So I was pondering during my free block suffering from extreme boredom and i'm all like "Hey! I'll write a crazy poem about my favorite crazy movie!" Obviously that would be Alice in Wonderland. A lot of these words aren't even words, they are just so much fun to use though! So i've made up some of my own words and in almost every paragraph i have put in one of my favorite quotes from each character. Part of the insanity of this piece is that it starts with some one telling a story and then morphs into someone planning out their day. Also if you get any confusion in the 5th stanza: "exaketededly" really means "exactly". Also this is probably the longest poem i have every written so there are lots of kinks and things i need to work out in there so please help me out! And don't forget, Anything goes in Wonderland!
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139,616 Literary Works • 672,626 Reviews
Hey there, a review - as requested!
- So, first stanza is already amazing. I love the Jockeys and Wockys. Amazing. My only nitpick in here is the . Sounds a tiny bit awkward, that bit. May I suggest 'That is now way too old', or 'That is now a bit too old'. God, those are terrible.Wow, creative! I like creative.
Nitpicks ahead:
- You don't fall under holes, you fall through them. So, you might have fallen under a tree, under something that has to be above, you know what I mean?
- This line doesn't flow as smoothly as the previous one. I would replace the 'wonderful', or the 'down below'. The whole line just seems too long.
- Absolutely love this. Love it love it love it. Good job on these two lines. The exclamation is appropriate and fits in with the general tone of the poem.
- I agree with HarryPotterRocks over here, don't use this word. The Mad Hatter isn't that ugly - he is Johnny Depp after all
- Once again, an amazing stanza. You fit the quote really well in the poem.
- problem, I say.
- Good height, I'd say.
- Capital 'I' in here, and comma after Alas.
I love the way you put some letters in bold and capital so it spells "wonderland". Very creative, once again, and I like that kind of approach. Though I'm not so keen on the poor little D being left out at the end of the poem.
May I suggest: putting the letters in the poem more randomly - it's okay if the letter isn't at the start of the world - you are writing about a weird and creative world - so it would be fine to put those letters in random places. If you don't make them in capitals, then it would be easier.
Overall, I really loved this. I am giving this a "like", and I am really glad I got to read something this good.
Well done - it was awesome.
Keep up the great work, and I hope I wasn't too harsh, because really, I loved it!
polly xx
OMG! THAT WAS SO COOL! HA! Jabberwocky? Oh! I REMEMBER NOW! *mental face palm* LOL! Grostuqe is not the best word the for the awsome madd hatter! HE'S MAD FOR GOD SAKE! OBESE IS MORE LIKE IT! HA Jokes! I'm in a random mood so don't mind me! It is really good. Please continue writing.
Haha thanks all! and yeah i know it's probably not water but thats all i could think of lol. And i put the capitals at the beginning of each sentence to perhaps help emphasis on the kind of insanity of the narrator. Oh and finally i didn't put anything in about frabjuous day because this is all referring to the 1951 Alice in Wonderland, although the 2010 Alice in Wonderland is fantabulous!
Haha! Such an awesome poem with an awesome topic! Alice in Wonderland is one of my favourites too!
Pretty good poem! But, you really need to capitalize your I's and add a little punctuation. Though, I did expect something about the Frabjuous Day and the dance that Hatter does. (I forgot what it's called.) But, otherwise, really good poem! Also, you don't need to have every line of a poem beginning with a capital letter. Only if the previous line ends in a full stop, you should start the next line with capitals. Keep Writing!
~HPR~
Oh Mii God!!! I love it!!!
) I LOVE Alice In Wonderland! That may cause a little bias but oh well I find this great 
Though I did notice that you didn't really capitalize your I's, so you should go back and fix that. Your rhyme is great and and the flow quite good as well, when you can get both of those down in a poem it just makes it all the better.
I love these lines!
Well, Not much more to tell you with such poems like this there really is nothing to fix up other then a little pump and rut
Good job,
~Rain