z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Winter Poems

by chhlovebooks


Winter

~

Children stand on a street corner covered in snow

at the intersection of Autumn and Early Winter.

Like smoking dragons,

they breathe out clouds of white.

Steam rises from their lips.

~

Pale cheeks flush red with cold,

pink roses in a sea of ice.

Laughter cracks out amidst the frost,

shattering the frozen silence.

~

Waiting for the snow to fall, the children watch,

hoping to catch a glimpse

of that first delicate flake.

As if responding to their wishes,

the sky opens,

releasing a torrent of white.

~

Gently, silently, softly,

pure pearls of frozen water

wing their way down,

finally settling upon crimson slashes in the snow;

the children's waiting tongues.

~

As if wanting to join in the fun,

a playful wind blows past;

stirring the flakes into a frenzy,

and sending them dancing

in an intricate ballet

against the grey backdrop

of a cloudy sky.

~

Watching in wonder,

the children gaze up,

eyes fixed on the falling snow.

Smilingly, one child giggles

as the flakes settle

on their nose and eyelashes.

~

All too soon however,

the snowflakes melt against hot skin,

and the light changes from red to green.

Storming down the crosswalk,

the children march across the intersection.

From the street corner Autumn, they walk

to Winter.

~


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485 Reviews


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Mon Apr 11, 2016 10:08 pm
Elijah wrote a review...



Fresh,interesting and new!This is all I can say about this.
Overall it is very good.The way it is writen.The feeling and thoughts put in it.
The work by itself is beautiful.
The tittle caught my attention because winter is forever my favourite season.
So you had my attention till the very beginning.
Thank you for sharing this!
I felt the fresh breeze of the winter!It is great!
Saying it is as a winter fan.




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Points: 286
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Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:47 pm
destinywriter27 wrote a review...



These are really beautiful. They have a sense of freshness, just like the Winter air itself. I beg to differ with niteowl. I think you have captured the feel of Winter really well. Even though, it gets dull and gloomy after a while, your focus is on children's experiences and a child barely gets sick of the snow. The poem has a very innocent and amused tone to it, much like a child's reaction to snow. You have a strong voice, which speaks loudly through your poems. I would love to see you write poems with light humor and sarcasm. I think you will do the genre much justice! Good luck and keep writing!




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Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:46 pm
destinywriter27 says...



These are really beautiful. They have a sense of freshness, just like the Winter air itself. I beg to differ with niteowl. I think you have captured the feel of Winter really well. Even though, it gets dull and gloomy after a while, your focus is on children's experiences and a child barely gets sick of the snow. The poem has a very innocent and amused tone to it, much like a child's reaction to snow. You have a strong voice, which speaks loudly through your poems. I would love to see you write poems with light humor and sarcasm. I think you will do the genre much justice! Good luck and keep writing!




chhlovebooks says...


Hey, thanks for the compliments! I'm glad you like it so much. I hope you have a great day/night! ^v^

P.S. Out of curiosity, though, did you intend to post this twice?



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Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:39 pm
TZH wrote a review...



Hey dear! Such a nice piece. Just loved it but yes I agree.... you have to fit the idea between autumn and winter . Though its nice idea and you write it very appropriately. Only thing which I think confusing is
" at the intersection of Autumn and Early Winter."
And then at the end
" from the street corner Autumn, they walk to Winter."
Otherwise its a nice piece
Keep up the good work and good writing skills. Hope to read many many more nice pieces. Good luck. Blessings!




chhlovebooks says...


Thank you very much for the compliments, and if it is not too much trouble, what is it exactly that confuses you about those sentences? Thanks again, and blessings to you as well.



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Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:20 am
TZH says...



Hey dear! Such a nice piece. Just loved it but yes I agree.... you have to fit the idea between autumn and winter . Though its nice idea and you write it very appropriately. Keep up the good work and good writing skills. Hope to read many many more nice pieces. Good luck. Blessings!




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Sun Mar 27, 2016 9:00 pm
niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there chhlovesbooks! Niteowl here to review this lovely poem.

Overall, I enjoy the feel of this. The imagery feels solid and it flows well. That said, it doesn't really seem to capture the mood of "between winter and spring". The imagery is too light and happy. It feels more like early winter, when the snow feels exciting and novel. Having grown up in a snowy place, I can definitely say that by the time February and March roll around, the snow is dreary and slushy and brown and everyone is sick of it. And of course there's often some nice weather followed by a late snowstorm in March or April or even May!

All too soon however,


Just one typo that I found.

Overall, it's a well-written poem, but it doesn't seem to fit the idea of "between winter and spring", at least to me. Keep writing! :D




chhlovebooks says...


Okay, thanks! I'll change this a bit to see if I can get it to fit a bit better. Thanks for the suggestions and have a great day/night.




I'm effortlessly ironic.
— Link Neal