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Shadow's Rising {Wing 1} Chapter 1

by dragonight9

Jarid waved to his father as he left the house and jogged into the forest. He was already late, and Shadow was sure to be upset, but that would change as soon as he heard what had happened.

Jarid felt the cool wind in his hair as he raced into the early morning forest with an excited smile on his face. The air smelled fresh after the rain last night and reminded him of the night Shadow had come into his life. It was hard to believe ten years had passed since then. So much had happened.

He had known right from the start that no human could find out about Shadow. They wouldn’t understand. They would probably just see him as some kind of monster. They might even kill him if he was discovered. So Jarid made sure to keep Shadow hidden from everyone. Especially from his father, Simon. But that meant he couldn’t ask anyone for help either.

He had to raise Shadow on his own.

Feeding him was the hardest part. His family wasn’t poor by peasant standards, but they weren’t exactly wealthy either and didn’t have much food to spare. Thankfully it didn’t take long before Shadow could hunt small game, and he was able to keep himself mostly fed when Jarid couldn’t.

Simon had noticed the scars on his arms and face a few days after the incident and Jarid told him he’d gotten burned while lighting the fire. Simon had grumbled about how he’d better have learned his lesson but forgot about it quickly. The scars didn’t exactly help him make friends with the villagers, not that he ever really tried anyway. He had always told himself that Shadow would be the only friend he would ever need.

Jarid broke off a dead branch as he went by and swung it like a sword a few times. Simon was a blacksmith, but he never made weapons like swords or spears. The nobility and their knights hired weaponsmiths to make those. Most days Jarid was forced to help his father make plows and horseshoes or small hand tools.

It wasn’t like he particularly disliked metalworking but whenever he had a spare moment, he found himself drawn to the arena just outside the village. Watching the nobility train in martial arts and listening in on their lessons had helped him learn how to fight. Unfortunately, he always had to return home eventually and often received a beating from Simon for sneaking away from work.

However, recently he met one of the arena staff and was offered a job cleaning the arena floor. Simon was furious as usual when he found out, but this time he begrudgingly allowed Jarid to continue because of the extra income. In fact, his job at the arena was partially the cause of his elation today.

Jarid giggled with excitement as he thought about it and tossed the stick aside as he broke into a full sprint through the forest.

Jarid spotted the line of bushes he knew indicated the beginning of Dragon Valley and smiled. 

I’m here!

Jarid shouted in his mind as he leaped over the bushes and down into the little valley. He rolled as he landed and hopped up onto his feet.

“Ta da!”

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Jarid was tackled by a mass of black scales, teeth and claws. If there was one thing a Night Wing was good at, it was stealth, and Jarid’s little brother was no exception.

“Where have you been?!” Shadow growled in annoyance. His adorable scaly head encompassing Jarid’s entire view with a pouty face.

“Well, if I could breathe, maybe I’d tell you,” Jarid wheezed with a smile. Shadow got off him with an annoyed huff and sat waiting.

Jarid took a moment to catch his breath. Shadow was a lot heavier than he used to be. He was a little bigger than a horse now, and his wings were almost as wide. His black scales reflected the light of the sun like obsidian, and the soft ridges along his back were beginning to get harder as he got older. His tail looked the similar to that of a small lizard Jarid had seen.

Shadow had two soft, earlike, horns that stuck straight out behind his head. His face was wider than a horse’s while his eyes were a deep crimson and often seemed full of youthful energy and curiosity.

Jarid rarely ever got to share exciting news with Shadow because he would see it in his mind long before he could speak, but as they grew up Jarid had trained his mind and learned how to shield it from Shadow. Only revealing what he wanted to. It was so exciting to share something like this without spoilers, and now that he was sure Jarid was ok, Shadow was brimming with curiosity.

It was quite rare for him to be late. Besides working at his father’s forge and more recently as a janitor in the arena, he had nothing else to do. Most people in the village thought he was strange, and his father was a known drunk, so few of them talked to Jarid unless they had to.

“Something amazing happened at the arena today so I had to stay late to hear the details,” Jarid whispered. He almost felt like he was going to explode with excitement. “The Dragon Rider Academy announced that they would be taking new students this year!”

It had always been Jarid’s dream to become a Dragon Rider. They rode dragons into battle against monsters and went on great adventures to save people. Dragon Rider Academy was the only school where you could receive the certificate of a dragon rider, and the only way a commoner like him could legally own a dragon. Unfortunately, they didn’t always take on new students every year, and even then, they only ever allowed the best students to enroll.

Jarid was grinning ear to ear. This was his chance! Meanwhile Shadow looked at him doubtfully.

“Yeah. If you can get in. Didn’t you say that only the strongest and smartest NOBLES could attend?”

“No. They have a competition/tryout thing to see who is good enough to become a student there. Anyone can participate but since the nobles have proper training (and magic), only nobles have ever attended.”

Then Jarid smiled smugly.

“That’s why I’m going to be the first! The first commoner to join the Dragon Rider academy and learn at their prestigious school in the far away mountains.”

Shadow laid down in a huff. Turning his head away from Jarid.

“And I’ll just be here waiting. As always.”

“Come on. If I do this, then you won’t have to worry about humans attacking you anymore. We’ll fly right out of these woods and go on tons of adventures together. Besides, you’re still only ten years old and can barely fly more than a few hours with me on your back. So, while I’m gone getting some awesome dragon riding skills, you can master flying. By the time I get back I’m sure you’ll be ready to fly all the way to the end of the continent and back.”

Jarid walked around to look into Shadow’s eyes with a pleading look. Shadow huffed and looked away for a moment.

“You haven’t even been accepted into the stupid school yet,” he grumbled. Then he let out a resigned sigh.

“Fine. But only if you promise you won’t get into trouble. I can’t come charging to the rescue if you’re that far away. Being the tiny little human, you are, you won’t last more than a few hours without me there,” Shadow joked. Standing and puffing out his chest as he tried to look brave and strong. Jarid laughed. No matter how big Shadow grew, to him, he would always be his little brother.

“Ok I promise, but even though I’m gone that doesn’t mean you get to slack off in your training either. Remember to practice your flying, fire breathing and… fighting!” As Jarid said the last word, he leapt at Shadow to deliver a flying roundhouse kick.

Shadow jumped back with a laugh and crouched down. His entire body wagging like a dog wanting to play. He feinted left then leapt right, spinning around to smack Jarid with his tail. Jarid ducked, and used his arm to deflect the tail so it passed over him. Then he charged forward with a punch aimed at Shadow’s face. Shadow blocked with one arm and batted at him with his other talon. Jarid deflected the first two blows then stepped in and ducked under Shadow’s third blow. Jarid responded with a counter punch the slammed into the hard, smooth scales on Shadow’s side.

“Ack!” Shadow cried as he leapt across the valley to get some distance.

Jarid shook his hand. Punching dragon scales was almost worse than steel. Luckily his fists, arms, and legs had toughened up after trading so many blows with Shadow over the years. Now he barely felt it.

Shadow flew at him low and fast then hovered just in front to attack with both of his front and back talons. Jarid crouched under the front talons and blocked the back talons before leaping forward to deliver a two-handed punch to Shadow’s chest.

Shadow smirked. His first attack had been a feint and now he used his front talons to grab Jarid’s fists while at the same time landing and rolling backwards so he ended up on top with Jarid pinned beneath him, both his arms trapped under Shadow’s talons.

“Ha! Got you!” Shadow cried happily. Jarid smirked in reply.

“Oh really?”

Then he planted his foot in the dragon’s gut and flipped him over his head, so Shadow landed on his back with a whump. Jarid hopped to his feet and brushed himself off while he gave Shadow a moment to recover. Shadow weighed about as much as a large horse, but Jarid was still able to toss him around without too much difficulty. Jarid just assumed his daily training with Shadow was the reason for his abnormal strength.

They fought for a little while longer, but it all ended when Shadow landed a tail sweep and pounced on Jarid. Unable to dodge Jarid kicked up his foot causing a strong gust of wind to carry Shadow over his head.

“W-woaaah! Ow!” Shadow cried as he slammed into a tree behind Jarid.

“Hey! That’s cheating! No magic Jarid!” Shadow pouted rubbing his nose.

“Yeah, sorry. We’ll call it your win this time,” Jarid chuckled with an apologetic smile. “While we’re at it let’s go do some magic and fire breathing practice.”

Shadow nodded, still rubbing his nose.

“Ouch. I don’t think I’ve smacked my face into a tree that hard since I started learning how to fly.”

Jarid laughed at the memory. Even with the memories Shadow’s mother Umbra had given him, Jarid still found it difficult to teach Shadow flying and fire breathing. He was very grateful when he discovered Shadow could read his mind. It made passing on everything Umbra had wanted to teach him a lot easier.

Even so, there was still a lot of trial and error. The first few months of flight practice were full of a lot of face-planting much to Shadow’s embarrassment. Thankfully he had grown a bit and gotten much better at flying since then.

Jarid glanced over at Shadow, who was walking beside him with his wings folded neatly on his back and smiled. Then he looked down at his palm and took a deep breath in and out. A flame flickered to life in his palm. Jarid smiled as he reminisced about the first time he had used magic.

He had been on his way to visit Shadow while singing a tune to himself. At the climax of the song he roared imagining he was a dragon breathing fire, and to his surprise flames streamed out just as he’d envisioned they would. Luckily, they only lightly scorched the nearby trees and didn’t start a forest fire.

After this he had excitedly shared his discovery with Shadow. He had created a fire in his palm back then too. Except that time, he didn’t know how to control it and quickly burned his hand. It was a good lesson about the dangers of magic and from that day forward he worked to control this power. He knew that nobles could use magic, but he’d never heard of a commoner who was able to use it. Of course, this had made him wonder who his biological parents were, but in the end, it didn’t really matter to him. He still loved Simon and Shadow just as much as he would his biological parents.

Jarid extinguished the flame in his palm, crushing it. His hands were quite resistant to extreme temperatures both hot and cold by now. After all, fire wasn’t the only magic he could use. Jarid smiled at the thought.

Jarid and Shadow arrived at their magic testing site. It was a small space at the bottom of a cliff that had no trees or grass to catch fire. By now the place looked like a war zone. There were remnants of boulders sticking out of the ground, scars in the rock from wind blades, small plants and blackened stumps of all sorts, the ground was cracking from turning to mud and drying out again, but the biggest evidence of all was that almost every square inch of it was charred black.

Jarid smiled as he thought back on the days when Shadow was unable to control his flame breath. The first time Shadow tried breathing fire Jarid thought he was going to set Dragon Valley ablaze. Fortunately he only scorched the valley floor and didn't spread. Understandably concerned, Jarid quickly found this training area to practice in from then on. It was also hilarious watching the funny faces Shadow would make while half choking on his own fire while his mouth and throat toughened up to withstand the heat.

"Alright. Let's get to it."

Jarid started by using earth magic to grow stumps out of the ground for them to use as targets then stone magic to create obstacles made of rock. Some roughly shaped like stone soldiers.

Both Shadow and Jarid raced forward, dodging around obstacles and firing streams of flame at the targets while taking cover from the imaginary soldiers who were returning fire. 

The battle was intense and Jarid quickly ran out of safe places to advance.

"I'm pinned down! We need to break through. Now!" Shadow shouted from across the battlefield.

"Alright, it's combo time! Ready?"


"Now!" Jarid shouted while launching himself into the air using wind magic. 

Shadow flew up to meet him while blasting flames down on the whole area. Jarid landed on Shadow's back and added his own flames to Shadow's. The two then did a few aerial maneuvers to dodge the imaginary attacks from the enemy on the ground while trying to keep their flames on target.

"Alright we got them," Jarid declared. The stream of flame ended and Jarid quickly began creating a steam of water to pour on the flames while breathing heavily.

After all the flames were thoroughly extinguished Shadow landed and let Jarid down. 

"Man! Magic really wipes you out. Sorry I can't stay longer. Father has a large order to fill today so he wants to leave a bit earlier than usual."

Shadow sat down with a sigh next to Jarid and looked into his eyes. Jarid knew Shadow could feel the emotions in his head and how much he wished he could stay. So, instead of complaining or asking Jarid to stay, he simply nuzzled up against him. Jarid wrapped his arm around him and sighed while petting his scales.

He wished these days could go on forever.

Is this a review?



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13 Reviews

Points: 780
Reviews: 13

Wed Mar 20, 2024 12:15 am
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Lucian wrote a review...

I'm just going to start off with, wow, very impressive. This piece is a great 1st chapter for a bit of world-building. The amount of emotion that is put into each character is great, they could use a little more individualism though.

With this work, I see a lot of similarities to HTTYD, not a bad thing just something to think about. On the other hand, love it, love the incorporation of magic. it's always amazing when someone makes their own grammare (magic) style. I hope to see more incorporation of it in future chapters, as I continue reading this.

As for recommendations on it, all I can say is that it is already a well-written work. It could use a bit more dialogue between the two main characters. As well as introducing more side characters, it would fill up any empty space in writing quite well. Making them stay together through the training would be a much more hooking piece of the story.

For the boasting portion, a very good story, I can see it going far if continued on this journey. Other than the recommendations stated above, good luck, and may writers-block pass you by.

dragonight9 says...

Thanks for reviewing and I hope you continue to enjoy my story.
HTTYD is my favorite story/movie and I did take heavy inspiration for Shadow from Toothless. I also was heavily inspired by Wings of Fire. Though you see more of that inspiration in Wing 2.
Thanks for all your advice and may writers-block pass you by as well.

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151 Reviews

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Reviews: 151

Wed Jan 03, 2024 11:46 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...

Hello friend!
I saw your work in the Green Room and figured I’d check it out.

Per my interpretation, this was a really great way to start Wing 1! There was a lot of great information here, and the shift from focusing on Shadow to focusing on Jarid is really quite interesting!

We're looking more into Jarid, and with that comes his day-to-day life and how he manages everything. Through this, we learn about his work and his aspirations to go to the Dragon Rider Academy so he can fly with Shadow. However, this upsets Shadow a little bit because he has no desire to be alone. But these feelings are quickly stomped out when Shadow and Jarid begin practicing.

This was a great way to start this part of the novel, and you set it up really well to focus on everything Jarid-related!

If I could offer any sort of advice, it would be a really small thing that I'm probably looking too far into. But when you were talking about Shadow's fire breathing, there seemed to be a bit of a contradiction in your descriptions. You said,

The first time Shadow tried breathing fire, he nearly burned down Dragon Valley. Fortunately, he only scorched the grass and a few flowers, and they quickly found this area to practice from then on.

I was just a little confused in how he nearly burned down the whole valley, but only burned grass and flowers. It just seemed very contradictory in my mind and a little confusing, so maybe clearing up that a bit would be nice.

But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.

If I had to pick my favorite part, there would be a few! There were some really great things happening here!

The first thing that really caught my eye was the way you showed how controlling Jarid's dad is of him and why he can't tell him or anyone else about Shadow. You said,

Simon was furious as usual when he found out, but this time he begrudgingly allowed Jarid to continue because of the extra income.

Showing how upset his dad is about something as simple as a job really goes to show how upset he would be if he found out Jarid had a dragon. This also somewhat shows why Jarid is an outcast. He can't even trust his dad. You did a really great job showing how the dad thinks, which is a good indicator of how you'll portray other characters—in a really fantastic way!

The next thing I really quite liked was when you were talking about the Dragon Rider Academy. You did a great job showing how important Shadow is to Jarid and the lengths he's willing to go to for him, saying,

Jarid was grinning from ear to ear. This was his chance!

The fact that Jarid is so excited about something that can only get him closer to Shadow is a really good indication of how passionate he is about him and how strong their bond is. It also makes room for Jarid to do pretty drastic things for Shadow in the future of the novel because if he's willing to do this, he's willing to do anything, which could lead to some crazy plot lines—plot lines that would make this an awesome novel! (plot lines that we've possibly already seen, but from a different perspective this time)

The final thing I really enjoyed ties into the last thing I said, but it's the way you showed how strong and loving Jarid and Shadow's relationship is, especially at the very end when you said,

So, instead of complaining or asking Jarid to stay, he simply nuzzled up against him. Jarid wrapped his arm around him and sighed while petting his scales.

He wished these days could go on forever.

This super strong bond and how considerate they are of each other is a really beautiful thing to be able to read, and I just love it, so kudos to you for having the ability as a writer to do that!

There were a lot of great things happening here, and the entire chapter was really a blast! But these were just a few of the things that I really took note of while reading, so just know that everything's amazing!

Overall, this was an awesome start to the novel, and I'm really looking forward to what comes next! You did great with this, so I hope all of the important aspects of this writing carry over to future chapters!

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!

Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!

dragonight9 says...

Thanks so much for your review and suggested improvement. I'm so glad to see people enjoyed reading my story. :)

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310 Reviews

Points: 60594
Reviews: 310

Wed Jan 03, 2024 3:42 pm
RavenAkuma says...

*I didn't want to lump this into a review, so I made it a comment instead.

So, I remember you mentioned that you want to start publishing Part 1 of Shadow's Rising, which is exciting. Will you still be updating Part 2, or will that go on hiatus? No pressure, I was just wondering. I could read either, myself lol

dragonight9 says...

Part 2 is done for now. Each part has 12 chapters plus a chapter in between.
Don't worry though, Shadow's story will continue in part 4. I just wanted to catch up on Jarid's story first since I do a lot of world building that will help readers starting part 2. So, to answer your question, It might be a while before we see more of Shadow's story.

However, if I see at least three people asking to see more of Shadow's story rather than Jarid's I might end up doing more of the Dragon side of my story first. I want to post things you guys enjoy most after all ;)

RavenAkuma says...

Ah, okay, I understand. Even if it's backward, I would like to finish what's left in Part 2 just because I'm already so far into it. And like I said, I will read either Jarid or Shadow's story, so I know I'm good with whatever you update first lol.

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310 Reviews

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Reviews: 310

Wed Jan 03, 2024 3:38 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...

Hello again, my friend!

Wow, it's nice to see more about Jarid, after that grand prologue! If that's what Part 1 is going to focus on, I would love to keep reading this. It was generally a slower chapter, but that's great; especially after an action-packed opening, as I'm imagining this going right after the prologue, it feels good to read something calm. Something to just get an idea of what you're stepping into, not being hit with too many chaotic elements. That, and it really speaks to this casual, brotherly bond that Jarid and Shadow have.

I also like how, with this round of practice, you've displayed that humans can use magic pretty fluently as well. I thought they may require some kind of tool, like a wand or something, but it's cooler to see Jarid just throwing fireballs and launching wind kicks. It was an interesting note that it's usually only nobles who wield magic, as if it's hinting toward Jarid's past or maybe even foreshadowing a big revelation in future chapters. Likewise, it gives us more of an idea of how the human side of this world works, including the general "hierarchy" and dragon riding. Nobles get the power *literally* and access to the exclusive school, while even the talented "peasants" have to fight to get anywhere.

Jarid's display of determination and excitement to get into that school despite his class, as well as his committed care for Shadow and willingness to teach him, speaks volumes about his character. Already, it draws reader attention and interest.

I am speechless about the structure and writing skills I've picked up on! Not to say "Shadow's Rising: Wing 2" has displayed bad writing skills, I would never say that, but there is a noticeable leap just in general; formatting, word choice, dialogue, descriptions, all of it seems so refined in a way. I can tell you really put a polish on this story, so great job on that. I'm not a professional anyway, but I would rate this opening chapter 10/10, haha.

One more note, I like that you're making your chapters longer! I get that the chapters in the other novel are split in two, so they're just naturally shorter, but this is just a nice length; I like it.

Awesome work! Very nice! :)

dragonight9 says...

So glad you enjoyed, and thanks for all the different parts you pointed out. It really helps me know what to emphasize in the future and gives me ideas for future plot points.

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100 Reviews

Points: 3676
Reviews: 100

Mon Jan 01, 2024 11:58 pm
dragonight9 says...

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100 Reviews

Points: 3676
Reviews: 100

Mon Jan 01, 2024 11:57 pm
dragonight9 says...

Half the work that is done in this world is to make things appear what they are not.
— Elias Root Beadle