Shiraku and Emerald were alive. What had they told the Wind Talon Queen? What had she done with them? Were they okay. What did this mean for him and Felistia?
These and a million other thoughts flashed through Zoltar’s mind in the split second it took to register what the Queen had just said.
For a moment his head spun like a whirlwind. Then in the blink of an eye it all settled into one thought, “Yes. I am Zoltar and that Wisp Talon and Sea Talon are the reason I am here.”
He stared defiantly at the Queen, somehow his courage restored. Shiraku and Emerald were alive somewhere in the palace and he needed to be brave and fight for their freedom.
“Hmm, is that so?” The Queen said, the corners of her mouth curve upwards in a slightly amused manner, “Well, I’m sure I can arrange for you to meet them. It would be nice to have someone to distract the Sea Talon. The prison guards tell me she has quite the loud mouth.”
Zoltar blinked, slightly confused. This Queen wasn’t what he’d expected. On one paw she was stern and intimidating, but on the other she seemed kind and understanding. Inwardly, he stamped down on his bewilderment. So what if she was more lenient than Shiler. It didn’t mean he could trust her, not yet.
“What about Felistia?” Zoltar asked, determined to hold his ground, “Where is she?”
“The Ice Talon?” The Lightning Talon’s face darkened, “She’s in a separate prison from the palace. That’s where we keep her kind. Don’t worry though. She’s perfectly healthy. Her guard reported to me this morning.”
“But what about the Lightning Diamond. Doesn’t that prove that we are here to help and aren’t your enemies?”
“It certainly does help in the matter, but one can never be too careful when in our situation. I will debate your little proposal,” The Queen said, seating herself back on her throne, her tail draped over the edge like a sleeping snake, “You’ll hear from me soon.”
With that she roared, “Delareth.”
The door to the throne room open and the Wind Talon scurried in.
“Yes, your Majesty?” he said with a graceful dip.
“Take Zoltar to a more … accommodating living space and be sure to arrange a meeting between him and the Wisp Talon and Sea Talon prisoners.”
Delareth nodded and bowed again.
Zoltar felt panic begin to rise in his chest as Delareth ushered him towards the door way. What about Felistia? When would he see her again?
“Oh and Zoltar, I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to keep these.”
Zoltar looked over his shoulder to see the Queen grasping both the Ice Diamond and the Lightning Diamond before the throne room doors closed behind him with defending bang.
…
Back to square one. That was the thought perforating Zoltar’s mind as he was led by Delareth down the main palace hallway. The Queen had both the diamonds and Emerald had her scale. He had nothing to show for the risk and hard work carried out over the last few weeks. He was in almost the exact same position he’d been in before leaving the Shadow Lands.
Zoltar’s mind was still dwelling on these thoughts when Delareth stopped in front of another wooden door not far from the Queen’s throne room. Two guards were stationed outside, brandishing spears in their forepaws.
They dipped their heads upon Delareth's arrival.
“Sir?” one asked, gesturing to Zoltar with the tip of his spear.
“The prisoner? The Queen wanted him to be moved to this section. Please take him to his quarters,” Delareth instructed, handing the soldier a key that had been hanging from around his neck.
“Yes Sir,” the guard nodded, taking the key and motioning for Zoltar to follow him.
Zoltar watched Delareth stride away as the wooden doors were opened to reveal a corridor leading to another closed door.
Sighing, Zoltar followed the guard. It was another prison. The Queen must have wanted him transferred here because it was closer. No doubt so she could interrogate him whenever she wanted, without the hustle of having to drag him out of the prison below.
The soldier, using one of the keys hanging from his own neck, unlocked the door with a hollow click.
Zoltar noted that he put it back around his neck. Getting those keys would be a number one priority if he ever got a chance to escape,
“Hold still for a moment.”
Zoltar almost took an involuntary step back when he saw the guard lean down and begin to unlock the chains around his paws. Then he started unlocking the wires wrapped around his wings, freeing them.
“There,” he said, reaching out to open the door, “Someone will bring you food in few hours, until then make yourself at home.”
With that he opened the door.
Sunlight flooded the passage, bathing Zoltar in its welcoming light. With a deep sigh, he spread his wings as he walked into the room. The warmth was so good on his still frost bitten scales that he almost didn’t notice the guard locking the door behind him.
Taking a moment to bask in the sun’s fiery heat, he looked around the room. There were three windows spaced across the far wall, all barred, but still letting in life giving sunlight. A rock platform was positioned to his left, a thin fur pelt draped over it. To his right, two a small shelves carved from the wall.
Zoltar realized with a brush of relief that this must be a guest room for other dragon tribes, not another prison, at least not in the same way. The Queen didn’t trust him yet, but she must have believed some of his story to have him moved here.
Folding his wings in, he walked over to one of the windows and stared out at the valley below. It was still relatively early morning and the streets in the village below were alive with dragons bustling to and fro.
Dragonets stood in wide open courtyards, striking, trusting and wiping their tails at invisible enemies, before evading away in a tucked roll. Adults circled the skies above them, lunging and tussling with other Wind Talons, each in turn trying to throw their opponent to the ground.
Around the village, savanna spread for miles in great rolling carpets of gold. Herds of zebra and antelope streamed over the grassland, sticking close the many winding rivers splayed out over the landscape.
He didn’t know how long he’d been staring out when the sound of talons and the growl of an angry dragon broke through his thoughts.
“Unhand me,” a sharp voice shrieked from the passage.
Zoltar couldn’t help, but grin. He knew that voice.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
That discussion ended so much sooner than I had hoped.
I really would love to see this conversation prolonged a bit, and maybe Zoltar withholding the diamond information could help that. He basically told the queen the basic reasons for their arrival, gave her the diamonds, and got nothing in return. In fact, he didn't even bargain for their freedom. He just said that they were why he was there to begin with.
I might be getting ahead of myself, of course, but it was a bit anti-climactic having their discussion end so soon!
LOL I have a guess as to who that dragon is at the end, but it really could be either of the two. Still, since the voice sounds both feisty AND somewhat entitled, my guess is it's Emerald. But I could EASILY see it turning out to be Shiraku (though idk if Zoltar would smile like that for Shiraku, more like laugh), so I will just have to wait and see!
What a beautiful guest room, though. I love how you designed such a lovely bedroom in the mountain. And it was such a lovely chance to get some more beautiful scenery in here. Seeing the training grounds is actually really neat and good symbolism for wartime. Speaking of, I am still SO interested in why the wind talon kingdom is in such devastation while the ice talon kingdom is pristine. It's a ten-year-old war, if I remember correctly? And the wind talons must have lost several battles as well as spent a lot of resources/money to keep up their side of the conflict. Meanwhile, the ice talon kingdom is winning battles, most likely initiating those battles in wind talon territory, and is gaining resources to grow their own kingdom, which would explain why their economy seems to be thriving in comparison. It's still eating a lot of resources/money to maintain a military foothold, but they're able to make some back by winning these battles. They must be looting the wind talon kingdom to keep up their stance and power.
But that's just ONE possibility that's going on here. I thiiink it's safe to say that Shiler is the enemy in this whole thing though, and Shiler just wants... power, if I recall correctly. Maaaan I dunno, I just need to read more. I NEED ANSWERS. XD
I look forward to the next paaaart!!
Thank you again for another review. You gave me some great ideas to draw out the conversation with the Queen. I must say I have a bit of a writing block with this and the last chapter.
Oh no! Hopefully, some inspiration comes to you soon! I'm glad my reviews helped to at least job your brain a bit.
Yeah, I definitely think their personalities could really work well with a snarky/intelligence back-and-forth, where the queen tries to get Zoltar to reveal the information about the diamond or something of that nature while Zoltar is equally resistant to her remarks and pushes to see his friends' safety or even push the rebellion's/Felistia's political agenda, but I don't know how well that latter idea would work. It really depends on how far along we want to advance the lot here, and maybe Felistia's rebellion/alliance stuff is settled later. I'm not sure.
But basically, it could be fun to see the stand-up, strong-willed queen face off against a newly-determined and self-confident Zoltar, since we just had a build-up for Zoltar regaining his courage and composure for his tribe.
Hi there.
I love what you have written. This is the first of your work that i have read but i can confidently say that i think you will go somewhere in the world of writing. The way you have written the characters is really well done.
There are a few grammar mistake that i can notice however it's nothing major.
Over all it an amazing story, well done.
I can't wait to read more of your work.
Keep up the good writing.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm back for another review! Hope you're going to get out of you're funk soon!
First Impression: YES I knew I was right to think the queen was a good leader (or a really, really good actor...with the amount of twists in this I'm not sure). I like to see how she's being really fair while keeping her subjects safe. And it looks like people follow her out of loyalty rather than fear which is nice to see. Also Shiraku and her mouth...can't wait till we hear that again. And the queen making a smart move with the diamonds...poor Zoltar but she did the thing I would expect a queen in a situation like that to do and that's awesome.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Oops looks like we have lost a question mark there.
I think we need some commas there. Also I was searching the Knowledge Base articles and I found this lovely article on commas and where they have to be used along with semicolons. Just a little thing I found that really helped my writing. Since I've seen some missing commas in yours I thought you'd find it helpful too.
GO ZOLTAR!!
*falls of chair laughing*
Good move by Zoltar. Sticking with his character really well of a dragon that's been in one bad situation after another.
Treating prisoner's nicely, even an Ice Talon that she had no reason to believe was innocent. I think the past two chapters I have been just gushing about how awesome this queen is.
Nice bit of tension with that really well placed pause.
Delareth nodded and bowed again.
I think you meant a deafening.
So is that a universal key to all the guest rooms...no wait there were other keys to the guest rooms so was that key for the door they were guarding? Because if so its a little confusing as to what happens to the key. Maybe mention it being used to open the door.
That's a nice humane thing to see...or is it dragonane..
And we have a felistia trademarked beautiful description finally for this chapter.
Good continuation of that contrast we saw between the two kingdoms in the start of um chapter 5 I think when Zoltar was being dragged towards the prison.
*doing happy dance*
Also Zoltar being happy to see Shiraku. Character development. I love it.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall it was a beautiful chapter as always. Love the way that this is going so far. This whole prison sequence is so well done. Now I am
impatientlywaiting for the next one where we can finally see Emerald and Shiraku again. It has been too long.As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thank you so much for your review. I'm so glad you like the queen.
I'll try to get the next chapter out soon.
You're Welcome!!
Okay...looking forward to it!!