my head collapsing upon itself
a burning sensation
how do i describe how i feel to you
you wouldn’t understand
would you?
i can’t tell
i can’t tell anything apart
it’s all just a blur of color
vibrant saturated color
it gently sways across my eyes
finally a shape comes through
your hand reaching for mine
your repeat yourself for eternity
whispering ‘you’re ok’
but i hear muffled speech
my weak arms bend out for you
you clasp my hand
and the world makes sense
solid shapes and the crisp sounds of your voice
feeling the warm sensations of love
that’s why i couldn’t see you
or hear you
or feel you
that’s why
i hide.
Poets Note:
Hope you enjoyed it! This was a love poem to no one in particular. I guess when I find my soulmate it’ll feel like this(?) Either way I’d love feedback and I’ll try to post more often. Thanks!!
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This is a great poem.
it holds an optimistic view on how falling in love or being in love feels like. I love how this implies that life is gray, an empty canvas until that one person comes along, like that person was the match that lit your flame (ugh i'm too sappy).
"it’s all just a blur of color, vibrant saturated color", i like how you continue to explain the 'blur of color' in the next line, it gives nice imagery, though if i understand correctly, you're stating that the colors are vibrant and pure BEfore the person comes into your life....and that's kind of contrasting to the theme of the poem, don't you think?
"you repeat yourself for eternity
whispering ‘you’re OK’"
So these lines are easily my favorite. I love how this gives us the promise of forever, of the person you love supporting you, guiding you and being with you, 'till death do us part'.
i got a little confused at the next line, though: "whispering ‘you’re ok,' but i hear muffled speech". so this is again my brain saying 'that's contradicting' because the words of the person you love should be clear, right? unless of course, that's not what you meant.
this is lovely though, i mostly get what you mean, and i hope love feels like this.
Hey! This is quite an interesting poem! I love how you portray being lovesick- "a burning sensation", "i can’t tell anything apart/it’s all just a blur of color/vibrant saturated color". I do struggle with trying to comprehend "that’s why i couldn’t see you/or hear you/or feel you/that’s why/i hide", as it was after the "soulmate" reaches out and "and the world makes sense". I assume that you mean that love is making you hide, but I had to re-read the last few lines multiple times to come to that conclusion. Other than that, I enjoyed the poem.
thanks for the feedback! what i tried to say was that without a true love, the world didn%u2019t make sense. That ending part basically means that %u201Cyou make my world clear, and without you i%u2019m scared%u201D.