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Infatuation

by chhlovebooks


Infatuation

~

"Love" lives in a castle on a cloud, living out her life behind a window,

watching and waiting.

Always waiting.

For what, you ask? For "The One", her one true beloved of course.

And here he comes, stumbling blindly up the path.

"Love" sees him, and in that moment,

something, once hidden, blooms.

Pulse racing, she rushes to consult her dearest friends.

She is not ready for him,

not yet.

Hurriedly, she gathers her precious advisors, "Determination" and "Patience",

and once together, the trio begins to spin their web,

waiting for "The One" to arrive.

Their plan must be perfect, for Failure is their enemy.

A single mistake, and their flawless trap shall be unraveled.

But weaving is their favorite hobby,

and their hands fly, creating a snare to catch their unsuspecting prey.

And soon, the trap is set.

"Love" smiles in satisfaction at her work, before going to meet her precious beloved,

"The One".

She sashays to the door, her favorite colored dress swaying in wide arcs of pink,

a shade lighter than sticky, sickeningly sweet cotton candy.

With a mighty push, "Love" heaves the heavy wooden doors of her abode open,

and welcomes her startled beloved inside.

Carefully she treats "The One", urging him into her home.

She can not allow him to be frightened, can not allow him to run;

not until she has claimed him as her own.

"Love" leads him to a plush, red sofa, and bids him to take a seat.

Apprehensively, her beloved does so, and in an instant, her friends have him pinned in place.

Although, instead of "Determination" and "Patience", the masks have been cast off,

and in their place stand Obsession and Deceit.

Game, set, match, their twisted smiles say as they hold him in place.

The trap has been sprung.

"Love" smiles down at "The One".

Finally, he is within her grasp.

All he needs to do is accept her devotion to him, and he will be hers.

But instead of giving in, instead of submitting to his fate, he does the opposite.

Her precious beloved, her one true love, gazes up into her eyes and says...

"I hate you. I will never care for you. I do not want your affection."

Rejection.

He rejected her...

Her worst fear has come to pass.

And in that moment, she combusts.

Her temper flares, searing her twisted, blackened heart, and cracking her mask in two.

No longer does she pretend to be Love, and instead, reveals her true face for all to see.

Her eyes gleam with lust and fury, her rose-pink mouth twists into a savage sneer.

Her name?

She is Infatuation, and infamous for the lengths she will strive to gain what she most desires; a lover.

And another thing?

She is deadly to all but a cherished few.

Her beloved is lucky that she cares for him so,

otherwise, he might have been scorched by her anger long ago.

Infatuation gestures to Deceit and Obsession, who then twist their hold on him until he can barely breathe.

Smirking softly to herself, she then goes to sit by her beloved's side.

Even if he does not return her feelings, she doesn't care.

It would have been nice to have him comply to her will,

but she knows, and has known, deep down, that he would never accept her.

True, it made her mad that he had refused her, but as long as they were together, what did it matter?

Infatuation strokes his cheek tenderly, as if he were some precious, porcelain doll.

And why wouldn't she treat him so gently?

After all, he is her greatest weakness and her most powerful strength, all rolled into one.

He could make or break her with a single word, but she doesn't care.

All that matters is that he is hers,

forever.


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806 Reviews


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Sun Apr 03, 2016 1:19 am
Aley wrote a review...



Hello!

Happy Review Day!

First off I'd like to say that this is quite an interesting way to do a poem. I think you've really got some talent in storytelling/narrative poems. You should keep that up!

I would like to comment that your poem itself could use some improvements as a story however. I feel like the whole "Love" vs Infatuation thing is sort of, off, because infatuation isn't this huge evil thing, it's just a puppy love. It's like when you just start to love something and you're tentative about really falling for them. It's just another way to describe love.

You're making it out like it's something huge and negative, like infatuation only happens when there's an obsessive person involved who is going to lie about everything, and that's just not the case. The problem is I'm not exactly sure what other things you could use. Lust is probably a bit better for a descriptor, but that's definitely a different insinuation.

This woman is more of a Black Widow, or a person who chases after men and then eats them when she's done. She's going to chase after anyone who comes close to get their money, basically. The term comes from women who outlived their husbands repeatedly. It was super derogatory and mean, because basically it's accusing them of murder, but that feels more accurate than something more innocent as infatuation.

As for the poem itself, I feel like you really should expand your horizons and explore enjambment, which is just basically having sentences on more than one line. Don't always stop/pause at the end of a line. Mix it up. That's going to really help with some of the syntactical looks of the poem and make it feel more mature.

Right now this poem feels very nursery rhyme and if you want to tackle a different tone, then you're going to have to expand and explore. However, what you're doing in this tone is really good, so keep it up.

I hope to see more from you.

HAPPY REVIEW DAY!

Aley.




chhlovebooks says...


Infatuation: foolish or all-absorbing passion (taken from dictionary.com). Top two synonyms: fascination, obsession (taken from thesaurus.com).

I am sorry, but I kind of disagree with you, as I don't think infatuation is mere puppy love. The very definition makes it out to be all-absorbing and obsessive, which is very different than love. The difference? Love, I believe it is not just passion for something, it is an urge to protect or take care of it as well; which is very different from infatuation in the aspect that you do not care if the other returns your feelings, you will force your feelings on them anyway. With love, one would respect the decision of the object of their feelings, and would back off and keep their feelings to themselves. I get that you probably have a different definition for love than I do, but this poem reflects my interpretation. As for the level of complexity, I understand that you think it would be a good idea to use more complicated styles, but please don't use terms like "nursery-rhyme" or imply that my simple style needs replacing, as such things feel rather degrading to me. Also, just because I use a simple style here does not mean that I do not know how to write using a more intricate format.

However, even if you might have implied a few things, I thank you for your review. Have a nice day/night.



Aley says...


Yeah, we have different dictionaries. Mine tends to be google, but I have such strong denotations and connotations with this particular word I never bothered looking it up. Google says "an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something." which is basically puppy love. You're just picking the definition that suits you. I mean, if we look at Infatuated it's a completely different definition even in Dictionary.Com http://www.dictionary.com/browse/infatuated see?

So in reality, I'm not wrong and you're not wrong either. I think you're not completely right that infatuated people will force it on others because some of the definitions do support my suggestion that infatuation is the beginning of love, but you're right that most of them do comment it deprives them of their judgement. I'm not sure "all absorbing" or "obsessive" is right though, more like "stupidifying" and "intoxicating" would fit better how I see it.

However, love is a passion for something, or so says dictionary.com http://www.dictionary.com/browse/love so yeah. We define things differently.

I'm sorry that I didn't see it as your interpretation of the words. I think the reason I didn't was because they were presented in a more declarative tone using them as names, but I really liked that because of the style of writing you used. I'm sorry to hurt your feelings.



chhlovebooks says...


Hey, it's okay, and thanks for the apology. It's nice to actually get a well-thought-out response every once in a while! ^v^



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Fri Apr 01, 2016 3:53 pm
smartdog90 wrote a review...



It's Smartdog90 here, doing another review! :)

Flow: The flow is ok, I like how each line transitions, but it's a little hard to follow. It's not enough to mess up the poem, but it's still a little 'off'(If you know what I mean).

Grammar: The grammar is good, I don't find anything wrong with it :)

Title: The title makes perfect sense for this poem, the whole time whether she is pretending to love or not, Infatuation is and I quote an "intense but short-lived and irrational passion for somebody or something". She is obsessed with "The One", and even if he doesn't want to be with her, or he doesn't share feelings, it doesn't matter to her.

Mood: The mood is kind of intense, the whole time I'm reading it sort of changes a little at a time until loves true identity is revealed.

I like this poem, and I think this is a different approach to poetry.
This has been another review by smartdog90, hope you find this helpful and keep writing!




chhlovebooks says...


Thanks a lot for the review! ^v^




There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
— William Shakespeare