Young Writers Society

I thoroughly enjoyed this!

Such depth, I was so intrigued by your piece. Your descriptions are so cogent, wow. You definitely had my attention from the very first line. "Little hands banging doors in protest of their location. Little laughter echoing in buildings too small for imagination." This wasn't too vague, but didn't give away too much information. You said just enough to capture the reader's attention. Your similes in the second "stanza" are so well written!! I loved it. I also thought the line, "With powder in colors the rainbow has envied these children mark themselves in ground still susceptible to whimsy," was so powerful and so well written!

This is a wonderful piece.

~FearlessLove4

Hello! I'm here to write a review

Little hands banging doors in protest of their location. Little laughter echoing in buildings too small for imagination

They are burdened by the oneness of their mother, forgotten in the cries of four sisters and brother.

They cannot rid themselves of this devastating poverty, but their hands inscribe their own names in cracked and crooked concrete.

They are children deserving of homes, scratching their titles in the pavement, so that their presence would make itself known.