Theatre

Wondeful poem! As a theatre kid, I understand the struggle of daily life, and the relief we feel when we are finally onstage doing what we do best. I really relate to this poem. I also relate to the struggle of losing our seniors every year. They are the people we look up to as freshmen, the people we befriend as sophomores and juniors, and the people we must become in the end. It's scary to lose them, even scarier to become them. However, theatre will continue on and be what you make of it, especially if you are in the senior class.

My only criticism is the fact that we don't know who the author is addressing in the first line of this poem. Who is "you?" Also this poem jumps from one idea about theatre to the next instead of being one fluent idea/piece. However, I relate to it so it's fine haha!

Overall good relatable piece! Break a leg out there!

Lilith

Hi! I just want to start this out by saying that as a drama kid myself, this poem really resonates with me. I know what it's like to have seniors leave and to miss them and have the stage feel a little more empty without them. It's hard.

Now, onto the review! To review the work as a whole, the stanzas didn't fit together for me. There was a disjointed feel instead of a lyrical one, and unless you can give me an explanation of how that was a stylistic choice that, it wasn't my favorite thing in the world. It kind of disrupted the flow.

For the first stanza! I think this one is about being sad the seniors are leaving. Emphasis on the I think. This stanza can use some clarification, remember, in poetry, word choice is the name of the game. Also, punctuation. Punctuate, punctuate, punctuate. That's the principle way you pace your reader in free verse.

Second stanza: I'm pretty sure that this one is about paying tribute to the seniors who are leaving. Unless you're a senior? I don't know, it's not very clear. Clarify, clarify, clarify. You're writing this for the eighth grader in English class that hates poetry. Make it easy for them. Also, punctuation.

Third stanza: all former critiques apply.

Overall, I'm in love with the overall message that I think this poem was going for, and with a little polishing, it could be amazing. Keep writing!

I really like thissssss!

Hey there, OniiChan, it's ya girl, Leafpool, here with a review.
After reading this, I am very confused.

FIRST STANZA:
Are you crying over the seniors, and I'm assuming said seniors are high school seniors. Like what Sunset Tree said; you are only telling and not showing. The last two lines just don't...what...dear gosh this needs serious work.

SECOND STANZA:
This makes much more sense, but the last line (which I'm assuming is regarding the end of the play or whatever this horrible "poem" is about. Sorry, but that's just my opinion) sounds too morbid for the rest of your poem.

LAST STANZA:
It's sweet and makes sense, definitely the best part of the poem.

Sorry if I came off a little harsh, but overall, edit this and it should be much better!

Two problems with this poem:
A. You're telling and not showing. I wish the first stanza had the speaker show us what his strife feels like instead of just saying that there is strife within him. I wish he showed us his sorrow instead of just saying that he's crying.

B is I'm unsure of the focus of the narrative. You mention seniors in the last stanza but I don't know the context of that, are you referring to old people or high school seniors? And why does the speaker seem to be sad about a specific person in the first line, but then it's a group of people afterwards?

I do like the second stanza, and how you convey hope even in terrible times. Overall not a bad start, though. keep up the good effort