Religion had become this rare and precious thing that intrigued Kerra, and Maru wore hers like a protective, comforting robe.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hey hey forta,
Shady back with another review for you on this lovely novel of yours. As you've probably been noticing, my openings are getting progressively less interesting with each new review that I write, and I just don't have the capacity to correct that right now, so let's just jump straight into the review, shall we? Getting started...
Hahaha, I love this. Yes, I have been in stasis for hundreds? (I don't remember, sorry :/ ) of years and everyone that I know and love is dead, and the world is entirely different than it was before -- so what's my top priority? That's right. Books. I gotta read moar books. I love it.
Wait, Kerra's real age or Kerra's now age? Gonna guess about Kerra's now age (which, btw, I can't remember if you actually told us what that age is? I've been envisioning early twenties but now I'm realizing I don't rightly know how old she actually is. And I recognize that could have been information that was lost in my sleepy review rampage, but if not, you might want to make that a bit clearer to us?)
No, no, no. BAD. Bad Kerra. THIS is why Shandi doesn't tell you anything, I bet you. You gotta keep your mouth shut when you know a secret, dork.
Hahah, aw, Kerra, you're adorable. I love it.
Yessss, it is. Leave it at that Kerra. Don't run your blabber mouth. Your friends are on the line if you do. Stahp, I beg you.
Dang it, Kerra.
~ ~ ~
So... you might have been able to tell, but this chapter caused me much angst.
I like the relationship between these characters still, and I dearly hope that they are better at keeping their mouths shut than Kerra is. Gosh. So much angst worrying about what's going to happen to the gang now. YOU'RE NOT A GOOD CRIMINAL ACCOMPLICE, KERRA. You've already told so many people about your aiding and abetting. Gosh.
Okay. Onward to the next chapter.
Keep writing!
~Shady
Hi Shikora here with a review.
What I liked
I really liked this chapter. It was very interesting. I under stood everything the people in this chapter were talking about. It was very well written. I also like it that your chapters aren't to short. If they were then it would make the story feel rushed. So great work.
Characters
I really like how you've made the reader for a relationship with the people in this book. If one of them died I would be devastated. And the way that they speed is very good. Like if on of them is sad, the way you make them talk just gives the reader the feeling they feel.
The plot
I like how your moving the plot along. It's not going to slowly or to fast. By having it at the right pace your making it feel very real. When I read I feel like them there with your characters. I'm hoping there will be meager plot twists.
Mistakes
What I can say though is that there isn't really enough description in this chapter. There is a lot of talking but not much else. I hope you get what I'm saying? Let me try to explain better. When you start a conversation with your characters you seem to forget about the environment they are in. Just try to fit in some description into some of the paragraphs here and there. It will make your story so much better. And it wont make your reader feel like there in and empty room. There are a few thing you should try to keep in mind when you writing. They are smell, feel and sound, there are a few others but those are the main ones you should try to remember. Now don't get me wrong your writing is really good. And this happens to all writers, I even do this, so don't feel bad.
Okay that's all from me I hope this helped. Never stop writing. I hope you have a great day/night. Oh and if you don't mind can you tag me next time you post?
Your friend
Shikora
-> Part Ten / Eleven
Oh no. Don't do it. Don't do it! Blimey, Kerra. I love her so much, she's an amazing character, but she can't hold her words. I think it's the dynamics that really bring her to life. Here it would have been so easy just to dump the information for plots sake, but the fact that she tried to hold back some information and yet it was so easily taunted out of her really brings it to life. It's a consistent flaw in her personality that is great to watch unfold, whilst at the same time shows her desire to be liked in a way that ties her so well to the other characters at the same time.
I particularly love how fast she went from 'we saw a room full of lilly-of-the-valley' to 'seventy bags of it. I've been keeping it for them in my apartment.' That made me laugh so hard.
How do you keep a book shop open for a few hundred years? That's crazy! I still struggle a bit with the timeframes I think.
'Maru was practically old enough where those events were almost recent when she was in school.' This bit feels kind of clunky. I like the idea of this old, old lady being one of the only people Kerra can connect to, but at the same time, the events being almost recent and her being practically old enough, make it feel a bit too forced until it's only just about plausible for the purposes of plot.
Drigg and Maru are really fun characters, and they make a nice contrast to the burdened outcasts that form the gang. I can kind of see Kerra dabbling between different worlds, and those various influences make me curios of what will become of her. She's wonderfully consistent in her personality but still so rough around the edges that make me feel like she's got a long road ahead of her.
-> Part Twelve