Peter's Poem

hey there stranger.

this was shortest "poem" i read! and yet i loved it.

it really gives us more think than to read.

but honestly speaking i dont think its classifeied under poem. ( i know you been told that)

i had to think real hard to review it for your peice was more then words, they came as thoughts and dreams to me.

so all i can say is

keep dreaming! keep writing!

Damn it

Damn you

Peters gone

I hope you die

(ok no but captain hook is close to my heart this hits too hard too soon)

*SCREAMING*
*CRIES FOREVER*
*CLICKS LIKE AND RUNS AWAY*

Hello.

So this is a lovely little work.
The shortness is nice and it makes it interesting because there is more to think about than there is to read.

"Laugh with me"
I like this as an opening line because it invites the reader to join the character/narrator in their plot journey, so they become part of the arc as well. It's clever and welcoming.


"Love with me"
This is like the last line... love what? It's an open-ended statement. But it's thoughtful.


"Fly with me"
You know, I really wish I was able to fly!


"Forget with me"
My major problem with this, is that because I am quite an impatient person who doesn't like to wait for answers, that this question goes unanswered. It sucks to not know forgetting... WHAT?! XD


I wanna know. Hee hee.
This was a very good work, I enjoyed reading your simple, but effective idea.

Keep writing!

~EE

Hey! IamTraunt here to... Um, comment I guess xD I can't really review this.
Like the others have said, this is short, sweet and very effective. So, a four line stanza is normally called a Quatrain. So a poem written in four line stanzas would be a poem in quatrains. But seeing as there is no other stanzas, I'm presuming it may still be a quatrain. I like how you've used repetition for emphasis and I also like how it links into Peter Pan's usual story. I've noticed that the first two start with the same letter and so do the next two, I'm not sure if that is purposeful. Its great that you've used free verse to show how Peter is a free boy and not tamed. I can see you've thought this out well.

This is great! It's simple and to the point, and doesn't beat around the bush! Like the other reviewers said, this perfectly captures the character of Peter Pan. It also flows really nice since you wrote the entire poem with the same line, except you changed the first word of each line. This makes the poem flow well and seem to be a single block instead of four different sentences. Great work!
And have a banana. they're good for your eyesight.
Andy Out!

Hi, I love this!

It so perfectly reflects the Neverland & Peter Pan thing! I'm not sure even how, it's just so simple, and true. This is Peter Pan inspired ( judging from the title ), isn't it? I love. Keep it up!

I like this a lot it is simple, sweet and fun. Because come on who does not like Peter Pan! I really like how you continued with the same pattern in it though. Anyways great poem and...
Keep up the creative writing!
-Roxie Rain