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139,334 Literary Works • 672,537 Reviews
Wowe! You don't see poems like these much! XD
I can't review indepth, but you have some awesome imagery going for you in this poem. Lots of similes and metaphors and vivid scenes... It's almost chilling.
I love your writing style and the theme you tried to interpret. >u<
The poem's really depressing. But in a good way! XD
I have no qualms. O.o
Peace! Aqua!
Good morning dogs
This is 567ajt, and I have come to review this poem.
I mean, this is creepy and scary and honest and all over the place. I really like your use of dramatic words, and how you have over-exaggerated your words to create a sense of doom and depression. It reminds me a little of The Cure And The Cure are, like, totally one of my favourite bands ever 
I am surprised that this work hasn't been reviewed yet. I really like it, and I especially like the last stanza. I'll get to why a bit later on in my review.
So, let's begin:
"Rotting tombs spout
black plumes that fester in the somber air.
While ravens stand shrieking,
like a clock that's ticking,
barren branches are creaking.
As tomb stones are erroding away,
and their dirges have whithered in the grave."
Ok, right off the bat- depressing. But I am one for depressing poetry so you have got my attention. I like the overall feel of this stanza; creepy, unsettling, and it doesn't hold back. I especially enjoy the last line, and the use of "whithered". It is very effective to read. One thing I will say for improvement is the line "like a clock that's ticking". I think that compared with the rest of your poem, it isn't very strong. I would prefer more description and maybe even some personification. It could work.
"Imprisoned within a swirling culdran
of seething dirt and rotting flesh,
decaying kings disintigrate to dust.
Worms to lords
and kings to dust.
All serving as slaves
to time's plot.
Tick... Tick... Tock."
This is now getting seriously, seriously Gothic. And I am enjoying ever last word of it
"In a dark and dreary murk,
time poisons our lives.
Clawing and gnashing at our throats
until its all but
shattered our rhyme,
and doomsday will chime."
The drama is continued to the very bitter end. And the "doomsday will chime" part? Yeah, I think I may have had a mini accident. Congratulations. I am literally terrified. Therefore, you have succeeded in creating a menacing piece of work. Your pessimism shines through in this poem, and I hope you write more in this style.