Her name was Gladys and she was my first car.
Today I lost her, feeling so far and lost.
I got hit from behind and my future with her was gone.
The pain in my back reminds me again and again that it's over and she's never coming home.
I can't believe this. It wasn't my fault and I just got her back.
Her name was Gladys and she was my first car.
Goodbye sweet sassy girl, I loved our times together.
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Hello!
This is such a sweet poem! The use of personification for the car is very well done. The use of sorrowful phrases such as, "it's over and she's never coming home." and
"Today I lost her, feeling so far and lost." really add to the sadness you are experiencing. A lot of people have close connections to their cars, the addition of giving it a name really sells that point, and then giving it some sort of personality by calling it, "sweet sassy girl" even further makes the reader feel empathy as if the car was a close loved one.
An overall great poem. I love your work, these short and sweet poems are just my taste. Keep up the good work!
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aww, this is cute. gladys might have been the sweetest girl <33
Awww nooo! That's so sad
Although I don't have a car yet (this fact betrays my age doesn't it), I understand how much cars can mean to certain people, whether they worked hard for it or received it as a gift from their parents. It can be hard indeed. Let's proceed with the review.
You went from feelings to describe what actually happened which is a great start and helps pull people in the story.
Ouchhh, I hope you're okay. Judging from the line "I just got her back" you probably took her to a maintenance shop or lent it to someone. That really hurts, knowing you will never use her again. And who hit your car?? That was pretty reckless of them...
Awww, I see that the car really meant a lot of sentimental value to you. no other can seem to replace it. I would have liked to hear more about what made it special to you aside from it being your first car. Was it the way she ran or what memories were tied to the car?
Overall, this is a sad poem that somewhat fits like a eulogy for your car.
This is alpacaboss, signing off.
I remember my first start this off bay say sorry for your losses
Some call it crazy mourning a machine.
You sort poem highlights the connection between you and your first car
I would have personally tried to add a verse about the noises she made or the smells she put off.
Or my personal favorite talking about the drinking problem that all cars have.