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Shadow's Rising {Wing 1} Chapter 7

by dragonight9


Chapter 7

Jarid raced back to his house. He could feel Shadow’s sad gaze following him even as he tried to shake off his own sorrow. Jarid took a deep breath and focused on the journey ahead. As he did so, his heartache was slowly replaced with excitement. He was going to Dragon Rider Academy!

The birds were now fully awake, and the air was filled with their songs. The breeze felt a lot warmer on the ground than it had in the air and within a few minutes he could see his father waiting in the fully loaded cart ahead. Jarid threw his bag in the back, tucked his acceptance letter in his pocket, and jumped in.

The sun was making the dew on the ground sparkle and Jarid’s mind was already filling with all the wonderful things he would do when he got to the academy. Simon didn’t speak and Jarid was too caught up in his own daydreams to notice his suspicious look into the forest where Jarid had come from.

Finally, they reached the arena. The road nearby had a long train of carriages on it and Simon stopped a fair distance away. Jarid hopped out of the cart and walked around to grab his small bag of belongings. As he grabbed the bag Simon held out a package to him.

“It’s a bit of food for the trip, and whatever money I could scrape together. Should be enough to last a few days at least,” He muttered as Jarid took the package. A long, awkward silence followed. Jarid hadn’t thought about how to say goodbye to Simon, but now he couldn’t just ignore him.

Finally, Simon made a shewing motion. “Get going boy, we don’t have all day.”

Jarid looked up at him with a sad smile. “Goodbye father. Thank you for… well, for everything.”

Simon grunted with a dismissive wave. Jarid turned and jogged up the road. Behind him he heard the cart rolling back into town.

Jarid continued up the side of the road until he reached the head of the caravan. There he saw someone standing on a box and giving directions. Jarid walked up to him and took out his papers.

“Are you the organizer?”

The man narrowed his eyes. “I don’t need any more workers if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Jarid shook his head. “No. I’m here to board the caravan. This is my letter of acceptance,” He replied, holding out the letter. The man raised an eyebrow, but accepted the letter and looked it over.

“Well, I’ll be,” He muttered. “Yep, it’s the real deal.” He handed the letter back to Jarid.

“Alright young man. You’ll be in carriage 10. That’s the third to last one. We usually have two or three per carriage. But the other young man in your carriage hasn’t shown up yet so it looks like you might have the carriage to yourself.”

Jarid nodded. “Have you seen another student by the name of Steven?”

The man looked at a list and shook his head.

Apparently, Steven and Dominic were traveling in a different caravan, and they were going to arrive a full day ahead of him. Jarid walked down the line until he reached his carriage. After seeing his letter, the fancily dressed driver held the door open and stored his bag with a bow.

So, this is how nobles travel. Jarid thought with wonder.

The inside of the carriage smelled of leather and oil-soaked wood. It was large enough for him to lie down sideways and the doors of the carriage had windows made of expensive glass so its occupants could watch the countryside roll past.

After what felt like a long time, a horn sounded. The carriage driver leaped onto his seat and checked that the horses were ready to go. A few minutes later a second horn sounded, and the carriage jolted forward. Jarid’s journey to Dragon Rider Academy had officially begun!

Jarid shuffled closer to the window so he could see out. The countryside rolled by under a bright grey sky. He began to truly relax for the first time in days. Jarid took out his music box, put his earpieces in, and put on his favorite playlist as he looked out the window. Soon the rhythm of the carriage, warm comfy seat and comforting music lulled him to sleep.

Jarid awoke suddenly as the carriage bounced over a larger than usual rock. He looked around in confusion. This wasn’t his cold hard bed on the muddy floor of his father’s house. Jarid then remembered the amazing events that had led to this journey. As he did so he looked out the window and gasped in shock and delight.

Gone was the gray overcast sky, muddy road and dense trees of Denbark overshadowed by the dark and ominous Dread Mountains. Here the sky was a clear blue and the bright sun shone down on rolling grassy hills. The grass was sprinkled with flowers, the brightness and color of which Jarid had never seen before. Farther ahead, golden fields of wheat about to be harvested extended to a seemingly massive city in the distance. Jarid stuffed the music box in his pocket, opened the carriage door, and called to the driver.

“What’s that city up ahead?”

“That is the city of Asmorath. The first stop on our way to the academy.” The driver answered before glancing back to see Jarid hanging out of the moving carriage.

“Sir! Please stay inside the carriage! You can roll down the window using the leaver inside if you wish to speak with me or let the fresh air in.”

Jarid nodded and closed the carriage door before rolling down the window. It was very intriguing to him, but he was even more curious about the city up ahead. He had heard many stories, but nothing could compare to seeing the city for himself. The thick stone walls grew bigger by the minute and stuck out against the vibrant foreground of green and gold.

After another hour of travel, they reached Asmorath. As the line of carriages entered the city, they passed through a gate taller than Jarid’s house and about as wide too. Jarid leaned out the window to catch his first glimpse inside the city’s walls. There were many large buildings lining the streets and most had signs outside advertising taverns, inns, smithies, cobblers and all manner of trades a traveler would need.

As the caravan continued, they reached a market. Here they were forced to move slowly through the crowd of shoppers moving from stall to stall. Jarid wanted to plug his ears from the sheer noise of the place. The sounds and smells were so mixed and varied that he quickly gave up trying to identify all of them. Many merchants tried to sell him their wares as well, ranging from exotic fruits, to clothes, to weapons, but Jarid had neither the desire nor the money to spend on such things.

As the carriages detached themselves from the crowd and began to pick up speed once more Jarid slumped back in his seat, trying to process everything he had just experienced. He couldn’t imagine a more chaotic place than that. Yet he knew that this was but a taste of the chaos in bigger cities like Delbont and couldn’t even compare to the grand market in the capital.

He could hardly believe there were so many people living in one place. Wouldn’t they all go deaf from the noise, or die when sickness spread?

As the convoy continued its journey, the hills got bigger and steeper while the road they traveled down slowly narrowed into a valley. Jarid could see mountains rising ahead. Behind them great rolling thunder clouds stood in the sky as if daring the little convoy to approach.

The convoy continued unabashed and as Jarid watched the dark rumbling storm clouds cover the setting sun, he prayed that he would live to see it again. Just as he had this thought Jarid looked down the road and saw what looked like a dense grey wall coming straight for them. The surface of it seemed to ripple in waves with the wind.

“You’d better stay inside the carriage and keep the windows shut tight sir!” The driver yelled over the thunder and wind that were growing louder and louder by the second. Just before Jarid tucked his head back inside and rolled up the window, he realised what that undulating gray wall was.

Rain.

It slammed into the carriage like a tidal wave, rocking the carriage fiercely. For a moment Jarid feared they might be swept right off the road, but the carriage plowed on. After a while he relaxed. Though it swayed a bit, inside the carriage was safe and dry. As soon as he thought of this, it occurred to him that the driver had no such protection.

This worried Jarid for a moment, but he realised that the driver must have gone through similar weather before and was most likely prepared for it. Now that he had calmed down after all the excitement Jarid felt tired once more and lay down on the seat.

The next time he awoke it was to the jerk of the carriage stopping. The storm was still raging but Jarid could now make out the shapes of buildings illuminated by flashes of lightning through the windows.

The carriage driver got down from his seat and started banging on the door. Jarid noticed that he had a grey hooded raincoat on. When Jarid opened the door, the driver gestured to a building across the street who’s doorway was filled with a soft yellow glow. He yelled above the thunder and rain.

“Get to the inn! I’ve got your bags.”

Jarid nodded and covered his head as he made a dash for the inn. The raindrops pelted him like soft stones until he reached the door. Even though he had only been outside for a few moments his clothes were thoroughly drenched and he was shivering slightly from the chill breeze.

Thankfully the inn had a fire and Jarid sat down beside it gratefully. The flickering flames crackled happily in the hearth. The inn was simple but sturdy and the warmth of the fire made it feel quite homey.

As he dried off, the carriage driver informed him that he was in the city of Takir which lay in a valley less than half a day’s ride from Mt. Drake. Dragon Rider Academy was built into the upper part of Mt. Drake and on a clear day you could even see the academy from the village.

The other students were already in their separate rooms and after thoroughly drying off, Jarid was soon shown to a room as well. The room was simple with bare walls, a single bed on one side of the room and a small desk on the other with a dresser next to it.

Jarid’s pack was brought in and laid at the foot of the bed. Jarid thanked the driver for bringing it up to his room. The driver gave him a small bow and left. Jarid sat on the edge of the bed going over the events of the day. Later in the evening, supper was brought up to him and he was told that they were staying here until the storm let up. So Jarid went to sleep that night on a warm bed with warm food in his stomach and a smile on his face.

The next day, Jarid woke up and came downstairs just as the sun was rising. The innkeeper was setting out the tables and chairs while his wife was in the kitchen making a broth for breakfast. They looked old but not frail and the innkeeper still showed the muscles gained through a lifetime of hard work. He was bent over grabbing a bench when he heard the stairs squeak and let out a small groan as he stood to see who was coming down so early.

He raised an eyebrow at Jarid but said nothing. The man looked like he could use some help, so Jarid moved to help him set out the tables and chairs. The man stopped what he was doing and turned to Jarid.

“Why are you doing that?” The innkeeper asked confused.

“You gave me a wonderful meal, a warm room and comfortable bed last night. I simply want to show my gratitude. One good turn deserves another,” Jarid replied, smiling as he helped the man set out the rest of the chairs and benches. Then he sat by the fire to wait for the meal to be ready.

The carriage drivers came down just as breakfast was ready and hunkered down with a mug of ale, bowl of piping hot broth and large hunk of bread. Jarid was just finishing his own wonderful warm broth and hunk of bread when the other students trickled down the stairs. The carriage drivers quickly finished their meal, thanked the innkeeper, and went outside to make sure that their carriages were ready to go.

The storm had petered out overnight and though there was still enough mist that Jarid couldn’t see their destination, the convoy was ready to go. Once all the students got back in their carriages their journey began once more.

The ride through the morning mist was wonderful. There was dew on the grass stretching all the way to a dark line of trees at the base of the nearest mountains which were partially hidden by fog. The air smelled fresh and clean. The light was dim but growing stronger and although the ride was uneventful it did nothing to dampen Jarid’s excitement. He was about to reach the academy!

The carriage began to travel up a steeper and steeper road until there was a sudden turn to the right. The path was still steep but now led away from the academy. Jarid was confused but trusted the driver to know what he was doing. About half an hour later there was another sharp turn this time taking them farther up and opposite of their previous course. The carriage made many more turns like this slowly zigzagging up the mountain.

It took all morning and by the time the entire convoy reached the top, the clouds had rolled in. The fog was so thick Jarid could barely see the carriage in front of them. Then, suddenly, they were confronted by a massive stone wall with an iron portcullis baring the gate. The carriages unloaded and all the students gathered at the gate.

Jarid noticed that at the top of the gate was a sign in the shape of a scroll that read “Dragon Rider Academy”, and above that was the depiction of a human on a dragon’s back raising a flaming sword while the dragon was spreading its wings and roaring. He was finally here!

Jarid couldn’t wait to explore the academy and see the dragons. Would he be able to talk to them? Would he get to choose his own dragon, or would his partner be chosen for him? So many questions were running through Jarid’s mind as he and the other students waited.

Someone walked up to the gate. He was wearing a red version of the uniform Lt. Gavin had been wearing. Whoever this was he had to be an instructor at the academy.

A man in full armor came out of the guard house to meet the instructor. The guard whispered, “Human enlightenment is like a firefly in the dark.”

To which the instructor replied, “Dragon enlightenment is a flame that illuminates all darkness.” The man nodded and returned to the guard house.

That’s so cool! Jarid thought. They even have a secret password to get in.

A few moments later the gates were opened, and the students were lead inside.

For the first time, Jarid entered Dragon Rider Academy.


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Sat Mar 23, 2024 9:27 pm
Lucian wrote a review...



This was a really good chapter, it featured a large amount of descriptive detail along with incredible visuals. I saw that there could be the possibility of Simon finding Shadow in the woods after all it did say "Simon didn't speak and Jarid was too caught up in his own daydreams to notice his suspicious look into the forest from where Jared had come from." I'm guessing that this may have something to do with an event in the future. I'm starting to see a similarity between this story to an Eragon/Harry Potter-style book. If you haven't read either of those or just one, try giving them a read they are very good books that I highly recommend. I saw one other similarity that really stuck out, the Academy, it seems similar to the "Jade Mountain Academy" in the "Wings of Fire" series. The Academy in the "Wings of Fire" is from books 6-10, if you need to find it.

For recommendations or errors, none.
This was a very well-written chapter that had lots of descriptiveness and imagery. This chapter did an amazing job of moving from one spot in the world to the next, it also did a great job of Jarid showing kindness and empathy. Empathy-when Jarid saw the rain and was immediately worried about the driver and if he was wet or not. Kindness-helping the innkeeper set up the inn in the morning, along with showing kindness to the driver throughout the chapter.

Overall, great chapter, with good descriptiveness and attention to detail. No errors or suggestions I can make on it, well done.
Good luck and may writer's block get lost in a maze on the way to your house. Good luck and keep up the good work!




dragonight9 says...


I have watched Harry Potter and read Eragon. I'm not going for something quite so complex but I'm glad my story reminded you of such great works.

Also, the academy location was at least partially inspired by Jade mountain.



Lucian says...


That is great inclusiveness and ingenuity with the Jade Mountain, I'm so glad you read Eragon, my personal favorite. They actually have another 4 books in the series!



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Wed Feb 28, 2024 5:07 pm
RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Awesome! That's it, that's the review.

(jk lol)

This chapter was such an adventure! There was a lot to take note of, from the moment Jarid leaves his hometown, to his experience in the city and the inn, and finally the long-awaited and much-anticipated moment of him arriving at the gate of the academy. Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

There were only two tiny nitpicky things I could find to remark on.

, the driver gestured to a building across the street who’s doorway was filled with a soft yellow glow.


Grammatically speaking, it would be "whose doorway was filled with a soft yellow glow."

As he dried off, the carriage driver informed him that he was in the city of Takir which lay in a valley less than half a day’s ride from Mt Drake. The mountain Dragon Rider Academy was built into.


Nothing is technically wrong here, but for me, the sentences felt just a little disconnected. My recommendation, free to take or leave, would be either linking the two with a comma (Mt Drake, the mountain Dragon Rider Academy...) or clarifying in the second sentence (Mt Drake. That was the mountain Dragon Rider Academy...). Again, though, nothing was technically wrong and that's just my opinion.

Both were extremely minor things, and there was nothing else I could spot. It was a very well-written chapter!

Why The Grin Widened...

Oh, gosh, where to begin?! There were so many great aspects to this chapter; things you just portrayed so well, vividly, and relateably.

One, props for descriptions! All the way through the chapter, you handled the descriptions just perfectly; the visual and sensory essentials were present in each new location, allowing us to "see" what was there, but there was no sign of info-dumping or run-on moments. Just the right balance of making progress in the adventure, while still stopping to show off the details. I don't think that's an easy feat, so great job!

Now, within those descriptions and stages of the journey, another masterfully handled aspect was Jarid's character. He was missing his brother before he even boarded the carriage, and that somber yet stiff goodbye with his father showed a sense of care on either end -albeit hidden or warped by gruff and awkward demeanors. Very appropriate for Simon's character, and falls in line with the conflict they had over this career path.

Then, from there on out, it's like Jarid is in another world. The way he interprets these foreign concepts and sights shows that he has some adapting to do, and not just regarding academy-specific ways. The little details, like being oblivious to the crank for the carriage window, or thinking city people will go deaf, showed the depth of the differences between Jarid's humble origins and this new section of the world.

The city, in that regard, was one of my favorite moments. Especially here:

Jarid wanted to plug his ears from the sheer noise of the place. The sounds and smells were so mixed and varied that he quickly gave up trying to identify all of them. Many merchants tried to sell him their wares as well, ranging from exotic fruits, to clothes, to weapons, but Jarid had neither the desire nor the money to spend on such things.


It not only showed how Jarid feels in this environment, why it may be as intimidating as it is exciting, but that depiction of a sensory overload just really carried through in the descriptions to immerse the reader and relate to the main character to an extent.

And finally, what else stuck out was Jarid's time at the inn, specifically during the morning hours.

“Why are you doing that?” The innkeeper asked confused.

“You gave me a wonderful meal, a warm room and comfortable bed last night. I simply want to show my gratitude. One good turn deserves another,” Jarid replied,


This was not only a great way to display Jarid's kind and humble character traits, but it also gave a little bit of insight into the culture of these cities -or perhaps with students specifically. It sounds like these innkeepers aren't used to being on the receiving end of a good deed, which is well in line with the noble class of this story and the understanding of big cities overall. The idea of Jarid giving them a moment of help and appreciation created a touching moment in the chaotic journey.

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, great chapter, and I can't wait to see what the academy will be like! Nicely done! :)

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dragonight9 says...


Hi Raven, thanks so much for your reviews on this chapter and the last.
Thanks to that, I ended up editing chapter 6 to have the letter in its proper place in the text.

I'm so glad the descriptions shined through in this chapter. When I originally wrote it (a few years ago) it was specifically to practice descriptive writing for a class.
So thanks a lot ;)



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Sat Feb 24, 2024 11:30 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello once more, friend!
I’m back to check out Chapter 7!

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“The proper order of things is often a mystery to me.” - My Interpretation

This was a great chapter! I loved the little adventure and seeing Jarid's excitement towards everything that was going on!

Brief Summary: Simon takes Jarid to the starting point of his journey and gives him a few dollars and some food before Jarid gets on the carriage and actually starts heading to the academy. During the trip, Jarid seems to enjoy himself and causes no trouble. When they finally get to Mt. Drake and arrive at the gates, questions begin streaming through Jarid's head as he takes in all of the wonderful scenery and his future life.

I loved seeing how introspective and thoughtful Jarid was during this chapter!


“Every adventure requires a first step.” - Some Advice

I don't have much advice... But I do have something related to an abbreviation you used in the story. When they all arrived at the inn and the carraige driver talked to Jarid while he was drying off, you said,

As he dried off, the carriage driver informed him that he was in the city of Takir, which lay in a valley less than half a day’s ride from Mt Drake.


But I do believe, since "Mt" is an abbreviation, there would be a period after it, so it looked more like this:

As he dried off, the carriage driver informed him that he was in the city of Takir, which lay in a valley less than half a day’s ride from Mt. Drake.


But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


“A rose is still a rose, even hidden under different petals.” - My Favorites

There were quite a few great things happening in this chapter! But in order to keep this review as short and succinct as possible, I picked out two specific things that genuinely caught my eye!

The first thing that really seemed to stand out to me while I was reading was when you showed the disconnect between nobles and commoners. A specific example of this is when Jarid is in the carriage and doesn't quite understand the windows. You said,

“Sir! Please stay inside the carriage! You can roll down the window using the leaver inside if you wish to speak with me or let the fresh air in.”

Jarid nodded and closed the carriage door before rolling down the window. It was very intriguing to him...


This did a wonderful job showing how vastly different the lives of all the people are! Even though the carriage drivers probably live the same way Jarid does, they are still more technologically advanced because they're more connected to the nobles in a sense. I liked how this showed the influence nobles have and how little commoners actually know, so kudos to you for writing it like this!

The other thing that I took note of while reading this chapter came when you showed Jarid's excitement near the end of the chapter as they were preparing to enter the gates. You said,

Jarid couldn’t wait to explore the academy and see the dragons. Would he be able to talk to them? Would he get to choose his own dragon, or would his partner be chosen for him? So many questions were running through Jarid’s mind as he and the other students waited.


Everything Jarid has done has brought him to this moment, and you can feel the raw joy and excitement he feels through these few sentences! This is beautifully done, and I love how it shows what's going on in his head, so good job with that!


“Collect what you can. Use it wisely.” - Overall Thoughts

I love what you've done with the story and the way it's written! You've done a fantastic job, and I've enjoyed reading everything so far! I'm looking forward to the next chapter, so see you then!

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!





I say, in matters of the heart, treat yo' self.
— Donna, Parks & Rec