We traveled the rest of the day, I hadn't had any idea that it was this big... unless we've been going around in circles that is. They gave me food occasionally but seemed like they didn't like me too much. Sylo, the one with spiked up brown hair that went in all different directions, was the nicer of the two. He seemed to like me more; Ronex on the other hand was a whole different story. He'd practically go out of his way to make me feel worthless or say something rude to me. He had fiery red hair that flopped down on his head, it was more orange though. They both seemed around the ages of 20 something so they weren't too old. The second time we stopped, it was in front of a large building. I got excited and was about to scream for someone to help me until a guy around 16 bounded out of the house. He hugged me and grinned at Ronex and Sylo.
"Finally, you made it! You didn't have to tie this poor thing up you know!" he said in an almost too friendly voice. He undid the knots on my hands and I ripped that stupid cloth off my mouth. I glared at Ronex full force, it was probably his idea to do this crap to me... I rubbed off the anger though, since he could probably kill me with just his pinky. The guy who had come up to us, had shaggy purplish-black hair that went in his eyes a little. He was wearing a loose black T-shirt and white skinny jeans. I stood there awkwardly, knowing that if I just so happened to run, they'd capture me... again.
"Well, let’s go inside and get something to eat. I'm not sure what you eat, Kamalia but I just so hope you're not too picky..." He said, a dangerous look flashed in his eyes and was instantly gone the moment I saw it.
He grabbed onto my wrist and almost skipped inside. I was repulsed and pulled away to see if I could get away but he tightened his grip. I took a good look at the house before I went in, the white paint on it was peeling and it looked like it was deserted. Great, Now I really don't have ANY chance of getting found now. I was dragged into the house and pulled into some room that seemed something like a kitchen. Thorn pointed to a chair and watched me until I sat down. Soon, delicious smells filled the air and some chicken stew was made. I’d watched his movements carefully to make sure he didn’t spike my food or anything. I saw nothing mysterious so when he put the stew down in front of me, I wolfed it down like there was no tomorrow. Well, they hadn’t hurt me yet so maybe… well… UGH, Who am I kidding? They’re probably just planning to torture and kill me- Goodbye life and all the people I knew! I thought sadly to myself. I eyed the door and waited for an opening.
After the meal, they gave me a tour of the house. I memorized any exits or possible places to hide. I watched their every movement and tried different things on them. Everytime I took a step in the wrong direction, they'd turn around. It was like they had eyes on the back of their head!
“Thorn, when do you think the guys will be back? They're probably going to want to see her before we go out…” Said Ronex, contemplating on what to say next, “For a run…”
“Um, I’m not really sure. They were out at the store getting things, we’re probably going to stay here a while longer than the other places,” he replied. Ronex chuckled at this but I didn’t see what was funny. Thorn started walking away and beckoned me with his finger to follow him. My eyes went wide and I looked around, a little panicked. I swallowed and got up, following him. He led me upstairs and to one of the many rooms there. I hadn’t realized he was carrying my book bag until he threw it on the bed.
“This is your room, Get comfy cause you’re staying here… for a while…” I looked at him questioningly as he walked out, closed the door behind him, and locked it. Well, that’s just great isn’t it? I eyed the room curiously. The walls were a pale night sky blue with a thick, white bed in the middle. It looked incredibly comfy… A nightstand was right next to it with an ancient, out of place lamp. I stuffed my book bag into one of its drawers and went opened a door, it was a small half- walk in closet with nothing in it, only a couple hangers. I tried another door and found that it was a bathroom. It had beige walls, a glass shower that had absolutely no coverage for when you took a shower, and a big mirror with a lot of dust on it. I finally stopped snooping around and jumped into the bed. I felt bad, like I was dirtying it up but made myself not care. I dug myself deep under the covers and cried. I cried for pitying myself, for being kidnapped, for being here. This wasn't something that was supposed to happen to me...
After a long while, I finally fell asleep. Not without the nightmares haunting my sleep though.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
Hey, write more. Pleas!?!?!?????????!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?"!?!
Me again
Let's start?
This chapter is bothering me a little... Mostly because of the change of the whole feeling in less then a sentence, or because of the MC's lack of emotions, I'm not sure. I get Kamalia is scared, and angry, but the feelings are merely a buzz in the background. If I was being abducted, I would be SCARED shitless, and when I would find out they wouldn't have to tie me up, I would have been freaking ANGRY. I don't feel Kamalia is bothered in the least, she just says she is, but you need to show me she is. Don't be afraid to make her stomp, make her tremble, make her scream... unless she is a very level headed character, then show me she thinks about escaping more. Right now, I just feel as if she wants to go with it.
Other then that, again with the mysterious boys. Gahhh, I want to read more x)
-Truth-
Okay, thanks. That helps a lot
I didn't know if you meant to spell werewolf wrong or not, but you did, first off. My main thing with this piece is the wording. There is one line that says something along the lines of "let's get stuff to eat." and stuff just sounds really weird there. That and just the wording in general sounds immature at times. The story line is good and the names are really creative, but the wording just... doesn't catch my attention. It makes it difficult to read and hard to get into.