18+ Mature Content

Re: Eloise Meets Alastair

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.

I finally get out of my dorm. It's been about a month with only my textbooks for company. Felicity is right-I need to live a little. So here I am at Babbel Bar thinking I should just turn tail and run. But fun wins out and I order a margarita. The music starts and I'm wearing my dancing heels and I'm feeling pretty good. After margarita #3 I'm hit with this sudden urge to leave for some reason. I'm feeling buzzed so I just go with it.

It's 1 am on Saturday so I want to get away from the crowds. I decide the fountain is my best bet. It's always been a refuge for me. So I might as well cop a squat and sober up. Suddenly I feel arms grab me. I try to scream out but everything goes dark.

****

Damn, what a night. I even think I had a nightmare. I don't remember how I got back but after being attacked in my dream I'm thankful for my dorm room now. I pick up my phone and glance at the time. Shit, it's only 10 am. And it's Saturday so I decide not to be a lunatic and roll back over. Ow! my neck is sore. What's going on? I shake my head and pop two Tylenol and roll back over. It's too early for all this nonsense.

My phone dings. Somebody better be dying. It's Felicity, my best friend on campus. Only she can disturb my sleep and live. I open my phone to see what was so damn important. 

Hey El, wanna grab food? I'm starving

I can't say no to her, I never can. Besides she'll be at the door in 5...4...3...2...a knock comes rolling through. Yup, when she has her mind set on something all bets are off. I guess it's breakfast time whether I like it or not.

I sleepily open the door, "Why?" I groan. 

"Because you love me. Clothes. Now" 

I grudgingly put put on street clothes and mourn my jammies. When i put them on though I feel like I haven't eaten in days. It must be the hangover. "Your timing is perfect, I'm actually starving." 

"Well then let's get to it." She takes my arm and we saunter out. 

I decide on scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy, a belgian waffle, four sausages and a bagel. Felicity is staring at me like I've grown two heads when i smother everything but the bagel in gravy. 

"What?" I say. 

"Are you hungover? Or eating for two?" 

"Hungover. For me to be pregnant I'd need sex and that hasn't happened since dinosaurs roamed the Earth." She shakes her head but then dives into her peanut butter toast and oatmeal. After finishing every morsel I head back to the dorm. 

****

I decide to grab a shower. Hopefully it helps with the soreness in my neck. I pass someone in the hallway and suddenly I hear Calculus isn't a class, it's hell. Fuck this class! Except she didn't say anything...Today has been mega weird. I decide to ditch the shower and head back to sleep. I have to be tired. So, back to my bed I go. 

****

Suddenly I see a pair of blue eyes; ice cubes with blue specks. "Eloise...." It speaks from a handsome face. He seems familiar. "Eloise..." I look over and see I'm in a field of wildflowers. "It's time we met Eloise. Come sit down." Right then a pair of rocks appeared and this gorgeous stranger was sitting on one beckoning me to the other one. For some strange reason I feel a pull and I have to. "Don't be frightened Eloise, I'm here to tell you what happened. How rude of me, I'm Alastair. I'm a vampire. I need to be blunt, you see, because I was careless and turned you."

"Um...what?" I asked dumbfoundedly. 

"Think of this like a room-"

"Sorry go back-vampire?" I laugh, "You're kidding right?" 

He stares intently into my eyes and I see something in my mind. It played like a movie. I was sitting next to the fountain...

"OH. MY. GOD!" I scream and try to run but there is nowhere to go. "You drank my blood?" I touch my neck and feel two tiny holes. 

"You're missing something very important, Eloise." He said shaking his head. His beard and long shaggy hair make him look like a frustrated viking. "Now you're one too. I turned you." And I made to speak but he cut me off. "Please allow me to finish. Yes, I fed on you. At college you humans almost always dismiss the effects as a hangover. But I couldn't stop and I accidentally took too much and stopped your heart. You died Eloise. However I gave you some of my blood in return and here you are. 

"What's going to happen? What the hell is happening now?!" I cannot wrap my mind around it, but the pieces fit. 

"Now, I mean you no harm-" I glare at him letting him know he missed the obvious. "I mean not presently. We have a bond now. I'll help you in any way I'm able. For instance the mind reading?" I look up at him in shock. "Will get easier I promise. You'll have your own abilities you'll develop as well but it seems mind control is your first." He looks at me very seriously now, "Right now you're in transition which means you need human-"

"Do not say blood!" I groan at him. 

"Yes blood, human food won't satisfy your blood lust. And if you don't it'll only get worse."

Well fuck!


Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
foxmaster
Review

hello, Foxmaster here!
Well, this was very intruiging, and so wbhat I can tell is that Eloise will never be the same... I feel bad for her. It must be hard for her to have a change like that.
Some ways that you can improve is that, like, I feel like the spacees here were kind of in bad places, and there was too much of them a bit, and also it seems like they mess up the story here. Also, some things:

I decide the fountain is my best bet. It's always been a refuge for me. So I might as well cop a squat and sober up.

no period,a comma should be there.
I pass someone in the hallway and suddenly I hear Calculus isn't a class, it's hell. Fuck this class! Except she didn't say anything...Today has been mega weird.

this part literally makes no sense.
"Sorry go back-vampire?" I laugh, "You're kidding right?"

this part also didn't make much sense to me, so I would appreciate it if you explained it to me.
I didn't really find anything else here, so I will say that what I liked about this was the vampire part, because I like vampires. The beginning [art was alsop very intruiging.
Overall, this was pretty good, with some room for improvents. It was eventful (without being eventful, and that is hard to pull off.) and I enjoyed it very much, and I can't wait for chapter 2!
This review courtesy of
Image

I decided to check this out since I like vampires…and I’m intrigued. Eloise’s life is never going to be the same again, especially with the moments of time slipping in her mind and running into Alastair. The mind reading is going to be a pain…but maybe she’ll be fine, who knows? I hope that this story continues.

In the meantime, I’m glad that I read this.

I wish you a beautiful day/night.

thank you :) i'm going to start chapter 2 tonight

User avatar
alpacaboss
Comment

Hello @epotts1! I sent a pm about this :D
I'll leave this as a comment and not a review so that more people will be able to review it. Okies? heheh

Keep up the good writing!



don't try me bro
— Seirre